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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to work on Saturday?

50 replies

JonnaSilvie · 26/09/2017 14:12

I'm a teacher in secondary school, and we do visit days every Saturday for Year 5 students at local primaries. Departments take turns to run them, and they've just announced that ours will be this weekend (nothing like notice, right?). Lots of people in the department have young children, so can't drop everything and come in on short notice, so the deputy head has said that he's relying on those of us who don't to come on in.

I initially told him I wouldn't be able to, as I'm a carer to two family members every Saturday to give other family some respite, since they do all week when I am working. He said that was fine, and he'd asked others.

Anyway, he came and found me today and told me that he is still a member of staff short, so I'd HAVE to come in, or he'll have to cancel the whole thing. He kind of caught me by surprise, so I said I would ring family and ask if someone could cover me so I could come in. I'll probably still do this in a mo.

But AIBU to really not want to? I look forward to seeing my family on the weekend, and I feel bad that I'd have to get somebody else to look after them, when I should be able to just do it myself. AIBU to say no?

OP posts:

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 26/09/2017 14:57

YANBU, that is far too short notice. Just really bad organisation! Why couldn't they have done a dept rota at the start of term. So I don't think you should feel bad about saying no, OP. Perhaps by doing so it would point out to whoever is responsible overall for these events that he/she should be a bit more organised?

HelenaDove · 26/09/2017 14:58

littlebird if it was childcare that was needed on a Saturday would you be saying its ok to do the childcare on Sunday

Shes not just visiting family on Saturday She has caring responsibilites for that day.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 26/09/2017 14:58

I wouldnt be happy having to take my kids to school on a saturday when they have other things on (and so do I!)

Nor me, what a pain. I've never heard of this!

RatherBeRiding · 26/09/2017 15:11

No of course you don't HAVE to come in. Has the deputy head tried those staff members who have young children?

Your commitments are just as important as staff with children potentially having child-care issues. You have caring issues.

Deputy head's problem - should have been sorted out earlier with better organisation and better notice.

Be polite but firm - sorry I cannot rearrange my prior commitments.

GU24Mum · 26/09/2017 15:16

It's pretty likely that at least some of the staff members with children either have someone else at home who can help out or are no less capable of asking for favours than you are so I think they should ask everyone equally.

LuluJakey1 · 26/09/2017 15:17

Just say no. You don't even have to give a reason. It is an unreasonable request.

RhiannonOHara · 26/09/2017 15:17

Bollocks to that. Why is your life worth less just because you don't have small children?

Threatening to cancel the whole thing if you can't do it is a bit prima donna-ish too, not to mention terrible management.

I'd email and I'd barely bother to be polite:
'I have prior commitments that I can't rearrange. See you Monday.'

ShitOrBust · 26/09/2017 15:19

Don't say sorry - just say no. and fuck off

Mother of god - when did teachers have to start coming in on saturdays?
they have enough schoolwork and prep to be doing at home at weekends as it is.

no wonder no-one wants to be a teacher.
most thankless job going.

Eliza9917 · 26/09/2017 15:42

Is the deputy head going in and working the Saturday himself?

Userwhocouldntthinkofagoodname · 26/09/2017 15:53

Its not abnormal in jobs to occasionally be asked to go in at the weekend. If you cant do it then you cant do it. Its not unreasonable to ask and its not unreasonable to refuse. Its a pretty normal human interaction.

VenusOfWillendorf · 26/09/2017 16:10

I think it's OK to be asked as a once-off to work on Saturday, particularly if it really is just one or two Saturdays in year.

What's not OK is not being given adequate notice - there's no way that this was just arranged this week if they actually expect parents to show up. The organisers have messed up somewhere; they should take responsiblity for that. And what's certainly not OK is for some staff members to be exempt for having kids - that is shockingly bad!

Original poster

JonnaSilvie · 26/09/2017 16:11

Have had a response. I'd say 50% was understanding, but then was followed up with 50% "I haven't got anyone now". I apologised,which I think was right, but he didn't have me in the first place! It's not like I commited and then backed out.

I suppose the cancellation will all be pinned on me now

OP posts:

wobblywonderwoman · 26/09/2017 16:15

I would be asking for a day of in lieu ... Yanbu!!

You need your weekends

SenecaFalls · 26/09/2017 16:19

OP, no, let them pin the cancellation on the people who are responsible for scheduling such an event on such short notice.

Also I have another perspective on this. As someone who had primary responsibility for caring for an elderly relative, I can attest to how important it was to have other family members who were willing to step in and give me respite on a regular basis. So good on you for taking that responsibility very seriously and not letting this unreasonable request stand in your way.

alltouchedout · 26/09/2017 16:20

If I found out that the dc's teachers were being pressured to work weekends, and made to feel bad when they said they couldn't due to caring commitments, I would be really upset. I can't believe people can't see that adults in need of care matter as much as children.

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2017 16:30

allyouchedout It's no good just saying that people with non-child dependents have the same rights as those with child dependents. It's true - but so do the people with no dependents at all.

alltouchedout · 26/09/2017 16:35

Well of course, but the OP has caring commitments and it's her that we're talking about?...

RhiannonOHara · 26/09/2017 16:45

You shouldn't have apologised.

If he tries to pin it on you, don't stand for it. Point out a) the lack of notice and b) that he didn't ask all the staff.

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2017 16:49

Major on the lack of notice.

Willow2017 · 26/09/2017 17:12

If he tries to pin it on you remind him that the whole organisation of this has been crap. That somebody else has cocked it up. And that many teachers with kids have a partner at home who could do childcare so it is unreasonable to discount everyone with kids from the event. And tell him that your care commitments are just as important as childcare is.

Given proper notice many of the teachers could have been available but not at such short notice. And ask them whose stupid idea was it to run it on a Saturday when teachers have enough out of school work to do unpaid as it is.

Jaimx86 · 26/09/2017 17:32

How much were they offering to pay you? Please tell me they are going to pay staff! If not then they really are taking the piss.

ilovesooty · 26/09/2017 17:37

I'll lay any odds that they weren't offering payment.

NoKidsTwoCats · 26/09/2017 19:45

If you're genuinely not able to make it, send a polite email refusing and outlining your reasons why.

If you are able to do it, I'd suggest sucking it up this time and going but sending a firm email (and perhaps copying in a colleague) to explain that while you're willing to adjust prior commitments on this occasion, in future this should be scheduled with sufficient notice between all departments and staff should do it on rotation. Dumping it on you last minute is ridiculous for a pre-planned event and giving people with kids a free pass is unfair.

NoKidsTwoCats · 26/09/2017 19:46

Should have said 'copying in a senior colleague'

ForalltheSaints · 26/09/2017 20:18

You explained when initially approached, so YANBU.

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