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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Guilt for cats stopping me sleeping

26 replies

Ascharged · 27/09/2017 08:36

Long story short i have 2 cats, had to leave my house, and have another place lined up that is going to be just brilliant but sadly not until january.
Until then am in a short term let where they guy was fine with me having my cats but its right next to a really busy main road - cannot let them out.

I feel so fucking guilty. They have toys and they have each other (get along fine, but only really play together 30 minutes a day). They have interactive toys, climbing tree etc etc but i just feel so so bad.
They arent crying to go out or anything and my bf says im projecting human feeligs on them but sometimes i look at the more active one and he seems so bored and i just think "god i am so so sorry". I wish i cpuld talk to him and tell him its only for a few months.

No other solution to be found, cant give them to a friend with gadlrden etc etc, it os what it is and we'll just have to wait.

What can i do in meantime though? :( maybe set aside time to actively play with them like half an hour or an hour a day or something?

OP posts:

CantChoose · 27/09/2017 08:39

My cat can only go out at the weekends and my day off as he's a late neutered tom and gets aggressive with other cats when it starts to get dark.
He asks to go out at other times but soon gives up. DH plays with him every evening when he gets home and he seems happy enough :)

CantChoose · 27/09/2017 08:40

I'd ask for this to be moved to the 'litter box' board btw.

Laiste · 27/09/2017 08:42

Maybe look at the bigger picture?

There are animals being treated with dreadful cruelty all over the world. Starved, beaten, tortured. Two well fed loved cats being in a warm house with some toys for a couple of months is nothing to lose sleep over.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 27/09/2017 08:43

Cats sleep 20 hours a day!

SendintheArdwolves · 27/09/2017 08:43

He asks to go out at other times but soon gives up

That's really sad.

kali110 · 27/09/2017 09:13

Don't feel guilty.
Cats can adapt easily.
Ours are inside cats, one used to be an outside cat, we first kept him in at night then all the the time.
Hes adapted well.
In the first few months we used feliways and calming products containing valerian.
Baphaer do a spot on And treats with it in.
I also got him toys with catnip in.

5rivers7hills · 27/09/2017 09:18

Try and tire them out - can you give them a good play and run around before you feed them breakfast, and again in the evening before dinner? That sort of mimics the natural hunt - kill - eat - sleep instincts.

tehmina23 · 27/09/2017 09:18

Don't feel bad - my cat goes out but only when I'm in and never in the evening as we have large foxes here.
She panics if I'm not in the house when shes out iyswim.

Some days I can't let her out at all but other days she goes out three times.

My sisters cat is always indoors- he has lots of toys, places to climb, a scratching post & lots of attention.

Don't feel bad, it's not for long.

TheCatsMother99 · 27/09/2017 09:22

Your cats will be fine, just make sure you play with them as much as possible.

RonSwansonsMoustache · 27/09/2017 09:47

They’ll be fine.

Mine don’t go out because we live on a 60mph road. They have toys and scratching posts, DP and I both play with them in the evenings and they run around chasing each other too. But they sleep for about 85% of their day and spend another 5-10% bathing so they don’t actually need that much stimulation in my experience, especially as they get older.

In America and Australia, most cats are indoor cats and they manage just fine. They don’t need to hunt and go outside so long as they have enough food, toys and entertainment indoors.

Original poster

Ascharged · 27/09/2017 09:53

Thank you for your reassurance everyone, sorry if i sounded pathetic!
Its true my bf says they are more than spoiled and since i work from home they also follow me around getting involved in anything.
After a day working, gym and household chores the last thing i feel like doing is getting on all fours to play with them (but cuddle and pet them pretty much continuously) but to set my mind at rest from now on will do half an hour of play with them - that plus their play together and with their toys should see them through to January. :)

OP posts:

Cornettoninja · 27/09/2017 10:02

Release a couple of mice in the house to keep them occupied?

Mine only go out if we're in because they're too precious (in temprement) to not have free access and our current house can't accommodate that. Lots of toys/scratching/trees and I make sure they have a little tray of grass (this is the biggest issue for mine because they love a chew) and I occasinakly order catnip plants from eBay which go down really well. I've not got green fingers but you might have better luck keeping them alive!

kali110 · 27/09/2017 10:20

My one cat does not play, if you give him toys he gives you stink eye

LightDrizzle · 27/09/2017 10:35

God I totally misread the thread title and clicked to see how on earth you thought it could be possible for anyone to "guilt" a cat for stopping them sleeping. I assumed your catbastards were yowling in the night, bed-hogging or walking up and down your supine body and breathing in your face like mine used to.

Original poster

Ascharged · 27/09/2017 10:45

@LightDrizzle

Hahahahahahaha!!!!! Mine start going fucking apeshit at 6am, pouncing on bed, climbing up curtains and one of them starts manically attacking the shower curtain, they play fight qnd chase each other, etc etc, boyfriend is like "right thats it, ive had it with them, they are getting barred from the bedroom", im like "no! No! (Feeble enabler) They're only cats they dont understaaaand, just let them live!!!!"

OP posts:

Mittens1969 · 27/09/2017 10:48

I couldn't imagine keeping my 4 cats inside long-term, not with my 2 DDs. It would drive me bonkers and I would hate having to deal with litter trays constantly. But where it's for a short stretch, like before having a kitten spayed, then needs must.

The cats will be fine, though, no need to worry about them. They have a really lovely home with you.

CantChoose · 27/09/2017 11:11

sendintheardwolves not sure if you mean that as a general reflection on my home for him...
We'll it's sort of sad, but less sad than being run over because he will wander or attack / be attacked as he gets so aggressive if out at night.
And less sad than being in battersea for any more than the six months he had already been there because nobody else had felt able to manage his issues. It was them who said he must never be allowed out at dusk or at night. I assure you he's very well looked after!

kali110 · 27/09/2017 16:50

Agree with CantChoose
Less sad than the cat being run over or being attacked by other cats or animals.

MsMims · 27/09/2017 17:04

You shouldn't feel guilty, you're keeping them safe and loved which is more than many cats have.

My house cats love shelves on the wall that they jump about on. An automatic laser toy is another hit (also have a handheld one), and the 'da bird' toy. I'd rather put a bit of effort into entertaining them than have them killed prematurely outside.

lindblum · 27/09/2017 22:06

I don't believe cats ever need to be outside.

Obviously your cats are used to it, and this view is more common in North America where they have more predators like coyotes and bears. But cats are domesticated. They're not wild animals, their life feral is very, very hard. An indoor cat doesn't suffer for being indoors.

A lot of people who have indoor cats cat-proof their back gardens so that the animal stays - this, honestly, involves a big fence as far as I know, one the cat can't jump. Other people take their cats on supervised walks. A cat not used to any of that probably won't take well to it unless they have the sweetest temperament.

Honestly, don't feel guilty? As long as they're appropriately stimulated with various toys, and activities like cat trees and food dispensers, and especially with two cats who like each other and interact well, they'll be fine. Especially if they're not eager to go out. I've known cats who are allowed to go out, but just don't want or care to, and I've known calm, friendly, well-socialised indoor cats.

They don't at all need it - plus they are actively harmful to wild bird populations, and are at incredible risk of being killed in road accidents - indoor cats do generally do very well. Your worry is understandable and if you think your cat is bored there's a huge variety of interactive toys that he might be interested in. Someone earlier mentioned Feliway diffusers, which are good at calming anxious or aggressive cats and might work for you.

Cats are pretty chill animals all told. Give them a variety of heights to sit and watch you from - cat trees are great - and they'll be happy without needing to go outside. :)

lindblum · 27/09/2017 22:09

The asking to go out at certain times, honestly, is probably him trying to work out the new rules of where to take a shit.

Make sure your two cats have separate litter trays; they tend to want to go privately.

caringdenise009 · 27/09/2017 22:15

Good idea about releasing mice. Would you like the one mine has just dropped through the window? It's disappeared and she's buggered off out again, prob to get another.

Poppins2016 · 27/09/2017 22:28

Vary their toys every day and add 'unusual' extras (loo rolls, scrunched up newspaper, etc).

Try hiding treats/food in scrunched up newspaper or in unusual places, so that the cats have to work to find it.

Ensure that you have one litter tray per cat plus an extra one. Same for water bowls (and ensure that water/food/litter trays are set apart from one another).

Play with the cats when you're at home for extra stumulation. Might be worth considering Feliway if they seem to be having trouble adjusting.

For what it's worth, your cats sound much loved, well fed and looked after. Much better than if they were in a Cattery or shelter. It's a temporary situation and you're doing your best!

abbsisspartacus · 27/09/2017 22:33

I used a small dog treat ball to entertain my cat and scrunched up tinfoil balls

DancingOnMyOwn · 28/09/2017 02:23

I've got 2 indoor cats, one of them used to be outside most of the time but since her sister went missing a year ago I have kept her in.

In the last few years I have lost a cat to kidney failure (she was a stray until we found her) lost a cat to cat flu, another cat was run over, and one missing without a trace. I couldn't care less if people think I am cruel for keeping my current cats inside, it is purely for their own sakes.

Don't feel guilty! As long as they are happy, have toys, scratching posts/climbing frames etc. then they will be fine

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