Aibu - Waking partner up

[Flatt7]

Well, obviously i'm up at 3am after tossing and turning for ages.

Went out of bedroom and to an adjacent room to get water. Crept out of the bedroom in the dark and turned the light on in the adjacent room to, ya know, see.

Came back to bed and partner is pissing and moaning I woke him. He came back after a long trip yesterday and I made a big welcome effort with cleaning, cooking, tea on tap, etc. Feels like he hasn't appreciated of it...just been called selfish and unthinking.

Aibu to be fuming!?

You would not be my friend if you did that to me.

Also lol at you thinking you did him a favour by tidying up while he was away. You live there. He wasn't there. You can not use that against him.

Has noone else here heard of the term pissing and moaning? We use it too.

Anyway, I always have a sistema bottle of water by my bedside (it keeps the water cooler overnight), so no need to get up for that. We have a dim wall lamp on all night at tthe top of the stairs, so if anyone needs to go upstairs at night, there's enough light without switching on ceiling lights.

The stair light also gives enough light to the hall so I could get to the kitchen at night, where I then switch on the 25w light above the stove, which gives just enough light and can't be seen in the living room which is where DH and I sleep.

If I'm restless I have my tablet on with the blue light filter turned to 80 to 90%, with white text on black background if I'm reading, and headphones 🎧 if watching or listening to anything. All this creates minimal light and disturbance in the room.

The point of all this being that it's both possible and considerate to get up in the middle of the night, without waking another sleeping person.

You were both being a little unreasonable here, but I'm guessing you were both tired at 3am.

You can't hold it over him that you did some housework and cooked for his return and he should be able to cope with the occasional disturbance at night without being rude to you. You are both adults!

If however you are often up in the night you need a strategy to get up or settle yourself back to sleep without disturbing anyone (This comes from someone who struggles to sleep on occasion too).

I'm on your DH's side on this. That would piss me off as well.

My DH woke me up at the crack of dawn on Saturday after I'd been telling him the night before how exhausted I was and desperate for sleep.
I was not fucking happy. It was my day off FFS.

My partner and I have a rule whereby anything short of murder is permissible in response to being woken up in the night.

I don't think alcohol changes my personality, but being yanked out of my precious sleep turns me into a raging bastard, and I literally have no control over it. He's the same, so we're on the same wavelength.

He also does that thing where he sets his alarm for a ridiculously early time at the weekends intending to 'get things done' destroying my only lie ins of the week it's a wonder I haven't killed him. Oh, and he thinks that 'cuddling' me when he comes in to bed after staying up working til 3 is nice, except it wakes me up and on Weds I went to training on 3hrs sleep because he woke me up like that.

I almost murdered my husband a couple of weeks ago when he woke me up at 1am by using his insanely bright flashlight to look for a t-shirt he hadn't seen for a while, not because he wanted to put it on, just because he was wondering "what happened to it."

I wanted to tear his fucking head off.