To ask you to put yourself in this situation and tell me how you would genuinely react?

[ProverbialOuthouse]

You start a new hobby. Let's call it karate.

First couple of times it's fine but then instructor starts saying he's really glad you've joined his club and he can see the two of you becoming good friends. He goes on to ask if you can keep secrets but does not tell you any, just says it's good if you can keep secrets. Over the weeks he goes on to say stuff like "I feel we have a great connection, I see you as more than a student, more like a close friend" and "remember when I asked about secrets? Does it still stand?" Etc etc!!!! Creeping me out now. He's a wrong 'un isn't he?

Oh my god, for the first couple of posts from you all I wanted to know what the secret was and that I'd just ask outright but your last post UGH NO I would be very uncomfortable and wary in that situation and would be looking to go somewhere else.

What was your response to the "keeping secrets"?

He needs firmly putting in his place.

If he actually used the phrase "CRB checked", that's in itself a concern: it changed to "DBS" in 2013

I'm being serious OP, but do you look very young for your age...like a teenager perhaps. Very worrying.

There is a very creepy martial arts teacher like this in the city where I live. Don't know if it is the same one! I went for a lesson and he said to one woman 'I love your perfume' then to me 'you are very flexible' (I do yoga). Also know other stuff about him since then. Definitely a wrongun. Wouldn't go back.

Arcadia, he's also said the perfume thing! Does his name begin with M?

Grooming

No I don't look like a teenager, I wish I did!

I've heard a few dodgy stories about martial arts instructors and I've even read a book about a girl who moved in with one when she was about 14 and he was in his 50s...strange.

Hez def a creep and I would turn around and say "No I deffo cannot keep secrets and I will blab yours to the world if you tell/show me them" and then I would change instructors or speak to his boss...remember you can't keep secrets!! :)

Report him! He shouldn't be around children. Or civilised society in general.

re 'shocked someone could be so openly wrong' in club environment:

HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT!

I'd make a formal complaint to the Club and the Judo/Karate etc Association too.

Ineedmorelemonpledge

But he's married to Starla, forget about it 😂

I've known loads of personal trainers be like this. It's just grim but some women lap it up.

Creepy and wrong. And he sounds like a twat. I'd certainly report him to the kung fu government (or whatever it's called).

I've never done martial arts but I've had a lot of PT over the years and only once felt uncomfortable. I was having an induction session at a tiny local gym with the owner, an older man. He was very hands-on and that, coupled with his manner which wasn't overtly flirty but just enough to make me not want to go back. I've since had PT with several male instructors and they have been 100% professional.

No, his initials are PC. Has slightly put me off martial arts as I have met a couple of other teachers who seems a bit creepy too.

Oh Christ I hope this isn’t someone I know. Does he have dogs? Always gave me the creeps, though I was never a participant, just there with DH.

Totally inappropriate and unacceptable. I'd find somewhere else. I'm sure he will have to be a member of a governing body and licensed. I'd definitely report this. He shouldn't be teaching anyone!

Im situations like that I honestly have to keep a serious/blank face and either say "that's not funny" or "that's not appropriate". What an absolute creep

Have you ever said, "No, I can't keep secrets"?

I'm with TurnipCake.

If it's an affiliated club (to the Karate council or whatever) I'd seriously consider reporting your concerns to whatever management you can find.

Creep in love with his overinflated ego. Poor Leroy.
He should at least get a warning from whoever is in charge of him.