So, a friend of mine has been in a relationship for some years with a man who has a 10 yo daughter. They have her EOW and one day per week.
Holidays are split between the parents, they have her 2 weeks in summer and one in fall. Easter holidays she spents with her maternal grandparents (they live in a different country). Christms holidays everybody stays at home so she can celebrate with everybody (Mother, father, fathers parents, mothers new partners parents).
Since her fathers work is really slow in January/February, my friend and him went to the canary islands for 3 weeks every year without her, then a holiday in a childfriendly place in summer and fall with his daughter.
They had a baby together last year, so didn't go. Now she wanted to book for next year, and he refuses, stating that it is utterly unfair to go on a holiday with the baby when his daughter can't come (she has school, obviously) and that he does not want her to feel left out.
I suppose I can see both sides, of course he does not want her to feel left out, but on the other hand she also goes on vacations with her mom and her partner, she stays at the grandparents place, etc. so she gets to do a load of stuff that her brother does not get to do.
Who is being unreasonable here?
What is "normal" for step-families?