This is really personal, so sorry for posting this, but I feel like I really need some advice please. (If the Daily Mail are reading and would like to use for their own ends, they can buzz off now).
Thanks for any advice you might have :)
My relationship with my DSis isn't great, unfortunately. We're now in our mid-twenties, and I'm a bit worried that we'll never improve it, as time is passing quite fast and we keep on lapsing into the same old habits and sniping at each other as if we're still teenagers. It's stressing us both out. We're twins, if that makes any difference.
I spoke to another close relative who knows us both very well about our relationship recently. They said that they're still trying to work our relationship out. I took this to mean that they don't really understand why we behave the way we do towards each other.
To give some context, I am aware of (some of) my faults and the things that I do that annoy or upset my DSis. One of the problems that I have (and I'm absolutely fully aware that this is not appropriate or okay) is that I tend to explode when I've reached my stress limit, and I can get really frustrated.
I'm really trying to work on this. It sounds like a bit of a cliché, but what's worked well for me so far is trying to remove myself from the situation by taking a step back and taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down works well.
In terms of what upsets me about my DSis's behaviour, it's things that sound very trivial. These things happen so much though that it just gets to a point where I find it very hard to take any more.
An example is my DSis constantly interrupting conversations that I'm having with others (e.g. family or friends) to talk about her own plans (e.g. my friend did X recently, or I'm planning on going on holiday to X, or I think this about X). It sounds so trivial, but just gets so frustrating, as we lose the thread of our conversation and end up talking to her about her plans, which just monopolises everything.
Another thing is, because I work part-time and am currently looking for a full-time job. She works full-time in a very prestigious company, and is doing very well and is on a very good salary. She'll tell me that I've 'never held down a job in my life' (not true), that I 'only work part-time' so if we're ever meant to organise anything together, it's always left up to me because I have 'much more time than her and hardly work'. A recent example is when I had to make something for a family member (I wrote about it in a different thread), and DSis refused to get involved in making it, but then told me that the thing I made 'looked shit' when she saw it. It felt like a slap in the face.
She never says 'please' or 'thank you' because she told me that she doesn't think they're important to say. She'll also say 'can you do X...?' to me or my Dad when we're all at home, and if I say 'no, sorry', I get called out by my DM for being rude.
My DSis is also always late for anything we've planned to do together, or she doesn't turn up to things we have planned because she's forgotten about them, even though I (and other family members) have reminded her several times and she promises that she'll remember.
She'll also invite me to do things at her house with her friends or housemates, and then tell me off for talking to them or sharing a joke with them because they're 'her' friends and I should 'watch how I behave' because I'm in 'her' house.
What do I do? Do I just stop seeing her at her house and only see her in public? It's really really getting me down.