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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want my SIL to stop asking how much things cost?

78 replies

cottonwoolbrain · 22/09/2017 16:29

Example sent her a photo this morning of DD dressed in denim jacket for Jeans for Genes day. Immediate response "I love the jacket, how muich did it cost" (£5.99 in the PDSA for anyone who cares)

She asks it about everything...

How much is DS's brithday party costing?
How much were DD's pyjamas?
HOw much was your new fridge?
How much were your shoes?

If we've paid for it and she likes it she wants to know how much it is. I normally just give evasive answers but NOW she's started looking themup...

"wow the party entertainer was a bit pricy"

"you could have got that fridge cheaper at Currys"

etc. etc.

FGS... its my money and quite honestly none of her business..... she and db have just had a kitchen extension done, shall I wander in and start questioning the costs of individual items and see how she likes it?

OP posts:

GoldenFlaps · 22/09/2017 18:08

5 bob and a conker

Love it

LapdanceShoeshine · 22/09/2017 18:11

My kids are too old for me to have seen "a thousand pounds?!" before so thanks for that link

KimchiLaLa · 22/09/2017 18:13

Weird she always needs to ask. Does she have a lot less money than you?

I found it awkward when one of my very close friends asked how much we paid for our new house. It's just not a question I would ask.

CottonSock · 22/09/2017 18:15

My friend and my mother in law both do this. Glad its not just me who hates it. I dont mind if someone has a genuine interest in the thing, but there is usually just judgement.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 22/09/2017 18:15

I wouldn't lie or try to be funny, how about something straight to the point - "First can I ask why do you always ask how much cost? We've both noticed it, you always want to know how much everything we buy cost or go look it up yourself, and I can't work out why you always want to know and it's really bugging me! Why do you always ask?"

From then on, if she continues to ask how much things cost, always reply with the question "Why do you ask?" if she says she's just interested keep saying you cant remember. Everytime, exact same answers but always ask "why" back first.

She'll probably keep researching what you paid (and will probably switch to "where is it from?" so she can find out easily!), but at least will realise you dont like being asked.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 22/09/2017 18:17

I'd have some fun with her. Next time she does it, tell her - whilst staring mournfully into the middle distance - that you paid a terribly high price for it. Then tail off and 'return' to the room and tell her briskly "But we don't talk about that", smile brightly and change the subject.

It'll drive her batshit

PNGirl · 22/09/2017 18:17

There are 2 reasons people are like this. Especially when it's clothes and homeware. Either they spend money like water on shiny things and want to immediately start working out if they can get the same thing with whatever cash they have, or they want to tell you how much cheaper you could have got it for elsewhere if you'd done some legwork.

I'm due a large gift voucher from work, my choice of store, and when I mentioned choosing a jeweller so I could get a watch my mum immediately said "But then you'll have to pay full price!". She is the second type, bless her.

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 22/09/2017 18:18

Just tell her ''Nothing, I just slipped it in my bag'' in a whisper.

twofloorsup · 22/09/2017 18:20

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpUJD9VEycYCn6kwnLldzpK-CIA9fsD8X

Twelvety for anyone who's not familiar with Tubbs and Edward

MiddlingMum · 22/09/2017 18:20

My standard answer is "Ten shillings and sixpence." Nobody ever has an answer for that.

NotCornflakes · 22/09/2017 18:21

Every time she asks you, put a penny in a jar. Give her the jar for Christmas, then she'll know exactly how much her present cost.

twofloorsup · 22/09/2017 18:21

Not sure that actually works sorry !

StubblyLegs · 22/09/2017 18:24

I'd tell her that if she has to ask the price, she can't afford it. 😏

Cromwell1536 · 22/09/2017 18:26

My mother used to do this. And then go "Oh, my goodness!". I broke her of the habit by saying, "Oh, I couldn't tell you. Honestly, you wouldn't sleep if you knew!" She saw the absurd side of her behaviour and stopped it before I got truly annoyed and grumpy with her.

Starlight2345 · 22/09/2017 18:31

My Ds has this at school. Year 6 with one of his friends..

Last week he was the asked where did you get new item from and how much?

He said does it really matter?
Friend ..Yes
DS..It really doesn't and walked off.

PopcornAddicted · 22/09/2017 18:35

The asking how much it is wouldn't particularly bother me, but I think the fact that she then comments on how something was very expensive or that you could have got it cheaper elsewhere would really piss me off.

You could try ignoring her question each time, literally pretend she hasn't asked it and then totally change the subject. That might work.

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 22/09/2017 18:35

I'd just laugh next time and say "oh give me peace, what's your obsession over wanting to know exactly how much everything I bought is"

Rachel0Greep · 22/09/2017 18:39

I would just look at her, puzzled, and ask why do you want to know that?
I would also probably have a bit of fun. Tell her a wrong price. So she can come back and say you could have got it for 4.99...and you say, come to think of it, it was 4.99... Etc.

blankface · 22/09/2017 18:41

A sharp intake of breath followed by the MN Classic 'Did you mean to be so rude?' and if that didn't work a 'Mind your own business'.

although Not's idea is inspired "Every time she asks you, put a penny in a jar. Give her the jar for Christmas, then she'll know exactly how much her present cost."

elQuintoConyo · 22/09/2017 18:42

"Two blowjobs behind Morrison's".

Every time she asks.

msrisotto · 22/09/2017 18:46

My sister is similar. If I tell her about exciting holiday plans, she just says "I bet that was expensive". I never comment on her new car, house etc. It is rude and a drag. News flash - I checked my finances and I can afford it so no need to worry!

Smitff · 22/09/2017 19:07

two blowjobs behind morrison's

😂

SpentTheDayInBed · 22/09/2017 19:51

I used to work with someone who asked that all the time, and another colleague's reponse to her was always "money and fair words". No idea where that originates from, but this post brought them both back to me :)

Original poster

cottonwoolbrain · 22/09/2017 21:08

Thank you everyone.

She texted earlier to ask what I'm going to spend on DN's birthday present next week - I've texted back "£4.99 same as the jacket cost"

felt good actually - now who can find me a great present for a 3 year old boy for £4.99?

OP posts:

koalab · 22/09/2017 21:18

My FIL is always interested in what we might be thinking about spending money on, be it a car, TV, or even just an item of clothing. He win go and research the cheapest option for us and be offended if we don't go with it. Sometimes he has good options, but to be honest sometimes I want to buy a big name brad that I know will last rather than a cheap knock off that will take a month to arrive from china.

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