To feel uncomfortable when colleague touches me

[Mercutioandtybalt]

I'm not suggesting it is a sexual thing at all.

My colleague is not British and so it is possibly a cultural thing or just she is more touchy feely then me but she keeps rubbing my thigh, shoulder and back. I could JUST stomach shouler and back but my thigh seems quite intimate.

How can you nicely ask someone to stop it? Her english isn't great either!

What the hell?

Tell her to stop it and bat her hand away. Why would you be nice about it?

Or don't get close enough to let it happen in the first place.

Just say “oi! Personal space!” And smile.

The job involves some driving, Alternative

I really, really don't think she means anything bad. I don't want to be nasty but I do need to firmly set boundaries.

I'd not cope with back or thigh from anyone but partner/ children. Tell her nicely you appreciate she's comfortable with you but you need a bit more space!

Google how to say stop touching me I don't like it in her language. Say it in English first, then refer to your print off if she doesn't get it. I'm afraid I'd freak out and speak to management otherwise, nobody touches me unless given my permission. I'm not a touchy feely person

Thanks subtle I will do that.

It isn't about offending her but upsetting her. She is finding the job tough.

I am probably massively British but I would feel very uncomfortable if anyone other than close friends and family touched me at all without asking. Would make me recoil in horror!!

I don't like it peanut but i put up with shoulder/back. When she rubbed my thigh instinct was "get the fuck off me" but wanted to be politer.

Ha ha yes British enough to hate anyone touching you and yet British enough to not say anything for fear of being impolite!!

Just tell her she is invading your personal space. If you don't tell her, she cannot know.

Try saying you don't want to upset or worry her, just make her aware that British people do not like being touched that much. That it is particularly important in a work situation.

Rub her thigh and see what happens
On a serious note. People aren't aware of personal space. I've been quite rude to people in shops before, because they are too close to me and I don't like it!!!

You don't need to explain. Keep it a clear "I really don't like being touched." And change the subject

She did it again and this time I used subtles line. She laughed and went to grab my leg again and I said really firmly "no, really, I am not comfortable with that, please."

Thank you MN!

Did my ex-colleague come and work with you? Used to creep me out big time, fortunately we didn't work together long - I moved teams and then she left the dept altogether.