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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if this sounds rubbish

48 replies

Disinterested · 22/09/2017 10:53

Hi everyone. Sorry it's a wedding one!

I'm 23 weeks pregnant and my partner and I, a bit last minute, have decided to get married before our baby arrives. We have never wanted a big thing - I've always said if we could get married by post then I would have done!

It's 3 weeks away (on Friday the 13th - hopefully not an omen!) and I'm beginning to stress that it'll be a bit naff for our guests.

We are getting married in a registry office with just my Dad and his parents as witnesses. We are then going to a posh hotel where we will meet our guests. We have hired a small room out with a big table in the middle and our 20 guests (all just family) will have prosecco on arrival, a 3 course meal and all drinks paid for by us.

The thing that is worrying me is that it is not 'weddingy' at all. We are not having a cake, photographer, etc and I am not wearing a wedding dress, just a normal navy dress.

Would you guys be a bit Hmm this isn't very formal Hmm or would you understand that this is just how we are? I think I'm just getting a bit jittery and don't really have anybody to talk to about this irl.

Sorry for the ramble!

OP posts:
Flippertyjibbetty · 22/09/2017 12:04

The only thing I regret is not having a photographer - relying on friends' pics doesn't really work. But then I thought I looked fat and horrid so didn't really want any!
Congratulations and hope you have a lovely day x

Tighnabruaich · 22/09/2017 12:09

I think it sounds lovely, stress-free, hassle-free - and not costing a stupid amount of money. We got married in a registry office with four people, then took them out for a posh lunch, and that was it. It was all i wanted, so I was happy. Oh, and I wore navy too!

BadgersBum · 22/09/2017 12:17

It sounds pretty much like my wedding except my guests were at the register office as well as the meal (plus a few uninvited but extremely welcome faces turned up at the register office, including one who decided I HAD to have flowers and provided a bouquet and a buttonhole). There was just our families (both have really small families so parents, one sibling + family and a couple of aunts/uncles and a few cousins in total), plus my 2 best friends and their partners. Everyone sat where they wanted around one big table. My parents paid for the food and drink and DH's parents paid for a mini bus to get everyone to the venue and back. Was the lovely informal day we wanted it to be.

FiveShelties · 22/09/2017 12:17

Sounds fantastic, enjoy every minute of it. I would have flowers, because I love them too but you just need to do exactly what you what to do. I would love to be invited to such a wedding. Congratulations, have a lovely day and a very happy marriage. Flowers

BadgersBum · 22/09/2017 12:18

Oh and one of the 'univited guests' brought her husband with his camera.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 22/09/2017 12:24

I think it sounds wonderful, it's so special and so personal and the guests will appreciate being part of your day.
I wish you the very best on your wedding day.

SpaghettiAndMeatballs · 22/09/2017 12:27

It sounds lovely.

I'd do a cake, just because I do like a good cake, but I reckon everyone will be pleased not to have to deal with the amount of time spent shuffling the various groups together in some cold/uncomfortable area for hours taking pictures.

My sister did both a formal photographer, and just had our other sister wandering around with a nice camera taking pictures as she saw them, and honestly, the off the cuff pictures are my favourites.

nottwins · 22/09/2017 12:33

Ooh, we did this - right down to being pregnant, having 20 guests and wearing a navy dress! Honestly, it was the loveliest of days and the guests all said they really enjoyed it.

So brilliant not to have the usual expectations and pressure. It was all just relaxed and happy, and celebrating our happiness together.

I did decide to have a photographer at the last minute, but he just took pictures before, during and immediately after the ceremony. We got some lovely reminders of the day without having a randomer knocking about at the meal, and it was really cheap as he only came for an hour.

I did also have a small bouquet as I love flowers but I don't think it was crucial.

Have a wonderful day!!

AlpacaLypse · 22/09/2017 12:37

Good for you! If and when DP ever get round to it that's exactly what we'd probably go for!

RiversrunWoodville · 22/09/2017 13:00

Sounds absolutely lovely if I was a guest I'd love it! Congratulations for your wedding and the baby Flowers

slbhill42 · 22/09/2017 13:12

our wedding was quite similar. We did have speeches and a cake with the dinner.

Several friends have said they loved it because it was personalised to us, rather than following the traditions just because. And people had a nice time.

My s-I-l nitpicked, but she would have found an excuse for that no matter what we'd done Biscuit Grin

Your wedding, your choice - just concentrate on enjoying it!

just5morepeas · 22/09/2017 13:25

It sounds lovely. I'd much rather be at a small wedding that was clearly what the couple wanted than something huge and traditional just because they thought that's what they should do.

Ginslinger · 22/09/2017 13:27

if only every wedding could be like this - it sounds marvellous

Moanyoldcow · 22/09/2017 13:27

Sounds really lovely and intimate.

TractorTedTed · 22/09/2017 13:31

It sounds lovely.

And you only need to read threads on here to realise that the thing most people most complain about at weddings is hanging round for hours whilst photographs are taken! So you really don't need to worry about the lack of a photographer.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 22/09/2017 13:35

I went to a wedding similar - although on a bigger scale I suppose as there were more guests. Bride did have a wedding dress and a cake but this is the only additional thing to your wedding. It was one of the better weddings I have been to. Bride wasn't stressed, everyone had a good time. There was no put on music (by dj) just the background music of the hotel. Definitely how I would want a wedding.
Guests are key to this type thing as if you have a room of people who don't get along then it won't work!

Hope you have fun. Good luck and congratulations

DJBaggySmalls · 22/09/2017 13:37

Thats how people used to get married until fairly recently when it got out of hand! Have a lovely day Smile

Spybot · 22/09/2017 13:40

Sounds great OP and I bet your guests are really looking forward to it. I did much the same thing, even wore a navy dress too. It was a lovely day, low stress yet still romantic. We had champagne and a meal, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Congrats!!

RumAppleGinger · 22/09/2017 13:46

You've just describes my ideal wedding party. It sounds perfect. I hope you have a wonderful day! Flowers

glitterballbag · 22/09/2017 13:47

I think that sounds just perfect and if that's what you want your guests will love it too

BitOutOfPractice · 22/09/2017 13:57

You want people to turn up on a happy occasion, drink fizz and eat and drink at your expense? That does sound rubbish yes...

...only because I'm not invited!

It sounds lovely and I'm sure you'll have a great day.

Congratulations Flowers

Original poster
Disinterested · 22/09/2017 14:24

Oh wow thank you so much everybody - you've brought a tear to my eye Blush. I am so relieved at the unanimous good comments. Thank you thank you thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
Disinterested · 22/09/2017 15:18

I have also taken people's comments on board and will speak to my partner about flowers on the table :)

OP posts:
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