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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

No idea how I'm going to do this

169 replies

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 21/09/2017 19:00

So, it's a week to payday and I have nothing in the house at all. Just cooking a dinner of chips and beans for my son - that's it. I have 62p in my purse and no petrol in the car.
We struggle every month but this month is particularly bad, zero hours contract and no childcare in the holidays so pay last month was short, uniform and shoes to buy after a growth spurt, it's never ending.
I know you're not miracle workers but any ideas anyone?? I can't believe I let it get to this, I think I've been in denial

OP posts:

MrsMHasIt · 22/09/2017 08:04

Op I want to say thank you for your thread. And tell you that even though you possibly feel pretty worthless right now, you have helped me remember some of my darkest days and sparked gratitude in me. You have helped someone else even as you are navigating this hard time.

If your freezer is almost empty I believe stuffing it with balls of newspaper lowers the electricity use - don't know if it is true but we did it. If we were flush we bulk bought value food to fill it up.

Almost out of date fruit. Make purrees and freeze in ice cube trays. Add to porridge or value yoghurt.

Speak to your local church. They must show that they contribute to their local community now to maintain their charitable status- this is new. It used to be given unchallenged. You don't have to be a believer of their god, or a church goer.

Change into scruffs when you get home so you can wear your work clothing for longer between washes.

Of course use a local foodbank and don't think twice about your car. We have seen expensive cars pull up to collect their food parcel. Foodbank should have been used weeks ago - then you would still have a bit of extra money for unforeseen circumstances.

Turn off the tv/you tube/Netflix or whatever. Consumerism is geared to make you unsatisfied. You don't need that shit right now! Get out of the house and watch nature - autumn is beautiful. Try to practice gratitude even when things are tough.

Original poster

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 22/09/2017 08:04

Suburban, it's a really old one, I've had it for 12 years. As long as I pay it every month they can't take me off it, it was a lifetime deal. Never going to better it!
Polonaise, milk and more is a good idea, I've just had a look and they do deliver to me so I'll order milk, eggs and bread from them, thank you.
I'm feeling much more positive this morning, thank you to the rational thinking people who gave me good advice x

OP posts:

Original poster

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 22/09/2017 08:08

MrsM you've made me cry lol. I've got lots to be grateful for. We're healthy and have a (slightly leaky) roof over our heads. Pancakes for breakfast thanks to an idea further up the thread and my son's gone off to school happy. It's a lovely sunny day, things always look better in the morning

OP posts:

SusanTheGentle · 22/09/2017 08:14

This might be a little controversial, but I don't think getting rid of smartphone/Internet is a good idea even in extreme poverty. Without Internet access you can't take advantage of Internet only deals on things like utility bills. You can't apply for jobs. You can't keep loneliness at bay by going on mumsnet or chatting to your sister in Australia. You can't help your kids with homework. You can't check you nectar points balance and know you can get through to pay day. You can't sell things on eBay, use apps people have suggested here. You can't even navigate the benefits system properly because it's all online now. You can't check shop opening hours, how to get somewhere, whether the thing you need is in stock, what your work rota is for next week.

"Oh but you can go to the library" is usually the objection to this. But due to austerity and systemic funding cuts to public libraries, you'll be lucky to get an hour a day, presuming you even live close enough to one. You can't do a job app in an hour that's going to actually get you a job. It's not enough.

Access to the Internet is another utility these days, it's incredibly important especially if you have children, and suggesting cutting yourself off from it is only going to cost you long term and make short term life impossible.

MouseholeCat · 22/09/2017 08:25

It won't help now, but might in the future- I use Qmee to do online surveys. You get about 20-50p per survey and it's instant cash out. I just build it up slowly as an emergency fund and a few times it's added up to enough to buy food when I've been completely out of money. You also build money by clicking on paid links.

SongforSal · 22/09/2017 08:33

OP, Do you have internet banking? It might be worth looking at 'pre qualified offers' on your banking page such as an emergency reserve fund or overdraft. Phone them! If you don't have an overdraft already, it's likely you'll qualify for a reserve of £150 at least.

Pawn shop? Do you have any old CD's, Jewellery, Musical instruments, old phones?

Many, many moons ago I had to use a payday loan to bridge a 7 weeks pay gap. The interest was bloody massive, but needs must if you could do that?

LineysRun · 22/09/2017 08:36

Sometimes all we need is a bit of advice. I must remember mumsnet is not the place for that

OP, I appreciate you're struggling, but did you really have to say that? You've had dozens and dozens of posters take the time and trouble to give you really good advice.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/09/2017 08:48

Sugar. MN is still a good place to ask for advice, as you can see 😊

It's just a shame you have to wade through so much nastiness & twattery to find it these days.

It's unfortunate that people need to put the boot in to feel better about themselves, but don't let it get to you, just feel sorry for them.

'Back to school' is a tough time for many, you'll be better prepared for the hammering your purse gets between school holidays & back to school expenses. Try saving a bit each week January to July.

Try not to over spend at Christmas, it's often where the problem starts. Kids enjoy 'doing stuff' as much, if not more, than getting stuff.

I'm glad you've had a nice start to the day 😊

Original poster

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 22/09/2017 08:52

Lineysrun I appreciate that and I thanked those posters. However, when you're already feeling as low as I was it's hard to ignore the negative, nasty people who just wanted to make me feel worse. Being accused of begging was horrendous, I know I'm a stranger on the Internet so nobody knows me but I couldn't even confide in a friend because I knew they would offer me cash and I am so not that person.

OP posts:

LineysRun · 22/09/2017 08:59

Sugar, AIBU is very well known as being Twat Central, unfortunately. There are some awesome threads (in a good way) on other boards e.g. Credit Crunch, though. Best of luck.

Original poster

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 22/09/2017 09:02

Yep. Posted here in error as I was reading another post. I was totally not thinking straight last night 😕

OP posts:

Mum2OneTeen · 22/09/2017 09:18

Hi OP, I had a thought that you should do a thorough search for coins (& notes too if you're lucky) behind lounge cushions, in old handbags, forgotten money boxes, laundry, and of course, in the car.

These are the sorts of places I search when in need of some money. There's usually a bit hiding around. Get your DS onto it too, a kind of modern treasure hunt!

Good luck!

dowsabel · 22/09/2017 09:30

Their's been some excellent advice and suggestions on here as well as some not so helpful. Although it doesn't help right now, have you looked at joining a credit union? A standing order for quite a small sum in your good months can be tucked away to help with times like this. It's not as easy to withdraw (usually have to physically go in) but it means you only draw it out when you really need it. By building up a savings profile, some credit unions offer emergency loans that aren't a downward spiral like payday loans. Good luck getting through the rest of the month x

MumW · 22/09/2017 09:42

Have you asked the school if they have any second hand uniform?
Or try freecycle or local sell/swap pages on facebook sometimes you see logo-ed uniform offered so it might be worth asking.
Zero hours contracts stink.
Hope you can get some support/advice and get on top of things soon.

donajimena · 22/09/2017 19:03

I'm horrified at some of the replies on this thread.
I run my own company. This is my busiest time of year. I've emptied the bank account to pay overheads (not my wages) and I have twenty pounds to last until... whenever they deign to pay my invoices.
OP has already said that she knows things will be ok when her wages go in. But getting to payday can be a monumental struggle.
I'm fed up of people who don't know my industry say you really need to chase your invoices. Duh? Oh Babs is off sick/holiday etc. Show some empathy to the OP please.

Threenme · 22/09/2017 19:55

Some people are just bitches. I'm sorry and I don't care if this gets deleted it's true. If you read the op and think someone is trying it on, report it and go away. Do not fill it with bile that someone in genuine hardship has to wade through to get to the nice people amongst us. I'm not daft I know there are frauds I choose to see the good in people. I don't need a bunch of unpleasant people to hold my hand to the correct decision as they see it.

cloudchasing · 22/09/2017 20:54

Precisely Threenme

DopeyDazy · 23/09/2017 13:06

you can get some good advice but for every cupful you get there is a big spoon of shit you have to eat with it. You must be pretty brave or desperate to post it

EnglishRose13 · 23/09/2017 17:06

Post on local Facebook pages for ant cash in hand cleaning jobs. I'd happily hire you if you're local!

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