To ask about stuff from your childhood that is strange in retrospect?

[TheCatOfAthenry]

My late grandfather used to poke us in the head with a pocket knife and say "bees bees bees". He used also give us coffee and home-brewed beer in our bottles from the age of about 10 months.

Unrelated, he used also come out with statements like "a minute is a very long time" and "nobody can hear you scream if you're lost in a chasm."

When we were ill, the crystals came out. They hoped to undo my scoliosis before the orthopaedic surgeon saw me. Had abscesses treated with funny poultices and homeopathic sweeties. One particular cure involved massaging your own nose and coccyx simultaneously. (For one condition, the school got involved to ensure I got real medical care.)

We had the archangel Michael's sword carved on our front door. We were taught that if we told a ghost to go away three times, they would. I have yet to utilise this information. And we went to Catholic mass for good measure.

Spent many a night in public houses - Dad's a musician. Was reared in a cloud of tobacco smoke. Holidayed in caravans and essentially ran wild on a halting site every summer.

Mainly nice memories. Lots of lovely people around us. I grew up into a very skeptical medical doctor, but I still enjoy all sorts of people. Get out the guitar from time to time, but only enjoy crystals as decoration these days.

Would love to hear others' retrospectively strange experiences.

Do kids ever still get the Bumps on their birthdays?

The bumps were fabulous. Best parties were where the Mum and Dad would do it to everyone.

One for luck, two for luck, three for the old man's coconut! anyone?

Being sent to the shop to buy cigarettes from age 6/7 and DM smoking indoors.
Buying cigarettes and drinking in pubs as a teenager no questions asked.
Looking after younger siblings overnight while still a child myself (my DM denies this ever happened)
Being given hot whiskey by my grandmother as a cold remedy or for any other illness.

the inference was I had attacked you in some way
Um no, it was nothing of the sort.

So if you are at work and someone says something and you don't know if they were talking to you or someone else you ask if it is aimed at you? How strange!

I was sent to the offie everyday with a note to buy my ma's fags and beer (she was an alcoholic) from the age of 6

Op your grandad sounds bonkers, bees bees bees

My dad used to give my sister and I electric shocks from an old motorbike magneto. It wasn't for cruelties sake just for fun. I've always assumed that was fairly normal though

Getting sent out to play and parents locking the door so we had to stay out in the sunshine.

Being sent to the corner shop to buy ciggies for my dad even though I was nine.

Calling everyone who remotely knew my parents Aunty/Uncle.

Ophelia. Why not just reply "No my post wasn't to you, it was to x" That's what people normally do on mumsnet. You seem a bit highly strung. Think I'll leave you to it.

Men got fed first, the most and the best. Then us kids got fed. Then my mum and granny. For years I actually thought they preferred picking chicken off the carcass to eating actual slices of chicken with their tatties and veg.

Children should be seen and not heard. Sit down and shut up we were told. Then about school leaving time we were expected to be witty, charming company.

Being left in the car outside the pub for hours at a time, then driven home by my drunk dad. I've never left mine in the car while I nipped into the corner shop for milk.

No "love you" or any other sign of affection from parents or grandparents. My kids, husband and I kiss, hug and say I love you to each other on a daily basis.

Weekly bath/laundry day.

The belt being used in school.

My mum never allowed us to watch any channel other than Grampian.

Shoes - my DC seem to have shoes for every occasion. I can remember having school shoes, plimsolls, sandal and wellies. I don't
recall getting trainers until I was a teenager. I must have had other shoes, but I don't recall what.

Schools - we used to go and use the tennis courts during the school,holidays. I was saddened end to see that the school I went to had tall metal fences around preventing entry. It was like a prison.

Telephones - you used to phone around, agree to meet at the cinema at 7pm,. That arrangement would stick.

The only pasta we ate was spaghetti and macaroni (macaroni cheese).

Wimpey was considered fast food.

Logans, you see playgrounds where anyone can wander on??

If anyone knocked on the door and my mum weren't expecting someone we used to have to go in the kitchen on the back of the house and hide under the table, mum used to hide in the store cupboard......I'm wondering if they were debt collectors although I have never asked and they still have their house etc

In the days when there were only two tv channels, itv and bbc, my dad did not approve of commercial tv, so we weren't allowed to watch it if he was around. I used to get left behind in conversations at school because they were talking about (itv) programmes I had never heard of.
I was a big fan of Dr Kildale (early 60s), this was on bbc, but if I was watching it my father often used to come in and turn it off, saying "you don't want to watch this rubbish". I still think this was unkind.

We often had people staying with us for months on end like distant relatives from overseas or friends of the family or various Church people (like Baptist Missionary Society teams - dad was a Baptist minister) so I got used to people coming into my life for some time and then leaving it again forever - has made moving around and losing friends fairly easy to cope with.

Had some amount of freedom to roam as a child but oddly got a lot more freedom whenever we went on holiday - we'd do house exchanges in The Netherlands and me and my brother would be sent off on bikes to explore even quite far even though we didn't know the place at all and often got lost but back home we'd never get to do that and had to stick to the few roads nearby.

I used to be given a raw chickens foot to play with. If you pull a tendon it cocks its 'finger' and you can use it to beckon someone

I can't beat this one. OR bees, bees, bees

Chicken in a basket throughout the 70s as a pub lunch. That was pretty strange as the baskets never got washed so it was probably a H and S nightmare!

I lived as an only child in a small agricultural village and Sundays were so boring. Only three TV channels. I read a lot.

Oh and the agricultural village meant we had crop sprayers everywhere (remember them? do they still do that?) I remember droplets of DDT or similar running down my face. I can imagine how that is going to play with my health later in life!

Ooo nails in tree stumps we were often sent to do that too!
Some of the not so tragic stuff was sitting down to tea with Fred the ted. My mum never ate with my brother and I. She would usually read in the kitchen. But she thought we ought to have conversation. So she used to put Fred the Ted with us with about 5 questions each about our day etc!

I see I was the only child subjected to bees bees bees.

I remember my gran giving us Muller corners when they first came out, like they were the food of the gods. And a diet drink called 'one cal' which must have been quite a new development in those days.

I hardly ever had new clothes, and never 'fashionable' clothes. I didn't own jeans until I was about 15. I never used conditioner on my hair either, we used vosene medicated shampoo for years. My parents were always functional people, non sentimental and non frivolous. They still are. (And neither of them have ever owned a pair of jeans!)

Knocking on neighbours doors asking if we could take their baby out in the pram. We were very rarely told no. We used to take them to the park and act like bossy Mum's to them and get them to sleep. We never, ever hurt them but I am sure there were many cross words said to the poor babies when they wouldn't magically sleep for us. Then we would return them to their Mum and she would be so happy the baby was napping she would tell us to call any time.

I still feel bad about us being dicks to babies

We weren't 'forced' out to play. Can't think why anyone got that idea. We went willingly and walked 3 miles to play in the woods all day - or get paid 50p for caddying on the local golf course! 50p bought you a lot of fags in the 70's!
I remember 'borrowing' my Mum's big fur coat and wearing it on nights out with friends. We used to imagine that kind of thing made us look old enough to get served in pubs . How ridiculous we must have looked - but we did get served! How things have changed.

Ninja but at 'being dicks to babies'

Also going to the weekly disco in my sisters clothes and heels. She was 10 years older so there was a huuuuuuuge difference in sizes. The size 6 platform boots on my size 13 feet must have been a highlight of the team leaders week when they'd see me stomping in with them on.

why the fuck did my Mum allow me out like that??

I don't recall conditioner as a child either, but you did wash your hair twice with shampoo.

Your hair was normal, greasy or dry. If you were unlucky, you had dandruff.

I also remember being told to get out to play and not be under my mothers feet. We weren't allowed to play with our toys anywhere than our bedrooms. Food was put in front of you and if you didn't eat it then tough you'd starve or it would get reheated up and given to you again later.
We regularly got smacked, threatened and whipped with a bamboo cane or my mothers slipper. I used to have to go to the shop with a note to buy cigarettes or tampons for my mother. We never had any thought to our feelings at all, if my parents wanted to do something they did, there was no consultation of us children.
We'd be regularly left in the evenings whilst they went out, from when I was about 11 and my brother about 6. They'd be out till 1, 2 am and drink and drive. I used to be standing at the windows crying for hours, worrying that they'd crash etc.
To be honest it's made me completely the opposite with my children, too lenient maybe. I'll never forget how they made me feel. I'm not sure if it was a generational thing or whether my parents were just crap. The latter I suspect as they continued to be self centred all their lives.