To not let ds play outside today?

[Horriblehistories]

I want to know if I'm being mean.

Ds 9yo wants to play in the garden which he does every day. It's raining, and the garden is a mud bath (because he's ripped up he grass with his footy boots). He keeps running in and out in and out trampling mud in, then his clothes get covered in it and he gets it over the sofa.

He constantly kicks the ball over the neighbours fences and over ours out onto the road. He's climbing over the fences when I've asked him not to.

On top of this I have a toddler that wants to follow him outside, and screams blue murder if he can't follow his brother. I need to do their dinner and some essential washing, loading dishwasher and can't leave the toddler unsupervised in the garden.

Plus he's thrown his uniform on the floor, won't do his homework

Take him to the local park, so he can let if some steam.

YANBU, if he's being naughty then this can be his consequence. Plus it's raining!

Sounds like he needs very clear rules, and sanctions for when he is playing outside - and what he needs to do before.

If he can't seem to do as he's told, then of course YANBU to not let him out there.

By the way I've just got in from work which is why I haven't got the house all straight and the dinner ready.

I can't take him to the park, I'm doing everyone's dinner and picking up everyone's mess, doing everyone's washing.

The consequence of not respecting the house rules (not running in and out in your muddy boots) is that you can't use the garden when it has been raining so no, YANBU.

He's stomped off so there's no talking to him. I wanted to say if he does his homework quietly and let's me get dinner on and have a tidy round, then he could have half an hour outside before we eat. But he flies off the handle when he's told no lately.

At 9 he's old enough to realise he shouldn't come in the house covered in mud, so YANBU to make him stay in today.

Actually though, I wouldn't let a 9 year old play football in the garden at all. It would drive me mad having them churn the grass up and breaking plants with the football. Plus it's really annoying for neighbours when the ball keeps hitting the fence. Isn't there a local park he can go to? When my DS was 9 him and his mates used to all meet up at the park to play football.

I have an 8 year old boy so I hear you loud and clear! We have a strict rule that if he's been in the garden then muddy trainers are taken off by the doorstep, otherwise no playing out for the rest of the day.
Last winter I banned him and his little mates from playing any football in our garden because they were destroying the lawn and it was far too muddy. But he does have a trampoline so he puts his waterproofs on and plays on that instead.

When he's calm later I'd explain that if he'd had the manners to listen to you you would have explained that x needed to be done then he could time outside. Let him see he's lost out because of his behaviour.
I'd also add if you could trust him out there alone then there wouldn't need to be a rule.

I find writing rules - so talk them through, explain why and agree them and putting them up visibly can help.

It can include things like 'school uniform must be put away before garden play'