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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel a bit deflated by client cancellation - AIBU?

14 replies

RangeTesKopeks · 27/09/2017 12:59

I started giving English lessons to someone's DC recently (I tutor part-time and am registered with a few agencies).

We've had a couple of weekly lessons together, and had arranged another one for a couple of days' time. The lessons seemed to be going well, with both the client and DC seeming happy with the sessions and finding them useful.

Anyway, I was contacted by the client last night to say that they no longer wished to continue the lessons and they'd also like to cancel our upcoming session in a couple of days' time.

I fully understand that they are within their rights to do this. Their cancellation message was also very kind and polite. I really appreciate that they've let me know about this in advance as well, especially as I've had situations in the past where my clients haven't come to a session, and then when I've sent them a follow-up message to ask if everything is okay, they've then said that they'd prefer not to carry on with lessons.

Given the politeness of the client's message and the advance warning that they've given me in this situation, AIBU to feel a bit deflated? I took it a bit personally, but know that it is a bit daft to Blush please help me get a grip?!

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 27/09/2017 13:10

It's natural to feel deflated, but it is the nature of the work that you do. Take a deep breath and see if there is something you can do that will help you get/retain more clients.

Shadow666 · 27/09/2017 13:14

I also tutor English. There are loads of reasons kids quit. Maybe the family are having money problems, maybe work scheduling problems, maybe kids wants to try something else. It's just one of those things. Nothing personal against you. I also find the younger the kid, the higher the turnover. Keep trying, keep trying to recruit new students, it'll be fine.

pasturesgreen · 27/09/2017 13:14

Try not to take it personally OP. It's quite reasonable to feel slightly deflated, but on the upside they didn't let you down last minute. In the gentlest possible way, you need to develop a bit of a thick skin if you want to make a success of being self-employed.

RapunzelsRealMom · 27/09/2017 13:15

When I've finished with tutoring (and during, from time to time), I always ask for feedback. I'm registered with some tutoring websites which request feedback from clients too.

They don't always give feedback, in fact I'd say only approx 25% of clients do, but it's very useful when they do.

It's possible the student felt you didn't gel well together, perhaps they're not keen on your style or maybe they've already seen an improvement and the student's confidence has built, based on your lessons so far, and they feel able to continue without your support. It doesn't have to be negative

WhitePhantom · 27/09/2017 13:15

I understand exactly how you feel - very hard not to feel deflated Sad

astoundedgoat · 27/09/2017 13:16

Not at all unreasonable. They may have any number of perfectly reasonable reasons, none of which are related to you or your performance but it's perfectly natural to feel low about it.

I'm a freelancer and you have to just carry on when this happens. HOWEVER maybe act positively in response. Do up a quick questionnaire in an email and ask them for their feedback. You might learn something valuable and useful that you could apply in future.

PoppyPopcorn · 27/09/2017 13:18

Totally natural. I'm self-employed and have had clients in the past who have chosen not to use my services any more. When you're providing a service like I do (writing) and they go elsewhere, you can't help but think it's your fault and deflated.

All you can do is pick yourself up and keep going. It happens to everyone, and is no reflection at all on your skills and abilities.

Runningpear · 27/09/2017 13:29

Yes it's disappointing to lose clients when self employed, but I would echo what PP's have said, it could be due to money, time etc.
Ask for feedback - you may need a thick skin to read!

Viviennemary · 27/09/2017 13:44

Certainly don't take it personally. But I don't think it was fair of the client to cancel a session already booked. People cancel for all kinds of reasons.

LadyFlangeWidget · 27/09/2017 13:47

They could have financial issues.
Send them a feedback questionnaire ... good advice from astoundedgoat.

I teach english too privately... I am in Europe. Kids often drop out but pay for the course in advance. Just one of those things.

tutorwho · 27/09/2017 13:48

I'm a tutor too (the username is a bit obvious! lol) and it is difficult when you feel like it is going well then they cancel.

If you can, ask for feedback.

Yerkgurl · 27/09/2017 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mumontherun14 · 27/09/2017 14:05

I have a tutor for my daughter for maths. I have had to cancel some weeks when we have had other things to pay for as it is quite expensive and sometimes every 2 weeks is enough rather than every week. It's nothing at all against the tutor as she is brilliant - I try and give her as much notice and suggest another date instead. I know it must be a pain but its just us trying to balance our budget and other commitments. Don't take it personally they may have had a loss of income that has meant its become a luxury xxx

Original poster
RangeTesKopeks · 27/09/2017 14:56

Thanks so much for helping me to see sense, everyone :) Flowers I know I am being a bit U to feel upset, as it comes with the territory with the nature of freelance work, as PP have suggested. Thanks for your ssupport.

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