WIBU to change these arrangements?

[PlinkPlonkPlunk]

I have 2 DC - DS is 2.5; DD is 4 months. My mum lives about an hour's drive away, and has always come up to visit once a week. However, she broke her arm just after DD was born, and therefore can't drive at the moment, so she's relying on my dad to drive her around. Because of this, she's only been able to visit a few times since DD arrived.

I try to take the DCs to her, but we only have one car so it has to be weekends when DH is off, and we've had a few birthday parties and various things (illness , work, parents away) that have meant the last few weekends haven't been possible.

Currently she hasn't seen DD for almost a month, which is obviously a long time at that age.

Anyway, MIL had offered to take DS for an afternoon next week, just to let me get a few things done. She picks my niece up after school at 3, and the school is a few minutes from our house, so the plan was for her to pick DS up at 2.40, and then head to the school.

However, my mum now has a hospital appointment that day, and my dad has booked the day off work to take her. They figured they'd come on up to our house afterwards, since it's been a while. They'll be arriving at about 2.30.

So, I figured, instead of DS being picked up 10 minutes after my parents arrive, MIL could maybe get my niece first (at 3) and then come to us for about 3.10 to get DS, so he'd have 40 minutes with my parents (most of which would otherwise be spent sitting in the car). I sent her a message to ask whether this would suit, and said that if it didn't, there was absolutely no problem and we'd stick to the original plan.

MIL said it was absolutely fine. I happened to mention it to DH (who's not involved in any way, or affected by the change of plans) and he was quite angry about it. He's said that he'd prefer that I didn't change plans once MIL has made them as it's rude. I was quite shocked - MIL is perfectly able to say that the new plans don't suit (she's quite fiesty), but she said it was fine.

I'm now considering changing back to the original plans to keep DH happy, but I don't really think I was unreasonable. What do MNetters think? Was I rude to change plans? Or is DH sticking his oar in for no real reason?

Your DH is acting very strangely. Everyone is happy with the arrangement except him.

This is nothing to do with your DH!

I might perhaps phone your MIL just to further explain the reason for the change and to thank her for being so accommodating.

No I think your DH is being really weird about it

Your husband is being completely unreasonable and ridiculous. Plans change all the time, and it's not as if you rang up your MIL and barked orders at her. You asked politely and she happily agreed. Why your husband has taken offense over something that does not involve him is a mystery to me.

It would be rude to changr back to the original plan now that MIL has agreed.
Your DH is being strange.

Thanks everyone. To clarify, I did explain the reason to MIL, and she thought it made sense. I also thanked her when she agreed.

I just don't understand why DH even has an opinion on this, tbh! He seems to really resent any change of plans, ever.

Your MIL sounds lovely!

I just don't understand why DH even has an opinion on this, tbh! He seems to really resent any change of plans, ever.

Oh boy. You REALLY need to talk to him about his insane overreaction to a change of plans. When you have children that's basically the only sure thing in your life. He had better get used to it or he's going to make you miserable.

YANBU. Ignore DH.

@pinkhorse She has her moments, but generally she's great!

@Aquamarine1029 You should see his reaction when it's a change that DOES affect him! He's getting better as time goes on, but still fundamentally believes that plans should be made in good time and never changed. I think he's convinced that everyone else is as annoyed by it as he is.

Plink how on earth does he manage at work? Such inflexibility can't be career enhancing.

It's good to be organised, I absolutely agree, but life requires flexibility.

@BenLui His job is fairly predictable, with not much scope for things to change suddenly. He'll come home and have a good rant about it if they do, though.