To think that above a certain point, obsessing about football is just an excuse for being lazy, unambitious and drinking too much!

[rOsie80]

"I can't go out, the football's on
I can't drive tomorrow, there's a big game tonight
I know I said I'd do it, but the football's on"
I'm tired, and got work tomorrow, but I'll not go to bad until I've drunk 6 cans of tramp lagar and watched this shitty football match.
I can't take my child to the park, so will instead let them be really f*cking bored while I watch tv
I'll constantly talk about all the things I want to do with my life and bemoan things I never got around too while wasting on average 3 hours a day watching shitty football..."

I mean, let's face it, beyond being a social currency for many men, it doesn't really take much effort to become a fan does it!

Can't imagine there's many gravestones reading "I wish I'd spent less time with my family and more time watching football" - I truly hope not anyway!

Can we group these sort of fans along with those who spent the same amount of time watching reality tv and aspiring to look like a kardashian (whatever the f*ck one of those is!)

YABU. You simply have an unsatisfactory partner.

Plenty of people take an avid interest in football and manage not to be obnoxious and plenty of couples with differing interests manage respect and compromise.

I love football and watch my team whenever i can but it isn't my priority in life. My family come first. Sorry if you have a knob of a dh OP

YABU - the problem is the people in your life who act like this, not football

Yabu. And I don't even like football! But then again I can appreciate we all like different things, whereas you seem to be looking down on people who do like it.

LOL I have a season ticket for the football. So does my daughter, so we go together as a family :)

Its not the football that's your problem. Its you DH

In your partner's case, it sounds like you think your partner is "lazy, unambitious and drinks too much". Those are your problems right there, nothing to do with football.

I know you're going to say "Jesus, I was being LIGHTHEARTED, does no one else ever want to just moan about their useless partner who they nevertheless love very much, letting off steam, lots of good qualities, fantastic father, blah blah blah" but I honestly and truly think you should leave this relationship.

Not because your partner is a terrible person (I have no data on which to judge that) but because of the way you spoke about him - with CONTEMPT.

Contempt is the absolute death-knell of a relationship. It's the emotion you can't row back from - once one party has treated the other with contempt, it signifies that something is so deep-down wrong with their interactions that it can't really be fixed.

Cut your losses, OP. Dump this person and find someone who's values and actions more closely align with your own.

Liking football is nothing to do with ambition or motivation. Oh and LTB

Dh is a football fan and watches it when it's on tv/puts it on the radio/gets notifications on his app thing but he's nothing like the person you're describing in your op. It doesn't take that much of his time and he doesn't ever use football as a get out clause for things such as family/days out/being a parent etc. I assumed most footie fans were similar. In short, op, I disagree with you. Your partner may use it as an excuse to get out of or avoid the things you mention but most don't.

Where I live it's an excuse for sectarianism

I love football. Me and my son will watch together as he loves it too. I don't drink alcohol. And I'm not lazy. (But I would love to look like a kardashian and check up on what clothes and make up they are wearing).

Yabu

Sorry your husband is a twat, but it's not footballs' fault.

And I bloody hate football.

I have many football fans who are family and friends. They watch the football matches at the stadium and watch football in TV. Neither drink whilst doing so, spend time with their families and are very ambitious. Not sure who you are referring to but they have much deeper routes issues causing their 'laziness' than football.

A lot of men simply don't like family time. If it wasn't football it would be something else.

You need to make sure you don't choose one but looks like you already have. Was he not into football before you married him!

Btw, I like reality TV. Gives me a chance to think about nothing when I love an incredibly stressful life (I have two disabled children), so I find your comments quite offensive to be honest.

DH is a football fan. He's also an engaged, loving family man and doesn't drink too much.
I think it may be your partner who is the issue here.

I take my kids with me to the football. I don't drink whilst they're with me.

I watch footy on the tv... I don't need a beer to enjoy it. ..

The football is the excuse.. the beer is the problem.

I agree that this is a personal problem.

However I do think that if WC and lower MC men studied Politics and actually listened to it, in the way they do Football, there would be riots and protest Marches and we'd be living in a very different country.

I live in Liverpool, so Football is a big part of a lot of people's lives.

DH is middle class, takes a keen interest in politics and likes football!

For many younger men it is an excuse for laddishness- which I hate.

YABVU. If people are dicks, they're dicks. You can't group them all together; everyone's allowed a passion.

Sounds like you need to choose better people to hang around with.

I know someone who has used it as an excuse for domestic violence and another who uses it as an excuse for self indulgent bad moods and tantrums when 'his' team loses.

I strongly dislike football because it is so often used as an excuse for forming mobs, violence, aggression and destruction of property but, realistically, without football, I think those people would just find another excuse for their appalling behaviour.

Football isn't the issue so don't get hung up on the detail there. It's an interest just like any other. If your DH/DP was an avid stamp collector and it impacted on the family you would have exactly the same issue.

It would be great if you had a shared interest in football and you went to matches as a family, similarly it's healthy for your DH/DP to have some interests which are just for him and you should have some of your own. There is a certain point where it becomes unhealthy however, regardless of the interest/hobby you're dealing with, and it needs some thought. I don't like the idea of one partner in a marriage or relationship seeking to prevent the other from doing things outside of the family because that is possessive and it breeds resentment, but you need to think about how much time is reasonable and how much of an impact on the family you are willing to accept. If he has a season ticket and goes to home games every other week and watches a televised game when it suits everyone else, I would say that's not a problem. If everything has to take a back seat and be organised around his club's fixture list and the Sky TV schedule at all costs it's clearly a problem. There is an acceptable middle ground in there somewhere and everyone will have a different idea of what is acceptable. You need to clearly define yours and have a discussion about what is reasonable and what isnt.