To think it is not my job to persuade to my dh to lose weight

[BWatchWatcher]

Here is the background.
Dh has been overweight for over 2 decades. He had quite a physical job and now does not.
Over the years we have tried different things, I cooked 5:2 meals for him, he would go for a walk in the evenings, I once paid for a gym membership and sessions with a personal trainer.
He does not like the gym or exercise and finds it boring. Fine, I can't make him like it. I can't make him change, he is an adult and needs to change himself.
My in laws are visiting, I went off to the gym.
Oh! They said as I was leaving, you should get DH to go with you. No, I said, I have tried, it is no longer worth my effort.
'But you should cajole him gently'
'No', I said again, 'it really isn't worh my time'. And I left.
My in laws were a bit shocked, but screw it, he is an adult and needs to come to a conclusion and deal with his own obesity himself and then I will support him.
Is that unreasonable? Should I be nagging him about healthy eating and the gym?

I should add I do the food shopping and buy healthy food (lean meat, fruit, vegetables) but then he will do a follow up shop for crisps and wine.

You should have suggested she make him go. .
She is his dm.
You are his dw not his keeper.

The thing is, people who are overweight will do it when they want to do it if ever. You just need to drop it. He's an adult and can make his own choices.

Exactly @DorothyHarris I have dropped it. He needs to make the change himself. I have not nagged him for about 2-3 years now.

Lol Winteriscoming, damn right!

If they say it again, remind then people learn their eating habits when children....

I think your husband needs to reach a point in himself where he is ready to bite the bullet and get on with it. My partner and I have struggled with our weight (only a stone or two overweight) but we both had to be ready to commit individually. After all, it is his body. Only HE can actually get the weight off. (Unless you knock him out and arrange lipo in his sleep ) - a joke before there are any haters . Eventually he will get sick of feeling like he does and figure out what works for him but needs to get there himself. Until he is there he will continue with the second shop.

The expectation that you should somehow magically sort out another adult is ridiculous but it's so common. The woman in a relationship apparently becomes responsible for his physical and mental health once the ring goes on her finger .

You're quite right to have stepped back from his weight issues. The most that anyone can expect is that you're supportive and encouraging if he does decide to try but yanbu to refuse to take responsibility for him.

Totally agree with your opinion.
But if I were your PIL I'd be shocked at the phrase "not worth my time", unless I knew how much you'd already tried to do.

@Elisandra I think it's because I have spent so much time on it in the past that my response was so visceral. I'll maybe have a quiet word later and explain why I really am just staying out of it.

I love the idea of the deep sleep lipo :)

YANBU If your dh loses weight it has to be something he decides to do in his own and lets face it nobody wants a dw/dh nagging saying your fat go to the gym/eat this/don't eat that etc

His an adult and your not his mother

I would have told your in-laws that you HAVE tried, for YEARS, to get him to deal with his weight and he refuses. So perhaps THEY can start "cajoling" him to get off his ass. In the meantime, you're done with it.