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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to cancel my party?

43 replies

WhyamIBoredathome · 27/09/2017 14:28

I had invited friends over for my birthday on Friday for a drinks and nibbles party. Quite a few people have now dropped out, some for genuine reasons and some for stupid flaky reasons.
I am now left with 4 people who have they are definitely coming and 3 Maybes.
It's hardly a party now with 4 guests, plus the 4 guests are from 3 different groups of friends and don't know each other either.
WIBU to just cancel the party? or does it make me just as flaky as the flaky ones that dropped out?
I'm feeling quite sad about it to be honest, I've been pretty lonely recently and I was so looking forward to seeing all my friends. Sad

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 27/09/2017 14:30

I'd go ahead anyway.

WorkingBling · 27/09/2017 14:31

No, don't cancel. But now you have budget to up things a bit as you have fewer people. Splash out on more/better food or drinks. Think about things you can do to make it more fun and enjoy it with the people who have actually made the effort. Cancelling now sends a message to the people who DO care that you don't.

BenLui · 27/09/2017 14:31

I’d go ahead. Celebrate with the lovely friends who are coming. A small gathering of friends can be just as much fun as a big party.

MrsGB2225 · 27/09/2017 14:31

Sorry to hear your friends are being shit! So there are def 5 of you and maybe 8? I would still go ahead but make it more of a chilled evening as in wine/cheese/candles and a good catch up.

Meepmoop · 27/09/2017 14:32

I would still go ahead with it. They might be from different groups
But I'm sure they will get on and may expand their friendship groups

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 27/09/2017 14:34

Definitely go ahead. Some of the best parties I've gone to have been unexpectedly small gatherings. It'll give you more of a chance to chat to your friends and for them to get to know each other

PinkHeart5913 · 27/09/2017 14:34

I'd go ahead and celebrate anyway! 🎉

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 27/09/2017 14:35

I'd change it from a party, a party isnt 8 people - can you turn it into more of a supper party?

glenthebattleostrich · 27/09/2017 14:35

Can you make it a nice dinner party instead? Some nice meals from M&S which you just bung in the oven? A few silly games to break the ice and lots of booze.

Original poster
WhyamIBoredathome · 27/09/2017 14:36

Unfortunately good wine would be a bit pointless as apart from me they will all be driving!! And I'll be drinking G+TGrin

I worry that the ones who come are going to turn up expecting a big party and think it's weird when there's only a few others.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyamIBoredathome · 27/09/2017 14:39

glen I could do dinner I guess, but I can't get to anything like M+s before Friday so I'd need to cook.

OP posts:
TheKidsAreTakingMySanity · 27/09/2017 14:39

Just let them know it's changed to different kind of party. Get some takeaway ordered and have a good laugh.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 27/09/2017 14:47

This seems to happen so often these days. My lovely friend booked a hall and a ban

BigSandyBalls2015 · 27/09/2017 14:48

A band for her 50th and loads blew out on the day 😡

elfinpre · 27/09/2017 14:50

Definitely go ahead. You could all have a game of Twister with those numbers. Grin

user1495451339 · 27/09/2017 14:52

Just text your friends and say that as not many people are coming now you are going to treat everyone to a takeaway instead! Am sure they will appreciate that and it will probably be easier and cheaper than worrying about cooking! It's my birthday too and have just arranged to go out for dinner with 5 friends, was going to invite more but worried none would be up for it so stuck to the 5 faithfuls!!!

Babymamamama · 27/09/2017 14:55

Just go ahead with it. I've been reading about Hygge (very last year I know) and the Danes seem to think the happiest gatherings are smaller and more meaningful. You could make it a cosy sit down affair with yummy finger food, candles etc. Just look at it as an opportunity to spend quality time with friends who are making time for you.

becotide · 27/09/2017 14:55

I'd cancel it. It will be very hard work to try to reconcile the four people who don't know each other, and do you really want that? SPend the money on a nice present for yourself.

Original poster
WhyamIBoredathome · 27/09/2017 14:57

Funnily enough all 4 still coming are men - all the ladies dropped out. Two of the three Maybes are also male. I wonder if this says something about women...

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/09/2017 15:02

So sorry - similar happened to me one birthday, and I ended up with only 3 people there, 2 of whom knew each other and 1 who didn't. It was ok but only because my friends worked hard to make it so - less of a party, more of an informal gathering in the end. Also the 2 who knew each other were staying over so could drink more.

I don't think I'd cancel at this stage, I'd make the best of it - you never know, it could turn into a really good evening with people getting to know others they don't already! Besides, if you cancel the few who can make it, any of them who are a bit sensitive might think that they're "not good enough" to have a party with! (My sister is like this, that's how I know that people like that exist).

chocatoo · 27/09/2017 15:03

If its all fellas I'd go to the pub! Maybe treat to some pub grub? or a curry after?

Jaxhog · 27/09/2017 15:03

I wouldn't tell them - they might then also drop out.

2014newme · 27/09/2017 15:04

Do it. Get a takeaway or similar

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/09/2017 15:06

Ha! xposted with you. That might be a bit more awkward, them all being men! Less likely to get the hump if you change it to a night down the pub as well.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 27/09/2017 15:06

Do go ahead. Much better to celebrate with fewer people, but ones who care about and value you enough to attend (excluding those with genuine reasons for not attending if course).