To advise DD not to help friend with HW

[TheMathsTrainee]

DD's friend asked her to scan the HW sheet and email her. DD needed my help to use the scanner, so she put the worksheet in and when the scan came up on the screen, I saw that she had scanned in the worksheet complete with her answers. So I said, you should send her the blank sheet without your answers, to which she replied 'it's ok, I trust her...' plus she doesn't have a blank version.

I explained that I'm fine with her helping her friend by scanning in the HW sheet but not happy for her to volunteer the answers. In addition, HW is set so that the person learn by actually doing it, so she is not helping her friend by giving her the answers (which may or may not be correct).

It's not the first time I've seen it happen, e.g. someone asked in the chat group to the whole class about a tricky science question and she happily volunteered the answer (replied to the whole class) and thought nothing of it.

Now she is in a grump with me because I'm making her 'let her friend down'. I feel bad not only because she's in a grump, but wondering whether AIBU to impart my 'cynical' (that word maybe too strong but I can't think of another one) world view to her, and that I should just be happy that she is a kind and sweet girl (she is 12).

I will probably get flamed for my bad parenting.

I wouldn’t let DD share HW answers. Missing sheets, questions, instructions - yes. Actual answers - No way.

Also if DD’s school got wind of her sharing answers she might get in trouble so another reason why not.

It’s one thing to help friends. It’s another to do the work for them.

I mean, I get where you’re coming from but realistically, all kids copy homework occasionally and ultimately if this girl doesn’t really get the exercise and suffers for it at exam time that’s not really your problem. The only person you’re really hurting here is your DD - social relationships at school require tricky navigation and you won’t really know the possible damage you could be causing by forcing your DD to let down her friend. Obviously in an ideal world, friendships wouldn’t be based on such exchanges but the fact is, they are, and in my experience negotiating those elements of growing up is harder than the academics - I was very upset when my parents made it more difficult for me because they could never understand what an impact it could make on my daily life.

Thanks for the replies. Just want to say that DD navigated this quite well and with good humour on both sides, so there was no falling out. DD just told her friend jokingly that sorry she couldn't help, that she should ask the teacher for a blank worksheet '..because Mum is worried about you plagiarising me or something....'