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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take my children away without OH?

51 replies

pinkgoo · 27/09/2017 12:14

My OH is having to travel away for work over half term, so I will be left to juggle child care and work on my own. I want to take the kids away for a couple of nights in a caravan to give them something nice to do as
I will be working the rest of the week. OH has said I am selfish and shouldn't be doing this without him.
AIBU ?

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 27/09/2017 15:06

What a total cock.

My DH would be excited on our behalf, happy the children would have fun, secretly glad of a night or two on his own.

SunSeaAndSangria · 27/09/2017 15:09

I take my dcs away on my own for a week every year, dh stays at home on cat duty and enjoys the peace. Your bloke sounds like a grade A dick.

ElfEars · 27/09/2017 15:19

Good for you OP. Have a lovely time!

PickAChew · 27/09/2017 15:22

Something tells me this is the tip of the iceberg with your He's controlling behaviour?

rainbowstardrops · 27/09/2017 15:24

He's being totally ridiculous! Go away and have a lovely time with the children.
Stupid arse

MrsJayy · 27/09/2017 15:52

How odd we used to have our own static when kids were young and I or he often took kids ourselves . Your kids dad is saying you are not allowed to have fun without him you which is twatty

Katedotness1963 · 27/09/2017 16:18

He's not even going to be at home, why on earth would he care if you and the children had a couple of days away? Go, and enjoy yourselves.

anothermalteserplease · 27/09/2017 16:22

I'm glad you've booked it OP. Go and have a good holiday with your kids.

pieceofpurplesky · 27/09/2017 16:24

My exh kicked off about a similar thing. I am a teacher and so can't change holiday.s. Over easter he was away for 5 days with work at a conference and had a football tournament for 4 over the bank holiday.m (football in the day and piss-up at night).
My parents asked if me and ds wanted to share their villa in Spain. Exh really kicked off about me abandoning him etc. I still went. Think it was when I started to realise what a narcissist he was! He told everyone how terrible he felt alone pissed with his mates playing football

Rachie1973 · 27/09/2017 16:32

How bizarre to over react to a cheap break to entertain his own children!

My DH would actively encourage me to do something like this, so long as it was within budget!

ChangingStates · 27/09/2017 16:36

I've taken the kids away for a few days/nights when dh has not been able too, usually because of his work. He gets a bit lonely but he's fine with us going.

Well done for booking it, stand your ground as you are no way being unreasonable.

ChangingStates · 27/09/2017 16:37

To not too

kittybiscuits · 27/09/2017 16:38

Good for you OP. Is he usually a selfish bastard?

nocake · 27/09/2017 16:55

I'm a bloke and in his position I'd be actively encouraging DW to take the kids away. I would probably have found them somewhere to stay and printed off a list of fun stuff to do. Your DH needs to stop being an arse.

Maelstrop · 27/09/2017 17:14

How weirdly controlling! And now he's threatening to financially abuse you by having his own account which you won't be able to access? Talk about a massive overreaction! Are you supposed to sit round at half term and look yearningly towards the door waiting for him to return while you do fuck all? Guy's an idiot, sorry.

hardhatfirmlyon · 27/09/2017 17:17

Hmm, a bit controlling. I take ours away loads in the school holidays as my hours are more flexible. I second pp's comment - tell him he'd better come to terms with it nicely pronto or you'll be doing a lot more stuff without him, you know, like life in general..

FiveBoys · 27/09/2017 17:20

Something tells me this is the tip of the iceberg with your He's controlling behaviour

I agree.

FiveBoys · 27/09/2017 17:21

Well as a result he is going to open a new bank account for his money

OP, you have far bigger problems than you realise.

ReanimatedSGB · 27/09/2017 17:22

Yes, there's definitely a bigger problem than this holiday. have a think about all the times you have had to go without something or beg for something; all the times you have given in to him because it was just 'easier' than arguing about whatever it was.

He thinks he's your owner and he's entitled to punish you for disobedience Make sure you have access to money - take half of the joint account contents before he can strip it; get child benefit etc paid into an account of your own, and have a think about how you want to proceed.

GreenTulips · 27/09/2017 17:25

I also have more holidays than DH - if he wants a holiday then he can arrange it.
I ask if he wants to come when we go away and usually he's working/away/wants a break
He can't have it all his own way - life's too short

expatmigrant · 27/09/2017 18:35

I often took my DC away as I'm a teacher and my DH couldn't take the same holiday. Have taken them on many overseas holidays too. Never even had to discuss it in our house.

Original poster
pinkgoo · 28/09/2017 11:23

Update: things are a bit calmer today. He has accepted I am going on this holiday whether he likes it or not. But there are other issues at play and I'm having a long hard think about our future (mine and my DCs).
Thank you for the support !

OP posts:
FiveBoys · 28/09/2017 11:44

Op, hopefully you and the children will go on to a better future than the one you'd have with him.

You've upset the apple cart with your stance on the holiday and it will now throw up all sorts of things.

expatmigrant · 28/09/2017 13:31

Well done OP. Hope you have a lovely few days with the DC and some time to think too Flowers

Cath2907 · 28/09/2017 13:41

YANBU. When I am working during holidays it is up to DH to entertain the LO anyway he likes. If he wants to take LO away in our caravan (which he sometimes does) or to take her to visit his parents for a few days or a day out at the zoo then that is great! I want him and her to have fun so I can concentrate on work.
Tell hubby to do one and go caravan!