To send an email complaint after music lesson

[TribbleWithoutACause]

So, basically I have been considering sending ds1 (7) to music lessons. Having had a bit of a think, I thought maybe drums was the way to go. So I Googled local teachers and came across one who stated on the website that they taught my sons age group. Simple email exchange where I asked about prices, availability and we were invited for a trial lesson.

So we went, and the guy basically spent the entire lesson telling me how unsuitable my sons age group were for lessons. That he only does the trials in case the child is a drumming prodigy etc etc. He taught my son a basic rythm, but it was so boring, he didn't attempt to make it fun or interesting or even share his passion for music. He basically spent the entire time telling me how pointless it was to teach my child's age group, as we left the guy said 'I've got another child coming in a minute, I expect it will be the same thing again.'

Now I'm not expecting my child to be the next superstar, but I wanted him to learn and have fun. Music is important, and I wanted him to have the opportunity to play something, even if it's just for fun (my son did manage to get the rythm right a few times).

Argh, I'm so angry at this guy, he basically wasted my time, money and precious little energy.

Why on earth did he even bother inviting us along? I've come out the other end of the lesson feeling totally perplexed.

I want to send an email expressing as such, but should I even bother.

Aw, I would say send an email AND look for another teacher.

He needs telling. Just send it and let it go. He might not change but perhaps he has slipped into a disillusionsed rut and an email might just wake him up. Its worth doing just to let him know how you feel rather than expecting anything ot come of it.

Still find someone else though :) hope your son really enjoys his new hobby!

Ahhha I'm in my 40s and still sound a bit shocking 😉

Yes, often it's whether a child can follow instruction, but that's the same no matter what hobby you follow. I know some very mature 7 year olds and some really immature 14 year olds!

I needed help reading drum music and developing rudiments and bless him, my teacher puts up with a lot from me! However, when I started (in my teens) I taught most of it to myself. I sucked big time, but I was determined and practiced lots and, well, I surprised everyone. Now as an oldie, I'm doing my gradings but I've discovered a new found love for it (25 year break) It may not be his thing, I tried several instruments before discovering the drums, and honestly I can never see myself playing anything else now. I'm never going to be in the foo fighters, but I can knock out a decent rhythm, which I'm bloody well happy with.

In the beginning, it is basic rhythms and rudiments, a small amount of easy basic musical reading. It takes time and practice to develop the muscle memory needed, and hand and feet independence. This is absolutely the right age to start. Plus playing an acoustic kit kicks out a good bit of noise and they love it! If you are present during the lessons, I guarantee that you'll listen to music differently. The drummer is the key to the whole track, they are the metronome for all the other instruments.

I hope you find a great teacher for him!

If you are near SW london pm me and I can recommend a really good teacher!

May be start with the piano instead? I don't think drums are that useful (even though my son did it as an additional thing - he got grade 8. I am still housing the drum kit upstairs). Or the violin. I love the cello actually which my daughter played. Try that instead.

DD is 6 and has been having drum lessons for a couple of months. Her teacher is fabulous and she's loving it. We've bought her a full size electronic kit to practice on at home, so it's not too loud!

oldie if he wants to drum he's hardly going to find a piano or violin an appropriate substitute, is he? And useful? Useful for what?

oldie not everyone wants to play the piano. Or violin (my son plays violin and drums). Or the Cello. My gosh, there is nothing nicer than listening to orchestral music, but I rather think it's up to the child what they want to play.

It's a common misconception that percussion/drumming is non-technical or not demanding, or even proper music. I can assure you that it's anything but! It requires a great amount of skill and dedication to play. The 1812 overture would sound pretty limp if the percussionists were not included!

Anyway, the op wasn't questioning her child's musical tastes, but whether or not the teacher was out of order (yes) and completely unhelpful (gosh yes). It wouldn't have made any difference if the child was having piano, violin, singing, dance lessons etc etc. The teachers have to be pretty good at what they do and still be able to engage the pupils under their care!

I would leave brief and factual online reviews about this rubbish teacher. Quote him directly. What an idiot. Hope you find someone much better.

Mrsm, not so sure. If they had their way most children would never even attend school! Letting small children pick everything is often a recipe for disaster - they would eat chocolate for breakfast lunch and dinner and not have a bed time! Also we need many jmore cellists not drummers. Also if they are looking at music scholarships at 11+ to the next school picking a good orchestral instrument can be very helpful indeed. Also what parent wants to listen to drums morning noon and night (and I write this as a parent of a grade 8 drummer bless his little heart - he moved into his own house he bought last week but the drum kit is still here entirely filling one of my cupboards)....

I think you are projecting wildly Oldie and may need to start your own thread about your son's drumkit.

The world does not need more third rate cellists who would rather be playing the drums.

I live with 2 drummers and sometimes wish they loved the flute instead but it is what it is.

Oldie if you read my post again, you'll see I was clearly talking about musical hobbies, not everyday life 🤔

Last time I looked, percussion is clearly part of the orchestral setup - be it Drum Kit, Tuned Percussion, Snare Drum, Timpani and Orchestral Percussion. Sometimes, drum kit is a step to other percussion.

Even though I do not force my kids to play instruments or develop other hobbies, they do pick what they like to do. They've discovered hobbies that they love and yes dropped a few along the way.

They attend school and eat a varied diet.

Barbarian but the Op doesn't say he was desperate to play the drums. it says:
I have been considering sending ds1 (7) to music lessons. Having had a bit of a think, I thought maybe drums was the way to go
And it sounds like he was happy to go along with it, but might as well have been just as keen on another instruments.

Now other than this being a rather unusual decision as most parents are desperately trying to persuade them not to learn on both noise and space grounds , so I can see why if this came across when she contacted the drum teacher he might have reservations especially if he doesn't generally take them so young.

I think the beginning of drums is really hard if they're not totally on board. Ds spent around 6 months practicing half the time in thin air (the other half we sneaked into church and borrowed their set to practice) and I very much doubt if he'd not been really keen to learn that he would have had the patience for that. A lot of even keen young drummers seem to give up during that time ime.

The first lesson was pretty boring to listen to. "coffee coffee tea tea!!" on the snare drum. But ds was excited by the fact he was finally going to learn and was terribly enthused by doing it, even if he'd thought the first lesson would just be him sitting at the entire set and banging away. He could understand that he'd have to get through the boring stuff to play properly because he has older siblings playing other instruments that he's seen.

OP made no mention or cello, piano or violin either. I've never known a parent choose drums without some indication from the child that it's what they want to play.

Well to answer why I chose the drums, well I wanted a versatile instrument that my son could use in a lot of ways. Drums and percussion can be flexible in ways that other instruments aren't.

Additionally, there's a physicality to them that appealed to my very energetic boy. The noise and space issue didn't really factor (as my house is incredibly noisy anyway) and you can get electronic sets with headphones. I just wanted to give him a go at them and see what happened.