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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about thumb sucking / dummies?

63 replies

DrizzleHair · 23/09/2017 11:08

My 3 month old baby has become a real thumb and finger sucker, he slurp away like mad, especially when he's tired. He sucks his thumb when he's falling asleep too which so far seems really handy for us and him as his older sister preferred to suck on my boob endlessly.

Quite a few people have commented that we should get him a dummy instead of his fingers. I think some of this is just something to say. I'm happy with him sucking himself rather than a bit of plastic I have to buy / clean / keep track of.

However my AIBU is about possible dental damage etc. My mum is a huge thumb sucking fan and rubbishes any claim that it harms teeth, but it occurred to me she might be wrong!

I'm after some proper evidence either way - too many people have a story about their cousin sucking his thumb and having bad teeth, that isn't evidence to me!

Anyone got any direct experience of this / know where I can get some unbiased truth about what is best to do?

I'm not keen on dummies, but if I can be persuaded this is what he needs to move to then I will.

OP posts:
Daffodils07 · 23/09/2017 14:18

My son had a dummy, but when we got rid of the dummys he found his thumb so if they are going to suck something they will regardless of what you do.

BertieBotts · 23/09/2017 14:20

There doesn't seem to be any evidence about thumb sucking. Lots of anecdotal "My cousin etc" and lots of dire warnings from dentists but I've looked for proper studies and there aren't any.

I think it's genetic related. And dentists just think that it's related because they go ooh - look at that mouth shape. Does he suck his thumb? I reckon probably 90% of babies suck something, so it's immediately confirmed the dentist's opinion and the parents go away thinking that's the truth and the myth proliferates.

Speech development yes it's an issue if the child is allowed to walk around sucking all of the time.

BertieBotts · 23/09/2017 14:21

However one thing I will say about thumb/finger sucking - if they are still doing it by the time they get to nursery or older, they'll pick up worms all the bloody time and it's horrible to have to constantly be watching for them and fighting them off.

PaperdollCartoon · 23/09/2017 14:22

I'm nearly 30 and still suck my thumb occasionally. I've done it since the day I was born, it's ingrained into me! I have a small overbite but my teeth are otherwise very straight, I've never needed braces or anything.

I think it's fine and luckily I've got away with it, but it can cause teeth problems and it's much easier to give up a dummy which isn't attached to you and can be given away to a fairy or something! I wouldn't necessarily get a dummy, your child could have good or bad teeth either way, and if he's started on thumb a dummy probably won't feel 'right' now anyway. But for what it's worth I'll probably give mine dummies to avoid the thumb situation.

PaperdollCartoon · 23/09/2017 14:22

BertieBots erm... not necessarily? I've never once had worms in 30 years of thumb sucking.

Alittlepotofrosie · 23/09/2017 14:26

Watching an older child or adult sucking on their fingers is just gross. Dummies can be weaned off.

mumofone234 · 23/09/2017 14:26

My DS is a big thumb sucker, as was I when I was young. I'd much rather he did this than have a dummy. In any case, it's probably something that would be almost impossible to discourage - if he wants to do it, he will.

BertieBotts · 23/09/2017 14:27

It's not so bad if you keep their nails short and instil good hand washing habits but DS was terrible about handwashing until quite recently.

Toddlerteaplease · 23/09/2017 14:29

My sister still sucker her thumb occasionally at 34 as did one of my friends.

Madhairday · 23/09/2017 14:30

My DD sucked her thumb until 12 and made a terrible mess of her teeth that has taken 4 years of orthodontics to sort out. They're perfect now but only because they were bad enough to warrant the free NHS treatment - there's very stringent criteria now so not many qualify. DD had a 1cm overbite and had pushed her front teeth up into her gum. We tried everything to get her to stop but nothing worked, so I'd say definitely go for the dummy early - we did with ds and he never had any dental problems. Save yourself future trouble, there's nothing wrong with dummies!

ThatsWotSheSaid · 23/09/2017 14:33

Why ask on a forum then say you don't want anecdotal evidence? Just google 'research teeth thumb sucking' you'll find plenty of research.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 23/09/2017 14:36

It really depends on the way your DC is sucking the thumb/fingers and if you have a problem with them potentially being thumb suckers in adulthood?

I am a thumb sucker. Still am. It's a comfort thing so it's not even monthly that I do it but i do still do it.
I have never had any issues with my teeth and still don't. I doubt my dentist even knows that I'm a thumb sucker. Never had braces etc. However, it can cause issue to the teeth (but then so can a dummy).
Basically, both can be bad for your teeth if not given up before 2nd teeth come through

To ask about thumb sucking / dummies?
HeartStrings · 23/09/2017 14:38

To be honest my two DC both had dummies. They went cold turkey at the ages of 3 when I just took them away.
At the time they had really bad open bites but because I took them away before they turned 4 they're teeth sorted themselves out and now they both have lovely straight teeth.

I'd have always personally preferred dummies to thumb sucking for the reason that you can take them away when the time is right, you can't take their thumb away

chewiecat · 23/09/2017 14:52

My now 7 month old has stopped sucking his fingers so much now.. so yours may well grow out of it..

Needalifeoverhaul · 23/09/2017 14:55

Is it teething perhaps? My ds started doing this at that age, with lots of dribbling. I was told it was too early for teething but turned out that's just what it was. He just wanted something to chew on and at that age his thumb was all he could manage as was too little to hold onto teethers. Could well be just a comfort thing though.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 23/09/2017 15:37

No worms here either

Original poster
DrizzleHair · 23/09/2017 16:36

Thanks so much for all the opinions. I think I was after opinions from dentists, but actually it's really been useful seeing this range of opinions.
I think I'm going to leave him be for the moment but keep an eye on it.

It's hard to know whether to force a change now or leave it and hope it sorts itself out, but I think on balance I'm happy to do the latter.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply

OP posts:
NikiBabe · 23/09/2017 16:39

I wish I had been given a dummy. My mum was anti dummy, I sucked my thumb until I was 10 and had many adult teeth. She never bothered to get me orthodontal treatment and I have an overbite and gap between my teeth which is actually causing me to have jowls already as my upper jaw is so far over my lower.

My sister was vehemently anti dummy. Her 4 year old sucks his thumb day and night.

You can take a dummy away you cannot cut their thumb off.

SoupDragon · 23/09/2017 16:47

if they are still doing it by the time they get to nursery or older, they'll pick up worms all the bloody time

They really don't. I've had two persistent thumbsuckers and only 2 incidences of worms in 18 years of parenting.

Ginnotginger · 23/09/2017 17:02

My niece sucked her thumb until she was until she was 9 or 10, she was bullied about this in school. Her DD is 11 and still sucks her thumb both at school (occasionally, she says) and at home when she is watching TV or is tired. No bullying but she has just started secondary school so that may change.
Both of them have lovely straight teeth and don't have any dental problems whatsoever.

BertieBotts · 24/09/2017 01:54

Right well there goes that theory Blush Sorry!

Montsti · 24/09/2017 06:40

Dc2 is a thumbsucker - she's 5 now and only does it to go to sleep then it falls out or to comfort herself so very rarely...

My other 2 have comfort toys and none of my 3 took dummies...

I spoke to my dentist friend about it and he said that most kids these days have braces etc...and, as long as the baby/child isn't constantly sucking a dummy/thumb I.e. Just to go to sleep etc...then it shouldn't make a huge difference...

Personally I don't like dummies on newborns or much older kids (2/3+) but I realize their benefits particularly to the parents...

GodIsDead · 24/09/2017 07:15

My DS started sucking his thumb and fingers so we introduced a dummy which was fine for awhile and got him to stop sucking his hands. Now at 8 months old, he doesn’t do either.

autumnnightsahoy · 24/09/2017 07:37

There's pros and cons for both. Personal preference I'd say.

Ds was a thumb sucker from the day he was born and just spat all dummies out. I'd rather as an infant he had some comfort. Dummies are worse for speech development but not if you stick to the rule of 'only for sleeping' but often people keep them in when children are awake. Thumbs are probably harder to get rid off.

When ds went to school he did it much less and then we tried a thumbsie over the school holidays after reception with the incentive of more lego and he gave up in under a week with no tears or real effort. There are ways and means!

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuckKeidis · 24/09/2017 07:42

I'd stick with the thumb. You don't want to be woken up at 3am because he's lost his dummy. Also, some babies just don't like dummies. DS2 used to snack on the boob for comfort, the HV suggested a dummy, he refused it after a week, I was overjoyed when he found his thumb at about 3 months! 😂

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