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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't know if I'm being irrational

28 replies

user1483964745 · 23/09/2017 11:53

Hey my DP and I are going through some problems at the minute. We're both in our late 20s, and have been together around 18 months.

dp has always dragged his feet in relationship, always trying to deter me - too fast moving, too soon after his past relationship, too intense, etc. Which obviously doesn't make me feel the most secure. Anyway, he's done some pretty questionable things - discussing now attractive the girl he slept with 2 months into our dating was (drunk, aggressively, shouted when I cried). He's also broken up with me once before but decided half way through that this was a mistake (after saying he felt 50% in to our relationship). And I finally snapped when he slept in the same bed as his female best friend. They both assured me nothing happened, but that's not really the point. It's the bed that I usually sleep in. Anyway, we took a short break and I decided to give him another chance. However he's just not making the effort. He said all sorts when we were talking - how hed change and i would be priority. But since then, he's said that his work is taking up a lot of time. He said that I moved too fast getting back with him and that I should have taken it slower and he would have made more effort. What's upset me the most was when I kinda was annoyed he didn't come over when I was sickhe said I was mental, emotionally unstable, suffocating, and that he was going toshow his friends my texts so they knew how difficult I was.

I feel uncomfortable sometimes around his mood swings. I told him this a week after we got back together. He told me to stop playing the victim and that he's not a twat but I'm painting him as one. He said he'd never had a relationship like this one and he's definitely not that bad.

aibu to think that this behaviour is bad, or am I playing the victim ?

OP posts:
FattyCutty · 23/09/2017 16:45

If you really need to be told to dump this idiot ?Glitterball

Cath2907 · 23/09/2017 16:49

Another vote for dumpsville here. As my mum would say... "have you got welcome stamped on your forehead? No? Then stop being a doormat!"

TalkinBoutNuthin · 23/09/2017 16:53

And what if it is you? What is wrong with that? You are allowed to want more, you are allowed to want things to progress at your pace. He doesn't get to decide it all and tell you that you're wrong!

Go and find someone who LIKES you and will CARE for you and RESPECT you, because this twat doesn't.

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