to ask if you have had a mid-life crisis?

[Happyhappyveggie]

Aibu to ask if you have had a mid life crisis and if so, what happened?

I'm 44 and wondering if I'm having one

Yep I'm 49 and steering myself through one at the moment, although menopause has hit at the same time so hard to know how much of it is that! Ive left my long term career and trying to retrain for a new one - but crap keeps getting in the way. And I'm seriously miserable about being too old to ever be pregnant again! It's all freaking me out a bit

Hope it all works out @missy I wonder if mine is peri- menopause related too- feeling a bit old and washed up etc.

I'm guessing it's a natural thing in your 40s, as usually we are ending one era of our lives and looking for the next one.

I'm 41 and possibly having one.... it just feels like everything in my life is up in the air.

I'm also feeling very very broody which is unfortunate as I don't have a partner, I'm trying to do online dating but I'm so scared about it, I'm struggling to lose 1.5 stone & the future of my job is in doubt.

How do you know if its a midlife crisis and not just totally down in the dumps?

Good question

Tehima Do you have babies already?

Yeah.

I hit 40 and suddenly realised I was stuck in a dead-end job with no prospects, DS had just gone to Uni so no more being needed as "mum", DH (then still DP) and I had been seeing each other for 10 years but didn't live together, I was thoroughly fed up with myself and my life.

So I started by dying my hair. Then I got a tattoo, something I'd wanted to do for a while. Proposed to DH, he said yes, we moved in together. With the help and support of DH who had been a biker all his life I passed my motorbike test and bought a shiny growly 2-wheeled beast. Final thing was I got off my arse, used my brain and qualifications for the first time in years, jacked my boring job in and started my own business.

It was a year of huge upheaval and change, but I don't regret a moment of it and am so glad that my mid-life crisis helped me to become the person I am now.

yambabe that's great to hear a positive story, you are right it's up to us to make it all happen.
Every day I try to make myself envisage a happy fulfilling future, even if i can only manage it for 30 seconds!

Ferris I have had serious MH problems since 2008 so not had children.

I tried meeting men but found no one I could fall for since a relationship ended when I was 29.

I just assumed it would all happen for me and it hasn't.
It's very upsetting.
I have an appointment with a perinatal psychiatrist next month to see if I could have a baby on my meds but tbh without a partner it wouldn't be a good plan for me as I earn a low wage & get really tired on my meds.

Yes I'm 40 and just filed for divorce.

They say life begins at 40.....!!

I'm not sure but I think so. I got a tattoo and a piercing in true clichéd fashion, and I am searching for more meaning in life. I don't dislike it. I quite like it. I feel more powerful than I ever have. I just don't quite know what to do with the second half of my life.

The approach of 50 hit me hard. I think Mariella Frostrup said she realised she almost definitely had more good years behind her than in front of her, and that hit home with me. For about 6 months I got really down about the future.
In actuallity things have got better. I have left one sphere of my industry for a more flexible area. Feel better physically than I did in my 30s. The DC are more independent, leaving me more time for fun with DH/friends as well as remaining good company when it suits them. And the increase in libido seems pretty widespread in my (admittedly not huge) group of female friends.Only downside for me has been a rise in the support needed by elderly relatives.I guess it is still early days...maybe a crisis will loom again at 60!

Yes I'm 43 and feel I've been having one for a couple of years. I have vivid flashbacks to when I was young as if it were yesterday. At the same time some days I feel so old and tired it's as if I have had enough life already and am too exhausted for any more. I'm gaining weight, frequently ruminating over life's regrets and realising life's opportunities are dwindling. Is this a mid-life crisis?
tehmina23 I hope you find happiness and better health soon. It sounds like you have had a tough time.

I hope your appointment goes well and that your dreams come true.

It's only a crisis if you do something daft that ruins your life (like an affair). Otherwise turn the dissatisfaction into something positive. I've got fitter than I've ever been, lost weight, got a promotion. Getting the promotion was hard, my old boss held me back in my old role for a year and I had to really have it out with him which really took me out of my comfort zone and I didn't want to get emotional or unprofessional about it. But he did eventually listen and apologised in the end. I suspect he still thinks I'll not be able to do the new job but I'm enjoying it so far and it's so good to be doing something new and challenging. Makes me realise quite how much I was stagnating in my old job.

I hit 40 and suddenly decided that I'd always wanted to take up skiing (who knew?) so went out and bought all the stuff, took lessons, went on a skiing holiday and tried to get the kids and DP involved by taking them to ChillFactorE every weekend. 6 months later I was done and the skis haven't been touched since!

I also got a nose piercing over the summer holidays that year but I soon got over that quickly.