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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

aibu to love this blog post about why formula feeding is brilliant?!

822 replies

girlwithasecretsmile · 26/09/2017 20:42

I think it's great to have a post talking about good things about formula for once but part of me feels bad for laughing so much.

passmethebottleblog.wordpress.com/

OP posts:
eeanne · 27/09/2017 11:18

napmeistergeneral be careful or you'll be accused of being a conspiracy theorist. Because multinational corporations are known for caring about individuals and not profit of course Hmm

Here's an example: a friend in the US registered with a wedding website, to help organize and plan for the event. A month after registering she received two tins of formula as a free "congratulations on your upcoming nuptials" gift from a formula company. She shared the story and turns out this happens to everyone who joins this website.

The pro-FF lobby doesn't need any help. They are the ones running the show!

BertrandRussell · 27/09/2017 11:21

I've decided to stop pussyfooting on this subject. This Mumsnet thing that you are not allowed to say anything positive about breast feeding or correct any misinformation about it because you might upset someone really pisses me off.

Purplemeddler · 27/09/2017 11:22

No one thinks formula is poison

Yes they do, plenty of MNers included.

ordinarymumnat · 27/09/2017 11:22

Its nice to stand up for FF. FF might be the majority, but the BF lot are the noisiest and most judgemental.
With the OP on this.

BertrandRussell · 27/09/2017 11:23

Yes, it's awful that some people had hideous experiences trying, but that means they should be even keener to offer support and help to other women, not try to silence people who try.

SoupDragon · 27/09/2017 11:25

but the BF lot are the noisiest and most judgemental.

I disagree completely. They are evenly matched on the noise and judgement front.

BertrandRussell · 27/09/2017 11:26

"Its nice to stand up for FF. FF might be the majority, but the BF lot are the noisiest and most judgemental."

Bollocks.

Cornettoninja · 27/09/2017 11:27

Ffs, where are these women who need the validation of their choice of feeding method superiority to define themselves?

What a load of bullshit. Feed your kids that's it.

The only reason for bf support is because it's bloody hard for some who should be choosing to persevere, not brow beaten into it when there's a perfectly good alternative. Ff doesn't attract the same support because frankly it doesn't need it.

Both sides need to hush up and stop making new mothers feel like crap. We've all been there however briefly, why are we continuing this damaging nonsense?

Ideally we should all have drug free births but we don't and don't have to because, well, 21st century.

We can all discuss the ideal, but trust needs to include what happens when real life gets in the way and be thankful there are options.

Fricking happiness leeches.

Cornettoninja · 27/09/2017 11:28

Trust=this

londonrach · 27/09/2017 11:30

Shhh...its the best kept secret

Blueskyrain · 27/09/2017 11:32

We might be in the majority, but we are also encouraged to formula feed quietly, whilst feeling guilty. Breast feeders can (and do) shout from the rooftops about how much they like feeding, that is better, and talk about all the benefits of boobs, but when formies do the same, all hell breaks loose - this thread is evidence of this.

I'm a confident, outgoing woman. I'm not afraid to speak my mind, but I feel battered and pressurised and judged by the barrage of anti formula feeding stuff that comes my way. We might be the majority, but we are a repressed majority.

In my nct class, they refused to show us how to safely make up a bottle, even though we asked, because it would be viewed as promoting formula. But we had a dedicated session on breastfeeding. They know that the majority of women will end up formula feeding (as did virtually all of our group), and yet promoting boob was seen as more important than showing people how to safely feed their child if it didn't work out (or didn't want to feed). I knew what to do, and it's a good job, because not one midwife checked we knew how to make bottles, not one health visitor.

Where I live, there is literally breastfeeding support round the clock, and groups that meet every single day. Those groups in reality don't just support breastfeeding, but early motherhood - though that support is only available to those who are a member of the special club breastfeeding makes you a member of.
and yes, formies can go to toddler groups (great...) and paid for activities, but there is nowhere for us to just get support as a new mother, unless we breastfeed.

napmeistergeneral · 27/09/2017 11:36

Formula manufacturers should provide these support classes and groups. We can't expect them to be funded by the NHS or local councils. Cow and gate and co can afford it, local services can't.

Littlecaf · 27/09/2017 11:39

I'm a bit suspicious of the blog.

It has one post.

It is called pass me the bottle.

It is unnecessarily anti breast feeding. The author could be relaying their own experiences but most wouldn't do it in such a negative & anti breastfeeding fashion.

I think it's planted.

littlebird77 · 27/09/2017 11:43

My feeding days are well behind me and with hindsight I really don't know what the hell the fuss and emotion was all about, whether you bf or ff (or both for most mothers) it is totally irrelevant the baby will be perfectly healthy and happy whatever. It is only the bubble of hormones that creates worry about it unnecessarily.

Enjoy your baby and the rest is history! So sad for these people that think it is the holy grail of well being, it really isn't it is all rather silly.

Do what you want, and enjoy your life and baby!

MorrisZapp · 27/09/2017 11:45

I'm so very sick of hearing about support. I had an embarrassing array of support. But I hated bf anyway and my mental health was affected.

Even when you finally crack it and get to a point where you can comfortably bf, you still have to be physically available to this little creature to keep it alive. It means never being away at all, which suits many new mothers but not all.

It drove me towards a breakdown. And yes I pumped all day, much good it did when DS refused to sook a bottle. Never again.

Voiceforreason · 27/09/2017 11:45

Breast feeding is the most natural and probably safest way to feed a baby. It passes on immunity to the baby and studies show that it can help reduce the risk of breast cancer in mothers in later life. It probably is the ideal way but as we know, not always desirable or possible. Mother's health and the health of the baby sometimes impacts on bf.

Formula feeding is a safe and healthy alternative. More expensive and less readily available to some mothers in developing countries, and the safety completely dependent on a clean water supply. With a safe water supply and the right equipment it is completely safe and wholesome.

A few days ago there was a debate on mn about cs vs natural birth. Natural birth is the desirable way of delivering a baby. There is some evidence that passage through the birth canal 'primes' the baby to give it the best start in life. Cs is a safe and acceptable alternative because as we know, for some women there would be no alternative. Isn't it time that women stopped judging each other about these things? Their choices are not made lightly and often as a result of health concerns for both mother and baby. This isn't big business doing it to us, it is us doing it to each other.

GaryBarlowsTaxReturn · 27/09/2017 11:46

One blog post linked here by a totally new poster? It's a journo looking for an easy story, this will be in the DM later.

lollipop7 · 27/09/2017 11:46

@allthatmalarkey

That was me.
I'm not being entirely facetious.

You see You are sharing FACTS. You're not blaming or gloating or opining. That's the shit I am so sick of and it somehow being used as a barometer of superiority of failure.

DaenerysismyQueen · 27/09/2017 11:49

This whole thread is getting on my tits (sorry).

I really relate to the anger and sadness in her post and ended up combination feeding myself, so I know both worlds.

For the poor new mums reading this thread, do what's best for you as a family and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. In a years time you will have a revolting toddler who will literally eat things off the floor!

Cornettoninja · 27/09/2017 11:50

Formies! Grin just no.

I don't really see the problem. Formula isn't a clinical issue for the mother breast feeding can be. Formula has all the instructions printed on the side of its packaging, breasts tend to be text free.

Bottle or breast some delightful know it all will comment in public, but then they will for everything - which way your pram faces, whether your baby has a blanket or pram suit... I don't understand why women insist on adding to the problem.

Fwiw I mixed feed till six months till dd started refusing a bottle (suspiciously around the time I originally planned to stop bf Hmm) and is still going nearing her 2nd birthday. At least the bottle judging stops fairly early on, I'm made out to be some sort of nut-job. Never mind the people in my social circle who are most vocal about my shitness as a mother practically campaigned me to bf in the first place (would have had a crack at it anyway) and their daughter is still on her dummy at 4.... how they fail to see the comparison astounds me Confused

theymademejoin · 27/09/2017 11:54

I think formula feeders are more conscious of negativity towards ff while breast feeders are more conscious of negativity towards bf. We seek out cognitive consistency so look of "facts" that support our beliefs.

Cognitive dissonance occurs when there is a conflict between our beliefs and what we are encountering. We can do two things to reduce cognitive dissonance - change our beliefs or avoid the situation that cause the dissonance. So ff's are more likely to not see or be unaware of negativity towards bf and be very aware of negativity towards ff and vice versa.

I bf and freely admit that I was mainly aware of negativity towards bf and felt that ff was more accepted and tended to attract less judgemental and negative attitudes. And I can only presume that many ff's felt the opposite.

oblada · 27/09/2017 12:05

Allthatmalarkey - could you post the link to the study you read/use to conclude that the risk of cot death is the same for a ff baby sleeping in a separate room and for a bf baby co sleeping? Genuinely curious. My belief is that if done correctly co-sleeping combined with bf is the safest way to sleep for baby. But I know HV don't agree :) and studies to prove one thing or the other with such matters are notoriously difficult and/or flawed.

As for the rest of the subject well all I want to promote is more support for bf mothers as the stats here are appalling. But it can be difficult to achieve that aim without hurting the egos of others... Tricky situation all round.

Blueskyrain · 27/09/2017 12:27

Maybe lots of women stop breastfeeding because they don't like it, or it's too labour intensive and/or painful, rather than there being a lack of support?

NerrSnerr · 27/09/2017 12:29

but the BF lot are the noisiest and most judgemental.

Is that everyone who breastfeeds? Nothing like a generalisation is there?

I breastfeed and it has been a really positive experience for me but people can choose to feed how they like.

I'm not sure how telling people they look like shit in a bra is helpful to anyone.

KalaLaka · 27/09/2017 12:47

Yabu because it's a fake blog with one single post. Nothing funny, clever or original about it.

littlecaf completely agree. Also agree with pp about the annoying style of these blogs...calling a baby 'it' doesn't make you zany and cool.

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