Name calling

[NeedtoknowB]

Quick anonymous post, if anyone can give me an opinion please? Need to know if i am over-reacting to be upset. Is it ever ok to call a child 'obnoxious' to their face?

Nope. Can't think of an instance in which it would be ok.

"You are obnoxious" -not okay.
"Don't be so bloody obnoxious"- I think that's ok, it's desicribing unwanted behaviour rather than labelling the child.

I can't think of any situation where you'd say that to a child and it be fine. You might tell them they're being rude but any decent person wouldn't call them any names.

Thank you for replying. Need lots of other people's opinions as doubting my own judgement. Was definitely describing the child and not the behaviour. Can't give too much context or this won't be anonymous anymore, but have general worries about relationship between partner and children.

Massive difference for me would also be whether the kids are your partners or not.

Me describing my own child : "don't be so obnoxious"... probably okay? Although I don't like calling a child that anyway.

A partner or friend describing a child that isn't theirs as "you are so obnoxious /your DD is so obnoxious"... really not on IMO.

What age is the child?

Context is everything here, though, isn't it? If the child is usually loved, supported and cherished, calling them obnoxious during a disagreement wouldn't be too bad, depending on the age of the child. If it's another case of disparaging the child in a long line of bullying behaviour, then it's not OK.

.

This is the most middl class AIBU ever

How old is the child? Old enough to understand the meaning and know how to spell the word? If we are talking about an argument with a teenager, I don't think it's too bad. It all depends on what the rest of the relationship is like

Depends on the age of the child and whether or not he/she was actually being obnoxious.

DH and I have both said it to DD(5) when she has been obnoxious... Better than telling her to stop being a little shit! (which I have surprisingly never done, even though I swear like a sailor usually, just NEVER in front of DD)

I don't think its bad if you are saying it constructively and not to be mean.

Thanks for the help. This is part of a bigger picture, but I can't give details.

I take it your partner called your child this.
Def not okay, especially if the child is young.