Tit for tat

[doingitallagaintoday]

I'm curious

After yet another argument with "d"p about chores, if your partner does this...

This morning I stayed in bed, after rushing around for 3 weeks without a break, I told Ds (5) he wasn't swimming today as I really needed to rest.

Partner got up and said he was making dinner, he piled all the washing up from the dinner I cooked last night onto the side, and swept the floors, and made breakfast. He didn't speak to me at all while we ate. Nor at any point of the morning except when to say he was making breakfast.

After I went back and lay in bed for another half an hour before showering, doing all the washing and working on second job, he was also working on second job in this time.

After I'm done I play with ds, later dinner gets mentioned, I say one of us should wash up and the other cook, he refuses!

Every time he does this "I'm not doing it, I cleaned and cooked while you just lay in bed this morning"

Every single time!

He can't take rubbish out on his way to work because "I leave earlier and have to travel on dangerous roads and risk my life" (rides a 125cc)

I have got to the point where I hate him. We've had an argument because clearly I don't see what he's saying as fair, I've done a lot too.

After leaving at 9am yesterday morning, returning at 1pm, cleaned until 3pm (he helped but this is used as to why he should t cook because apparently he cleaned better than me) I then sat down and he called me lazy!!

This isn't normal is it!

Look, you don't like each other, do you? You don't work as a team. You're both resentful.

What keeps you together?

Get out. Life to short to live with someone you hate

I find that when it gets to this point you just have to vent what you've just said to your partner. I would suggest a reasonable conversation but I usually end up being very emotional.we decided what jobs we didn't mind and which ones we hated and then worked from there.

How messy is your house? All that tidying and cleaning.

Sounds like you just get on each others nerves. The atmosphere must be miserable.

The atmosphere is miserable at the moment, he thinks anything domestic is women's work, thinks because he earns more money he doesn't have to help at home because he already works so hard for "us pains" I am exhausted! But I'm not allowed to be because as he put it yesterday "how can you be tired, you're only 25!"

After I work 50 hours, homeschool ds, take him swimming and did all domestic chores last week,

It sounds like you are both trying to squeeze too much in and resentful that it isn't possible. Take somethings off the schedule and communicate.

I've said I hate dh before. I don't. Everyone is different and to someone else that would be the end of the relationship.

How do you you work 50 hours a week AND homeschool?

@MrsMHasIt honestly, I feel that I have to squeeze so much in and in less time, when I come home from work he's usually led in bed while I try and cook and clean and sort the washing, I can't help but be resentful! Especially as the only day that I've done it he's used it as a tool against me.

The problem is communicating doesn't happen, because he thinks that it's over now, there's no reason to talk, just to move on! When I make a point about what happened he says I'm in a fantasy and none of it is real!

Can I ask why you are homeschooling?

50 hours work and homeschooling? Where does child go when you are working? How many hours does DP work?

I don't know how you even fit in 50 hours and homeschool.

Do does 40 hours, ds is with me, I'm a nanny

Are you home schooling the children you are minding as well?

@mickeysminnie no, they're only young, 2 year old and soon a new born too

Why are you choosing to homeschool? Are you getting in enough educating? I'm assume you work 10 hours a day 5 days a week.