to think that keeping a weapon under one's bed is futile?

[Barkybarkynutnut]

Just want to get others perspective on this. I have been surprised that quite a few of my friends have a weapon under their beds of some description of another! I never have even considered it. Am I foolish not to have something to hand to hit an intruder with? The thoughts of having to keep a baseball bat or something under the bed terrifies me!

I have a dog on the bed that would go for you if you laid a finger on me

I have a 24" side handle baton and if anyone came in here uninvited they would be fed to my pigs

My dad had a big fuck off hammer next to the bed. He said if he came down the stairs to burglars he wanted to make sure he wasn't empty handed. Also in the event of a fire the windows could be smashed easily. I've toyed with the idea to be fair as most opportunistic burglaries are wee junkie scum who are scared of their own shadows!

Having had the pleasure of accidentally confronting a burglar, I still have no idea what I would do if there was another one. What I did last time was repeatedly described to me as 'bloody stupid' but it wasn't intentional, I yelled and then lunged to grab the bag of my stuff, I was outraged at the fucking cheek of it, just utterly furious that some little shit had the audacity to be in my house stealing from me. I was lucky on two counts: 1) I'm very large, I'm 6ft 2 and not at all slight with it and have given more than one person a fright as I've mindlessly stomped after the dogs in the woods and 2) it was actually a little shit, a young opportunist who got scared and bolted.
What if it had been someone who was happy to stab me? Or, more rarely, shoot me? What if I just hadn't seen his mate and they decided to beat the crap out of me? Or worse.
We do have a weapon in the bedroom technically, although it's just a baseball bat usually used for baseball surprisingly enough. I'm not so keen, I've got more cautious as I've got older and would only ever fight back now if my dc were in danger (to what success is anyone's guess, although I'm handy enough) and am otherwise sanguine on things being looted, but my DH's point is that most will run, we're more likely to get burglars who know the game's not worth the candle and will just scarper and try another place so by creating an impression of home owner on the warpath will encourage that to happen more quickly. Thankfully our arguments are nothing but hypothetical and long may it stay that way.

I wouldn't but I work with older people - I got called out in the early hours to a woman in her 80's. She was very shaken as she'd woken up to find a man crawling around the side of her bed trying to grab her handbag.

While we were waiting for the Police to arrive I was chatting with her and it became apparent that she'd beat him so hard across his back and head with her walking stick, screaming her head off, that he started crying and ran out empty handed. She was great .

Oh god, are you all in cities?

I don't understand the "phone the police and hide" advice

Hide where? Under the quilt? Just leave the DCs in their bedroom and hope the intruder doesn't go in there?

We have a narrow steep staircase which creaks like anything. I wake up to any noise so a burglar would find himself at a disadvantage trying to get to the top of the stairs with me swinging a bat at him.

Phone the police after they've gone, have you tried calling them during an emergency? It would take at least 20mins for them even to get to my house.

Alongside a bat I have a knife under my bed. It's my "fruit peeling knife" for legal purposes, I eat a lot of fruit in bed

I quite like the idea of being a street hardened mafioso though, maybe I'll start keeping my flensing knife taped to the headboard. It's only mouldering away anyway, what with not buying many whales for the Sunday roast. Then I could exude danger, have well groomed eyebrows and smoke exotic tobacco with a fancy cigarette holder. I could have expensive clothes and not smell of wee. I'm getting quite keen on this idea.

I don't think the pigs are in a city. Unless pigs are the new chickens!

hide behind the door?

I have six very noisy dogs who bark at anyone approaching the gate and sound like the hounds of hell - the little disabled one really has a deep bay too. All of them are capable of going for someone and very protective; I usually have a minimum of three on the bed and one on the floor as well as one by the front door. I'm rural so there's no outside light and a lot to fall over as well as torches being seen easily. A friend in Glasgow has a bedside panic button for her house alarm and I've considered that too though the police reckoned the dogs were the best deterrent . I have found that I've left the doors unlocked occasionally so I do check them now.

I have to agree I have a baseball bat by the side of my bed.

The way I see it if your chosen profession is burglary then a hazard of that profession is meeting a very big bloke with a bat and being very lucky to leave his house alive.

put pillows under duvet, intruder bends down to check you, whack them over head with metal object, while down hit them again.
Get DC & run out. I think I watch too many action films.

When I lived in a flat on my own I had a really big paper weight hidden next to my bed for protection.

When I lived in a flat on my own I had a really big paper weight hidden next to my bed for protection.

I don't have anything although I may actually reconsider after reading this. Probably not the OPs intention!
I used to live in a really rough block of flats and when my bf used to stay away with work (about once a week usually) I used to double lock and chain the door and then wedge a scaffolding bar against the door and the wall so there was no way anyone was getting in. Not that anyone ever tried getting in mind, but the things I used to hear on the stairwells terrified me.

It's never entered my head. Didn't realise it was a thing. I feel very safe in everyday life.

Starlala your police officer friend is not entirely correct.
The law talks about "having (offensive weapon) with you..in any public place" so not possessing nor owning and not in a dwelling.
You don't need a reason to have a baseball bat in your house

If you do have a bat or similar, might be wise to make sure you actually have room to swing it in your room or landing.
My escrima sticks are 26", which is smaller than a baseball bat, and are incredibly hard to use in a confined space.

When I was in uni I used to keep my flute case under the bed; anyone who's ever had a Yamaha flute will know the hard case could do some proper damage if hit over someone's head (well, I never actually tested the theory...).

I have a personal alarm since Ddog died.

My dp has a bat on his side and i have a knife to hand on my side. If someone comes in my house with my family and pets i don't care what happens after - there's nothing i wouldn't do to protect us. I also think most burglars probably carry weapons themselves now anyway so i'm not worried about them taking mine to use it - im sure they already have that covered. My dog would definitely bite an intruder too but i would be scared they would stab her. Aaaaargh i can't even think about it - burglar would be going down as fast as possible. Then i would call the police - wouldn't be worried if there was as long a delay as possible in making that call which left burglar worse off. Health wise.

We have an aluminimum baseball bat under the bed in DH's side. No idea how we think this scenario would play out illegally but it's always been there for some reason.

I don’t need a weapon under my pillow. If an intruder came into my home they’d only have to spend five seconds listening to my kids scream/whine/talk/fart/be generally annoying (and yes this is in the dead of night) Before they’d think “fuck this” and turn around.

Also, we have an alarm. Any weapon my children would find and probably -use on me hurt themselves with