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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want partner to come back

9 replies

charley30 · 25/09/2017 21:48

Long story short . He's never been able to show love or emotional support . Our whole relationship is false . He sits on his own in a different room . He has never done anything for my children just me . He promised to look after me when I was ill he didn't he went back to work . His father was in hospital and just last week I heard a mouse or something like in the house . Instead of helping out he decided to staying in his fathers house while he was in hospital leaving me and my 2 children at home . Just because he could not sleep and needs to go to work . I felt abandoned and had to deal with the stress of this on my own including asking neighbours to come and lift the things . There were 2 . Son won't sleep in room now and I had my sons birthday so had to organise that . I asked for help with money for presents and what I needed . No he couldn't help . I asked for money for football lessons . No he couldn't do it . I was putting washing away when I discovered he'd bought himself all new clothes . Aghhh I am holding things together . The final straw has been the text messages to my son and nothing to me . He is 10 . I feel so let down and have wasted sooo many years on this man . I am vulnerable but know I have felt a lot happier that he has been out of the house . It's all so hard . Today though iv been feeling down about it all and don't know where to turn . Iv just read my sons text message that his father would be getting out of hospital and back to his home tomorrow and I know that means he will expect to just come home without talking but just mooch of me for rest if his life and pretend to be super dad to our children when he has never done a thing to care for them . He will not leave out home . It is in my name but I feel scared today if I'm imagining all the distress he has caused me . I can see how uncaring he is when he dies not want to hel look after his father do will never be able to caring towards me . Help ??

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DJBaggySmalls · 25/09/2017 21:51

Dont feel guilty and dont give in, act now. You can change the locks and get help. Its your house and its your home.

Womens Aid can offer practical advice and support, including the Freedom program.
www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=CLTFlMWzgs8CFQaNGwod4qgDMQ

DJBaggySmalls · 25/09/2017 21:52

You might get some better advice if you ask Mumsnet to move this to Relationships.

charley30 · 25/09/2017 22:52

Thank you I'm faltering today ! I really think the way he has acted about his dad has cut any morsel of emotional attachment I had !

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charley30 · 25/09/2017 22:53

My fault maybe for posting in the wrong place x

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LuckLuckLUCK · 25/09/2017 22:55

I have felt a lot happier that he has been out of the house

There's your answer.

timeisnotaline · 25/09/2017 23:00

House is in your name - great! Change the locks , and call the police if he tries to come in. He can be super dad once a month or whenever he can be bothered.

charley30 · 27/09/2017 23:56

Thank you all . Iv had a rough couple of days . Finding it hard to remember the horrible times . And is this ok is this better than being on my own ? Though I know rationally it is not ok . It is dysfunctional and abnormal and I deserve better x

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DJBaggySmalls · 28/09/2017 00:59

the sudden change can be a it unexpected at first, you think its going to be all positive feelings of relief, but there's always a dose of 'what have I done, and why did I do it'. That will pass.
The first time he acts like an arse after the split you'll remember why you did it, and realise you are free.

charley30 · 29/09/2017 13:41

Thank you . I' know I have days im so strong and days I am scared as hell but I am trusting that all will work out for me in the end .

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