Lifting at night

[GreenApples987]

Hi,

I'm posting here for traffic.

DH's been lifting our son (5.8 years old) at night for a wee while he sleeps (we don't wake him up for this) for a month now. We cut the drinks by 7-7:30pm, ask him to wee before going to bed (8:30ish) and DH lifts him for another wee around 11pm. Sometimes this routine works a charm and DS wakes up dry, but most of the time even after having a wee at 11, DS still wakes up wet, either in the middle of the night (2-3am) or very early in the morning (5-6am). It's been a constant with bed sets to wash nearly everyday and a grumpy child in the morning to do the school run(probably because of the bed wetting interrupting his sleep). We are all very tired and wondering if this is really the way to go to potty train him during the night.

Does anyone have a word of advice, please? We are feeling very tired and hopeless at this point.

A bit of background: we took DS off the night nappies and started the lifting mainly because the nappy was not holding the volume of wee anymore and he was already waking up wet during the night even wearing them.

Oddly this is very reassuring for me.

DS1 has just turned 6 and we haven't even attempted a night without a nappy (PJ pants age 5-7 - nappies just leak) and even then he'll have a run of 3-4 nights every so often where the pj pant leaks, there's so much wee.

We double sheet the bed (mattress protector, sheet 1, mattress protector 2, sheet 2) and also have put the potty near his bed just in case he doesn wake up in the night (it is rare, mainly he just goes as soon as he wakes).

He is producing such a large amount of urine that I know it's to do with hormone production (or lack of). We are now trying to make him drink more during the day. He never drinks much in the evening anyway.

my ds was still wetting at that age and I was really worried, so we lifted him, but you need to make sure he's awake so he knows what's he's doing, we used to wash his hands under the tap to help wake him up

He would also help with change the bed sheets which he didn't like to do, and make a connection between that and wetting. It seemed to work.

I wouldn't put him back in a nappy tbh, I think they need to knwk they are wet to break the cycle

And we limited drinks after dinner

Def disagree with the advice to seek help. DS has only just gone reliably dry at 6.5yrs. We had a few attempts at lifting etc but it didn't help and in the end we just waited it out. He'll get there.

I thought this was going to be about weight lifting.

My brother had issues with bedwetting, he wet until he was about 12, he just had to get to a point where he could "hold it," all night. My mom tried everything, but they just had to wait it out.

My son was like this. I took him to the doctor who gave him something to sniff each night - he said a hormone has usually kicked in by that age (7) but obviously it was late for my son. From the very first night of sniffing whatever it was, my son never wet the bed again. He had to use it for a month to make sure but was dry after that first night.

My DS was wetting at around 5 years old and we used an alarm, it worked within a month. I bought it from eBay I think, for about £35. Worth every penny!

My son had enuresis issues until he was 14!!

As mentioned above referral won't happen until they are about 7. This is to give them the chance for the hormone that suppresses the night wetting to kick in.

At that point they may put him on desmopressin ( trying different doses until he does not wet at night). At some point when he has been dry for a while they will try to wean him off. We had on/off accidents until DS was 14.

My top tips: (and as recommended by the enuresis clinic)

Buy 2 x White Company waterproof undersheets. They are a bit more expensive but definitely the best.

Your Ds should avoid fizzy drinks, squash etc and basically drink water if he will. Luckily DS would.

Try to get him to drink at least a litre of water before lunchtime. school would let him have a water bottle on his desk.

DS should obviously not be reprimanded but he should be involved in stripping the bed and putting them and wet pjs in the washing machine.

If he is thirsty in the evening do not prevent him for drinking. Sometimes the bladder will have the urge to empty a less full bladder because the urine is strong rather than urine that is ore watered down.

During sleepovers away we would mention to the parents about the issues and ask that he be allowed to have a glass of water by the bed so he could "accidentally" spill it in the event of an accident so his friend would be unaware what really happened.

Ours was a long old slog and it was very wearing to be stripping, washing, drying bedclothes etc basically every morning and it took a while for the medication to be at the right dose. and we had times when we thought he was fine and weaned off only to find the problem back a few weeks later.

6yo DD can't make it through the night (usually) either. Bedwetting team at hospital not interested until age 7-8 here.

She wears pants underneath a Huggies Drynites (age 4-7, but they also do 8-15). That means no having to change bedding which is a massive help, but she still feels the 'wetness'. She also wears a bedwetting alarm that clips to her pants and goes off if she begins wetting herself. The idea is that it wakes her and prompts her to run to the toilet. In practice, it wakes up DH, who wakes me, who goes and prods her to run to the toilet.

I also wake her to go to the loo when I go to bed (about 10-11). She's too heavy to 'lift' and in any case, I think it's better for her to be awake to wee, rather than doing it in her sleep. She goes straight back to sleep afterwards.

The bedwetting alarm is working really well. It has made her much more diligent about going to the loo in the evening when she's reading in bed before going to sleep. And she will occasionally wake to go to the loo in the night by herself (without the alarm going off) which never happened before. I think it's triggering her brain to notice the bladder-full sensation.

She's still a bit lazy about going to the loo when she wakes up in the morning - will lie in bed and read and wet herself. But we're working on that, and at least the alarm alerts me to know it's happening and do something about it.

You can buy the alarms on Amazon for about £25. I recommend them, along with a Drynites over the pants to avoid endless bedding changes.

Agree the GP won't do anything until 7, around 14% are still not dry at night until then (more boys than girls). I don't think there's much you can do until he's ready, but I'm watching with interest as ds will be 7 in November and still isn't dry at night (nowhere near). We too have tried all sorts - getting him to drink more during the day to strengthen his bladder, waking him for a wee, limiting fluids before bed etc. Nothing has worked. He sleeps so deeply that not even a wet bed wakes him.

The issues are three fold as I understand it. A child needs to produce the hormone that tells the brain the body must wake up as the bladder is full. Some children make excess urine at night and sleep too deeply to wait. This is exacerbated because the child's bladder is not strong enough. My ds doesn't drink enough during the day and never has, despite us encouraging him to. His bladder therefore doesn't fill much during the day and it's never had a chance to strengthen. Added to his deep sleep and lack of hormone production he just isn't ready, bless him.

Yes to the pj pants, to layering linen and waterproof pads. You won't get seen by enuresis clinic until he's 7.

I would also:

• increase the amount he drinks during the day to increase his bladder capacity
• make sure his wee is always pale straw colour
• cut out drinks after 6pm.

They may all help but ultimately, if he's not producing ADH yet, then he'll carry on weeing until he does

I too thought it was 7+ that not being night time dry would be investigated?

if he is dry it's because you've 'time trained him'. Bed wetting is very common but rarely talked about.

The nappies or night pants rarely hold the volume. They always bloody leak. Depending on how much he leaks I would either use washable bed pads or a fleece blanket in the bottom as a sheet. Helps with reducing the amount of washing.

5yrs is still very young, it's not his fault he needs to make a hormone called desmopressin to concentrate his urine this happens when his body decides to make the hormone. Nothing you can do to aid the process.

You need to be 100% sure he is not constipated. Parents are often unaware that their child is. Constipation means the bladder often is squeezed and doesn't have space to expand.

Fluid is the next thing, make sure he is drinking enough. Spaced through the day and no drinks 1hr before been No red drinks and choc drinks irritate the bladder.

In my area treatment starts at 7yrs and is bedwetting alarm, then adding a drug called desmo melt.

It's a long process I'd go to your GP to start it.

SorryI thought of lost my post but it's finally posted!

We lifted our DS when he was 2 for about a year and it worked a charm. By the end of that year if he needed to wee he got up but most of the time he slept (sleeps) through without weeing. He is now 7 and has wet the bed once ever.

I lift mine but I wake them first

Lifting only works if the child is fully awake when you do it.

Thank you everyone who took some time to share a word of advice!! I'll take it all on board and act! Many thanks again!!

Take a look at the website ERIC. He sounds like he’s just not ready. Ds was almost 9 years old by the time he was. GPS eon’t Refer until 7 years here and even then they ‘wait and see’ for a while. Personally I don’t give drinks after teatime and then it’s one wee before story etc and one after, even if it hardly produces anything. He’ll get there I promise but he’s still little at the moment. Buy him a size up in the nighttime pull ups.

No need to buy an alarm. The bed wetting Clinic will loan you one for free once he’s referred.

Agree with all above, but wanted to add that IMO he goes to bed too late. You mentioned him being very tired, I think 8:30 is really late for a 5 year old.

Enuresis clinic has been cut here because of funding issues. My eldest dc is nearly 10 and still has issues though thankfully it has really reduced over the last year.

GP just tested urine for uti and printed off a page from the Eric website.

A bed wetting alarm did really help her though it's quite loud & unpleasant for them so they have to want to use it and be motivated to get dry.

GP also offered the dem-something medication for particular events/occasions. Haven't used that yet but may do for school residential if she's still not reliably dry.