To cut a friend out of my life?

[woofsaysthecat]

Met at uni, very full on when we were in Halls.

Both moved away. She got married, I missed it because I had emergency surgery two days before. She was pissed- we got

She got pregnant and from then on it just went from bad to worse. She had the baby and I found out via Facebook. I went over to see her after she passively aggressively mentioned I should probably show my face.

Her DH was so rude- 1.5 hours drive and no offer of tea, that’s fine. I was there probably 2 hours and was only there that long because every time I tried to leave she kept talking. He didn’t leave the room it was just very awkward.

Months pass and we agree to try again I apparently was too wrapped in my own life to understand how hard it was to have a baby and be pregnant.. fine.

I had a cancer scare this year- related to pregnancy and needed chemotherapy, I got a photo of her baby every day despite it being so bloody hard to deal with that I had lost mine and had developed cancer. This was so painful it’s unreal

I was meant to see her recently and I couldn’t make it. I had to drive to her again as she couldn’t meet half way with a baby or come to me. I understand her being upset but the last thing we spoke about was just her being passive aggressive again about how much of a shitty friend I was. We haven’t spoken since August. And I’m not sure if I want to retry.

I feel sad we’re not talking but also the more I think about it the more I feel like we just weren’t meant to be friends for this long?

She keeps talking to you about what you do wrong, and what a 'shitty friend' you are, mabey time to stick up for yourself and tell her some home truths op, as she clearly needs to hear it.

Good Lord! Get rid of her!

Sorry you've been through that OP .

A friend would be supporting you. She's no friend of yours and I think to be honest you've already persevered more than I would have.

She's the kind of friend you can definitely do without, OP. She sounds very self-absorbed to say the least.

She is an awful person never mind an awful friend. Please be kind to yourself and stop having anymore contact with this woman.

Get rid of her.

what highonpanic says. Does this friend have any redeeming qualities?

Thank you, I think I’ll just leave it as it is. Not contact her and move on :)

I had a molar preg, really messes with your head when you're grieving and having tests. Sorry to hear you had to have treatment too.

Genuine people would understand that you were in a really tough place and thought of you. She really is no friend and no loss.

Best wishes for future health and happiness

She sounds awful. She's no friend.

Im sorry for all you've been through.

Why would you want to be her friend?! I'm sorry but I don't get why you would want to see her - she sounds properly shitty!

Tell her to go fuck herself basically

If she only contacts you to send you on some sort of weird guilt trip I'd let her get on with it TBH!

Haha it’s genuinely been a massive wake up call. I cannot understand why I’ve wasted so long.

Thanks all for giving me the kick up the arse I needed to get some self respect and cut her out.

I can’t think of anything positive if I’m honest. I’ve wasted so much time on her

She sounds like a self-absorbed, Grade A dipshit

Couldn't have phrased it better myself!

I would go further than just not contacting her I would be blocking her on any means of communication you share! She has not only been a horrible friend to you but a horrible person in general! Yes in life things happen and maybe she is going through her own things too! But to constantly needle at you (sending pics of her dc when you were going through such a shitty time) or to berate you for not being there for her when she is being so unfeeling is a horrible thing to do. Best course of action is just to block and carry on with those that care about you, don't engage any further there is nothing you can say to someone like that, that she won't try and turn back on you!

Friendships for reasons, seasons or lifetime....... you've outgrown each other. This happens. Feel no guilt........ move on

As the song goes "now you're just somebody that I used to know."

I'd tell her to go to the far side of fuck off and then when she gets there to fuck off some more!!

Sorry for the hard time you've been through she's a shit friend, you don't need the passive aggressive bullshit.

If she has the audacity to call you up, and rant about you being a shit friend(which you have not), ask her how she has been a good friend to you. What she has done to help and support you. That will make it awkward for her.

I understand her being upset but the last thing we spoke about was just her being passive aggressive again about how much of a shitty friend I was. We haven’t spoken since August. And I’m not sure if I want to retry.

writing's on the wall in six feet high letters, might as well read it.

@SeaEagleFeather I know. I won’t be bothering again.