AIBU to say adult DD cannot have a pet?

[HiWorld]

I honestly have no idea if I'm being unreasonable!

DD (19) lives at home (full time job) and would like a hamster. She had hamsters as a kid and never cleaned them out and it was always left to me, swore never again. She says it was because they were from pet shops and they were not handled properly by them so used to bite. She says she has researched breeders who handle them from babies. However, I still can't imagine her cleaning it out! I don't want that stinking out her room!

Plus, we have cats!! She says she can shut her door and thinks her room is her space... I do agree but the reality is, is till her final say, right?

She did want rats but I wouldn't even be able to look at them

@TurquoiseChevrotain

Jesus Christ. Of course I dont mean hamsters, in their essence, are infantile.

I mean a 19 year-old adult living at home despite having a job and asking for permission to have a pet, and their mother debating whether they're grown up enough to remember to clean a cage out.

What about saving for a mortgage? I think theres more to life than saving for a mortgage at the age of 19, namely experiencing the world of flatshares, getting used to living independently (in rented housing when you're generally not allowed to have pets btw) and just growing up really. You have your whole life ahead of you to save for a mortgage.

@splendidisolation lol guess I'm doing it all wrong then. I'm 18, live at home and have been saving for my mortgage since I got my job. I'm not wasting money on rent.

I would let her have the hamster. I think it’s a lovely a 19 yr old girl wants a rodent. I was a pony girl myself.

There are all kinds of accessories for hamsters now - those balls and they can travel about inside tubes. Like was said upthread, they use a jam jar as a loo.

@Slimthistime "out partying" bit of an assumption... Not everyone enjoys that. And a hamster doesn't need to be looked after for a couple of hours

OP, tbh, my mum wouldn't let me get a pet, but I'd let her... We have 2 cats though and I like one of them in my room, so it wouldn't work.

@TurquoiseChevrotain
Thats your business turquoise and good luck to you.

Trouble is, a lot of landlords don't allow pets, so it might be even more difficult for her to move out once she's got one!

Goodness, we've just had the same conversation about a 8 year old who proved us all wrong and is an excellent hamster keeper. I can't actually belive that you would think your 19 year old isn't responsible enough to keep a hamster cage clean! You don't have to like the hamster or think anything about it really. It wont affect you in the slightest. It seems a bit controlling to decide she's incapable and not allow it.

@KatherinaMinola - unless she is saving for her own place...

I would say it depends a lot on how clean she keeps her room in general now. If it is a shit pit, then no. If she keeps it clean and tidy, then it is worth a try, as she has researched it and seems to really care!

It'll give the cats something to dream about.

Has she done her research on hamsters?

In particular

• the cages from pet shops are not big enough. They require a minimum 80x50cm floorspace cage such as a Zooplus Alaska or Barney. The cages sold in Pets at Home are not suitable, regardless of what they claim.
• wheel sizes - dwarves need a 20cm diameter wheel, Syrians a 28cm diameter wheel else they will damage their spines
• the importance of deep, good quality bedding such as Fitch
• not all hamster foods are created equal - you need a good quality mixture such as Harry Hamster or Science Selective. Wagg and other supermarket brands are not suitable
• fluffy bedding (the sort that resembles cotton wool and is widely sold in pet shops) can kill a hamster - you're best off using ripped up loo roll as nesting material
• hamsters must gnaw things to keep their teeth worn down. Wooden chews are often ignored. Whimzee dog chews are excellent.
• other things needed include a hide, sand bath and various toys

Nothing infantile about keeping hamsters - while they're often thought of as children's pets, their needs are also largely ignored and they're widely neglected.

The other factor is - she's 19. Hamsters live 2-3 years. What happens when she wants to move out and the landlord won't take the hamster?

Yes, Turquoise, but how long's that going to take? (The hamster will probably be dead by then.)

I agree about the landlord too. If she moves out I bet she'll leave it with you!

Turquoise, it was just an example, one poster said travelling, you didn't query them?

My point was, it would be a pain for the op to get stuck hamster sitting.

Firstly, your home so your rules (ish - but in this case I think it does apply).

But really, does she realise what a racket they make at night?? They will run for hours and hours on those blasted wheels...

I couldn't cope with the noise when my girls had hamsters.

@KatherinaMinola - well, depends how much she spends, doesn't it? Also depends on the area she lives in, etc.

I'm only part-time (am studying too) and save every bit of my wages each month and almost have enough for a deposit, I've only been working part time 2 years.

And no I don't mean literally stuck, lol.

@HolgerDanske times have changed, you can get silent wheels.

@Slimthistime missed that I say the same to them! Hate all these assumptions that teens want to piss all their wages away.

But it's a hamster, it must take all of three minutes to muck out each day.

No hamster and I'll tell you why.
She's out at work all day and 19 so has a social life.
That's a crap life for a hamster, being in a cage getting some food popped in every day and occasionally mucked out.
Selfish moo.

Oh really? That's cool!

Anyway, I don't think hamsters make particularly good pets, they aren't really geared toward lots of contact, are they?

Rats are much better. So intelligent and so social.

HolgerDanske - not if they have a good quality wheel (e.g. wooden Trixie, Silent Runner, Wodent Wheel) that's of the correct size (20cm diameter for dwarves, 28cm diameter for Syrians)

I'd love rats ❤️ let her get rats OP

How do you toilet train a hamster????

Oh...and yeah...your house so if you don't like the idea of a pet then say no!