To be worried I have an eating disorder?

[ProverbialOuthouse]

I'm 5ft 10in. Last year I weighed 11st 7lbs and looked fat on all my holiday photos. I tried different diets and nothing worked so I got a Fitbit and started calorie counting. Got down to my goal of 11st and then thought "ooo this works! I'll try for 10st 7lbs!" I reached that which is a weight I hadn't seen since I was in my early 20s. So I thought "this is amazing, I'll try for 10st!". Reached that this morning. The reason I weighed myself this morning was because all of my size 12 clothes were starting to hang off me. On the treadmill yesterday I had to stop because my trousers (skin tight Lycra) were falling down. My knickers are now constantly ruffled under my buttocks from falling down under my clothes. I looked in the mirror this morning and can see my ribs.

So 10st 0lbs now. Husband says I'm bordering on looking too thin yet I couldn't resist the urge to type 9st 7lbs as my new target. I feel like I'm addicted to it and can't possibly stop invade I put all the weight back on.

I'm covered in unexplained bruises which I'm wondering is a side effect from losing weight??? The whole thing is driving me insane.

It's like an addiction. You just have to stop. Let your FitBit run out of charge, stop calorie counting.

Out of interest - how exactly have you managed to lose weight? Have you been eating properly? Exercising sensibly? Or by putting long term unrealistic demands on your body?

I've been calorie counting and making sure I burn more than I eat. Nothing more than that really but it seems to be just falling off. Never experienced it before

How many calories are you eating every day? How much exercise?
It sounds like you should stop losing now and move on to maintaining your weight. How does the prospect of stopping counting make you feel?

If you're having unexplained weight loss and covered in unexplained bruises it might be worth a wee trip to the doctor x

The weight loss is explained though beans, the op has been eating less than her calorie requirement.

It might be worth a trip to the doctor anyway to talk about how she feels about her weight though.

Op this website is great for resources and information about eating disorders.

www.b-eat.co.uk

You could have made yourself aneamic op, that might explain the bruising.

It is addictive. I started to loose weight a few years ago after seeing myself in a family members wedding photos and thinking I looked huge. In reality I was only a size 14 which is a healthy weight for someone who is 5'9, and I was wearing a very unflattering dress, but it was still determined to lose weight.

So I joined weight watchers and lost five pounds in the first week, which is a lot, and it continued to fall off me. I stuck rigidly to the plan, never going over my points in take. People complimented me on it, I went down a dress size to a 12 and decided I could really try for a size 10. Then my periods sent haywire, my hair started to fall out, my legs were like twigs and my head looked too big for my body.

In the end it took several family members telling me I'd gone too far to reign it in a bit.

The thought of stopping counting the calories terrifies me, it really does. I just couldn't do it. I can liken it to asking an arachnophobe to stop running from tarantulas.

I am anaemic but have always been so. I'm taking liquid iron for it. I just can't seem to stop thinking about it.

This morning for example I thought "right, I'll go on to maintenance and stop losing weight." I made myself peanut butter on toast and then frantically updating MFP to work out how many calories over I am. It's driving me mad.

I've had these hang-ups all my adult life, OP, and been a yoyo dieter. I'm finally getting help for it. It doesn't sound like you have a long term problem but you are getting obsessed right now and need to stop losing weight. When I got into that cycle many years ago (I got down to 9:7, too slim for me at 5ft 7), my periods stopped for 9 months and I'll never know whether that played any part in my infertility.

Op you perhaps tellingly didn't say how many calories you're actually eating and what exercise you're doing.

I am concerned that you sound like you could be at risk of anorexia, but you're not there yet, you can get out of this mindset. I'm like you are sometimes though, so I do understand.

Please get help.

I don't mean to scare you (or maybe I do a bit) but it sounds very similar to my dieting experience in my early 20s. I lost loads of weight and spent many years working incredibly hard to stay thin (with the definition of thin getting smaller and smaller although I was never technically underweight). Eventually (again over a period of years) it got to much and I went the other way into binge eating which is something I still struggle with now. I don't have a simple solution but I really wish I had tackled the problem earlier (maybe seeing a counselor or even a nutritionist to get a bit of perspective) as I suspect if I'd done that I wouldn't be where I am now. This may or may not be relevent to you if course, but something to consider at least.

I think you need to stop and take a deep breath, then think rationally about this. At 5' 10", 10st 0lb puts you right in the middle of a healthy BMI. In fact, 9st 7lbs is still in the healthy BMI range, although at the lower end of the range. So, although your clothes are hanging off you, that just means that you have lost weight and your clothes that you are in now are not the right size for the weight you're at now. You will look too thin if you are wearing clothes that don't fit.

That isn't to say that you don't have a problem if you are obsessing over losing weight. But that is separate to whether you are currently at an unhealthy weight. You're not. So if you change your behaviour now, you can maintain a very healthy weight.

Perhaps don't stop calorie counting / using mfp but up your permitted amount. Maybe gradually up it. At least that way you'd still feel in control and be confident you weren't overeating and hence going to put on weight. Sorry if that sounds really obvious or patronising but not meant to! I am slightly taller and I think I'd be too skinny at 10 stone, definitely so at 9.5, (based on appearance not bmi etc)

Okay, you know you've got obsessive. Well done for recognising it.

Another one saying use your fitbit and go up to maintaining calories, but also, can you book two or three personal training sessions at your gym to focus on weights and strength? You will have lost muscle with low calories and exercise, and increasing your strength will be good for you and you can channel your energy into that - feeling fit and strong.

You will 100% not bulk up, and it will put your mind at ease about just putting weight back on.

This happened to me Op, I'm 5'9 and currently 12 stone, people complement me in looking nice so I know I'm not fat looking and I refuse to go on a diet due to previous issues, about 14 years ago I went on a diet and like you got to 11st then 10st 6lbs etc etc all the way to 9st 3lb, my boss took me aside and spoke to me all my friends said I was too skinny, I ate porridge with water, salad and fish and veg. I will never again go on a calorie counting diet or any stupid fads. I wasn't any happier skinny, in fact I spent my life worrying about food. Try to put a stop to it now Op or get help.

See a doctor. Another probably and common cause of this is developing Grave's disease, or an overactive thyroid. It should not be left untreated, can be treated (Can also explain your anaemia, one specialist doctor was telling me) and once you are on the right daily dose it is easy enough to get back to a normal routine, enjoying rest, clothes that For, and much less anxiety!

Go to your gp and tell them this.

I had a friend who did this. It was before the days of fitbits but she counted calories and went to the gym up to three times a day. She made herself ill. It became difficult for her to eat normally because she restricted her diet so much.

Please see a dr. Take a step back. Ease off the fitbit or concentrate on fitness and not weight loss.

Oh my goodness, I am in exactly the same boat, right down to the measurements! Was 11.5 stone, and am now 10 stone, which I've done by calorie counting. I love how I look now, and I feel great, but the temptation to keep going.....

A lot of disordered eating covers up something else in a persons life. I'm not asking you to share but when situations are very stressful I go through something similar to you and basically don't eat and become obsessed. Took a long time to recognise at my absolute worst after a very distressing bereavement I weighed only seven stone.

I think you’re obsessed and edging into dangerous territory - it’s from this point that things can spiral and you need to get a hold on your dieting now
. Start allowing occasional treats, don’t measure everything quite so intently. Take charge of yourself now. If not you will despise everything about yourself. Being thin is not worth the horror that an ED WILL bring. You are not different, you are not more in control than others, don’t think you can go down that path and remain a whole undamaged person.
Seriously. Give your head a shake, an ED is not desirable or special or dedicated.
See the doctor if you need to.

A friend of mine did this. She kept going.

She died.

Sorry to be so blunt OP, but please, please go and see your doctor - you really need help to overcome your obsessions and fears before things get too far out of hand.

Also I could be wrong here ... but it almost sounds like you want an ED... or you want the validation that label gives to your thinness. Trust me , not one of the recovered anorexics or bulimics I know would see it as a good thing anymore .... push against the desire for it.