Aibu mil

[Loopyloumama]

Hi,

I am asking purely because I don't feel I can be rationale about my mil.

So last week Thursday she had an op and was released on Tuesday this week. So as my partner's sister is out on Saturday night so my partner informs me he is going to stay over, no discussion. So him and his children are moving to hers for Saturday evening. We always drop practically everything for her and this lady week we have barely seen each other. My children are with their dad this weekend.

My partner thinks I am being unreasonable as she did have an op but she is a lady who relishes in being ill and people giving her attention. When my partner moved in with me in his eldest child had to stay weekends with her because she couldn't bare being alone.

I just feel slightly miffed am I wrong honesty is really appreciated x

Last week I mean

Meh. If she's just had an op I can see his point. I'd enjoy the child-free night myself. Sorry that isn't what you want to hear.

For an operation, yeah it's OK. Surprising to take the children. That's the last thing people want when recovering.

In general though, it doesn't make him look good if he always puts her needs ahead of your needs. Worse if he always puts her needs ahead of his children's needs.

It's not like she is faking having the flu or something.

She had an operation and he is trying to do right by her. What discussion would there have been? Him asking to look after his Mum who has just had an operation and you saying no?

I think you'll just need to let this one go. YABU.

She's just had an operation. Perfectly reasonable for him to stop over at his mum's in those circumstances.

Would you stay with your mum for one night after an op?

So, your MiL was in hospital for 5 days and has had an operation? Not something minor then.
Her son wants to see her and make sure she is ok this weekend and you are "miffed"?

You sound a really caring person OP.

On this particular occasion, I think YABU. I sympathise with the unfortunate timing, but it is fair enough to not expect an older person to be on their own for the first few days and nights after an operation.

However, it sounds like generally your MIL has been very, very unreasonable. Expecting one of your children to spend every weekend with you just because you're on your own, is highly selfish.

I can quite see why you'd feel the way you do about this weekend, with that history behind you.

Thank you all.

My mother died when I a child and I come from a family of just get on with it.

However mil is very sensitive and very needy person.

Thank you

I am very caring but struggle with elements that's why I stated I can't be rationale x

Just because she's needy doesn't make her intentions bad. If she's manipulative with it that's another thing.

But in this situation with th OP, yabu.

On the information you have given us, YABU.
If she was in hospital for 5 days, this wasn't something minor, and it is thoughtful and the right thing to do to support her at this time.
You could even go round and spend some time with her yourself.

YABU.

Not everything is about you.

She might be a massive PITA but she's just had surgery and I think YABU in this situation and biased because you're not keen on her.

She has had an operation and you want a night out? Yes, of course his mother comes first. wtf?