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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect more from this friendship?

2 replies

Sandintoes · 24/09/2017 18:30

We moved to this area 18mths ago and I joined the local gym. At the time I didn't know anyone so I was pleased when a lady approached me and suggested another exercise class. Since then we have been going to aerobics together twice a week. We get on really well but although I have invited her in for a coffee after the class she has always declined. She has never invited me back to her house. In addition to the class we sometimes go walking together and we have had a few evenings out socially. However I have begun to realise that it is always me that instigates these other things and she never suggests we do anything other than go to the gym. I am getting fed up of always being the one to arrange doing something else. My question is should I accept that she just sees me as a gym buddy and be happy at that? I just feel that I am putting more into the friendship than she is.

OP posts:
Manorbier · 24/09/2017 19:58

I understand your plight as I've had similar scenarios but anyone if you look at this objectively is entitled to draw boundaries wherever they wish

Fluffysparks · 24/09/2017 19:59

It's great that you get on so well, just stop initiating things and wait for her to make the next move. Perhaps all she sees you as is a gym buddy, but I think just withdrawing a little will help you tell. Is she particularly shy?

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