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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to leave shoes on a rack outside my apartment

283 replies

Shoeracklady · 21/09/2017 09:00

I'll include lots of details so as not to drop feed.
New build property in a tourist resort. DP and I are the only year round residents, all the other owners use their apartments as second homes (so have fewer possessions here.)
We have been here for 6 months and have met most of the lovely neighbours so we are very happy here. DPs parents have decided to buy the flat opposite us too which will be full on when they are here but nice.
A new neighbour arrived yesterday and as they were standing in their doorway as I walked past I introduced myself and said nice to meet you etc. New neighbour's first words to me (after his name) were "So you're the one with the shoes, they're not going to be there permanently are they?"

I was quite taken aback by his rudeness and abruptness and mumbled that we might put a cupboard there at some point.

So AIBU to keep my shoes on a nice bamboo rack outside my apartment? They don't affect the new neighbour in anyway other than the fact he can see them when he walks into his flat. They don't smell. Can the sight of shoes really be so offensive?

Other apartments in the building also have shoe racks outside as well as things like umbrella holders.

Photo included as well as a diagram to show that shoe rack is neither a fire hazard (it is in an alcove) nor in anyway in the neighbours way.

I could possibly find space to store the shoes inside but it would be a much bigger inconvenience to me than that caused to the neighbour for having to see our shoes.

Aibu to leave shoes on a rack outside my apartment
Aibu to leave shoes on a rack outside my apartment
OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 21/09/2017 11:00
  1. It's not acceptable to put a cupboard there either, OP. Not only because it's not your space, but as others have more seriously explained, it is a fire hazard.
  1. Your neighbour was not at all rude.
Walkforvictory · 21/09/2017 11:02

Shoe waterproofer spray ? Sitting by my shoe rack right now.

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 21/09/2017 11:02

Literally the morning he was moving in

But you said he arrived yesterday? So it wasn't the morning he was moving in.

the second thing he said to me was a moan about the shoes

In your OP you said ''New neighbour's first words to me''

It seems like you just don't like being reminded that what you're doing it wrong so making the neighbour seems to be the one in the wrong.

purplecorkheart · 21/09/2017 11:03

I would see it as a trip hazard in the case of fire.

RhiannonOHara · 21/09/2017 11:04

Alcohol? DIY equip such as paint or white spirit.... maybe some barbecue stuff to light barbecues with?

Yer wot? Confused

LuluJakey1 · 21/09/2017 11:07

It looks horrible. Worn shoes and trainers are not the most attractive of things- why are you not keeping them in your flat anyway? I would hate it if I lived near you.

Original poster
Shoeracklady · 21/09/2017 11:09

Spare

He moved in yesterday morning

The first thing he said was his name. Then about the shoes. No 'how are you" or "nice to meet you". That in my book makes him rude.

OP posts:
LuluJakey1 · 21/09/2017 11:13

In a very nice way OP, I think you sound a bit cooky. 🙂
I would think it was bizarre if a neighbour asked me if I minded them putting a shoe cupboard in our shared area and would I like to put my shoes in it next to theirs, or suggested we built a communal shoe cupboard for everyone's shoes. My answer, without hesitation, would be 'No'.

Botanicbaby · 21/09/2017 11:17

Perhaps NN thinks YOU'RE the rude one by having the temerity to leave your shoe rack outside your apartment in a communal area. That's maybe why he started off in the manner he did?

I must admit I'd probably think the same, I can't imagine why you think it's acceptable to do this. It looks scruffy and is very inconsiderate of you as a neighbour. Why should he have to have lived there to find them annoying? If I was a prospective buyer, that would really put me off. YABVVU.

If your apartment is too small to house your OWN shoes, you need to cut your cloth to meet your needs.

GrumpyMcGrumpFace · 21/09/2017 11:17

are you German OP? IME many (though not all, by any means) Germans would have a rack for shoes outside their apartment door. I agree it's not house beautiful, but maybe there's a bit of a culture clash.

TBH I would file this under "things I can't get too excited about".

woodhill · 21/09/2017 11:19

It looks like a dead end though?

coddiwomple · 21/09/2017 11:20

OP, I would be more than annoyed with you too, your neighbour wasn't rude. Put yourself in his shoes (sorry Blush) , he discovers you are one of those people, and he will have to say something and start with a disagreement. Most people do not like that.

I have view and immediately rejected flats where people take the piss, it's awful:
crap outside, some including rubbish bags! because the owner couldn't be bothered to take them immediately in the bins outside.

toys, left in the hall for kids to play with. Flat "too small" so parents were leaving their front door open for kids to play there.

shoes: looks dirty, unkept

Sadly there are too many flat occupants who behave that way. You should be grateful you have a neighbour who is keen on keeping the place nice and tidy. If you are really short of space, why don't you store your shoes in the flat opposite now, as your family won't be there full time?

BitOutOfPractice · 21/09/2017 11:20

I wouldn't want to look at your shoes either OP. It looks a mess

Longdistance · 21/09/2017 11:26

Yuck!

I wouldn't want to see or smell your stinky shoes.

It's a communal area.

Just put it in your flat.

Original poster
Shoeracklady · 21/09/2017 11:30

Ainbu!
Shoes have been moved in. I listened. I acted.

I still think he was very rude. I genuinely would not have (don't have) a problem with neighbours leaving shoes outside so I didn't realise I was being rude. I can now see that I was. I think he should have established if I was 'one of those people' by actually speaking to me with a bit of small talk before gently approaching the shoe issue. I want to get on well with neighbours and I thought most people did too so to start off on a negative was so unnecessary.

Aibu to leave shoes on a rack outside my apartment
OP posts:
RunningOutOfCharge · 21/09/2017 11:31

Yes Rhiannon things people put in cupboards....absentmindedly, or because they are unsightly....or don't want them hanging around indoors because they smell or s child may get hold of them.....hence me saying diy items/barbecue items

Things which might usually be kept in a shed!!

Bluntness100 · 21/09/2017 11:32

That in my book makes him rude

Well at least he's not keeping all his shoes in the corridor outside his apartment. Not really sure you can take the moral high ground here to be honest.

I don't think it's rude, it's simply you didn't like the message so have classified it as rude. For the simple reason you don't want to be challenged on this as you don't want the shoes cluttering up your apartment and making it unsightly.

Bluntness100 · 21/09/2017 11:33

Op that looks much better, well done.

ElspethFlashman · 21/09/2017 11:37

Well done OP, I think you deserve a brew for that.

Brew
Allthelightsgoout · 21/09/2017 11:38

How are you going to manage if you don't have space for some shoes in your flat? Are you never going to buy new things?

Horriblehistories · 21/09/2017 11:41

I think that's loads better op BrewCake

Although prepare for loads of people still saying yabu who haven't read the update!

Bunnyhipsdontliegrl · 21/09/2017 11:42

You are one of those people if you didn't see what the problem was to invade the communal area . If you need to be told to be considerate, you are those neighbours

The neighbour probably doesn't care about your tea or friendly chit chat. He just wants a nice place to live, even if it isn't full time . I am sure if he had waited some days and knocked on the door your wouldn't have moved it

It look SO much better without your ugly shoe rack

Original poster
Shoeracklady · 21/09/2017 11:46

So now you all know I'm not ignorant and selfish, I find myself with a bit of a problem...

This thread has rightly brought up lots of fire safety issues.
Now I didn't mention this before because it had no bearing on the situation but I am actually chair of the residents committee. This doesn't give me any extra voting rights or power (before people start saying that was why I think the committee should discuss it). It simply means that if there is a problem which needs fixing within the communal areas of the building eg. Major roof damage then the building management company can ask just me for the permission to fix it.

In the most recent (and first) meeting I requested fire extinguishers which is going to be discussed at the next meeting. Now I wonder if I should suggest some sort of safe boot storage area. These alcoves like the one by my door are at the end of every corridor and it would be much safer for all ski/ winter boots to be stored their than along the corridor.

I assure you this isn't a case of 'if I can't have my boots out then nobody should' but the thread has really got me thinking g of the implications of boots in corridors,more as a trip hazard than anything.

So if you were me what would you do? Bring it up to improve fire safety or leave people to it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Shoeracklady · 21/09/2017 11:47

Btw bunnyhips I would have moved it. I respond much better to normal conversation and reasonable requests.

OP posts:
coddiwomple · 21/09/2017 11:48

Good for you OP!

Honestly, chill about your neighbour, he wasn't rude. He saw a problem, he addressed it. Much better than writing you a note, he did talk to you.

On his side (and for most of us), you are the one who started in a negative way, not him. You listened to other people's opinion, that's great, I am sure the neighbour will be really relieved to know you are reasonable and friendly. It's everybody's benefit if he wants to keep the place as nice as possible.