In expecting a phone call/message/carrier pigeon?

[blahdyblahblah]

Almost 2 weeks ago now I hurt my foot badly.

I'm off my feet non weight bearing for at least 6 weeks. Maybe maybe months. And it's 50/50 that it'll need surgery. Possibly multiple surgeries.

I have a toddler at home and no family or friends near to help as we live very remotely.

Im feeling really, really sad that I've had no contact from anyone bar one lovely friend and my Mum once.

Apart from her neither family nor any of my good friends have so much as sent a text asking how I am.

Aibu in expecting at least my family to have given a shit?

I know I'm touchy as my period is coming soon and I'm getting quite depressed being off my feet and in pain with no real resolution in sight. Is my feeling abandoned just me being an over sensitive twerp?

Dh is being a rockstar though thank goodness.

I'm going from really sad to actually quite angry now.

Flying- you'd think by the grand old age of 40 I'd have realised that by now!

💐 we care...we'll even send 🍫🍷🍸🍰🍕🎁🎈📚🍇

How the hell did you do it?

I'd have rung or sent an initial text to say 'Oh my god, how did you do it? Are you ok? Do you need anything?' etc. and said to ring if I could help in any way & mean it. But I'm not very good with follow up texts if the person has a partner, if they're alone I'll check more often if they need anything at the shops or jobs done, hair washed etc. or just a bit of company.

I'd expect more from your Mum for sure, as you say, just a call now & then to see how you are 😕 I'm not surprised you're feeling hurt & angry with them all. Definitely stop running around after everyone else so much.

I'd say you've finally realised how much you do for others and how little they do for you. Time to rethink your role in the family, perhaps? I certainly wouldn't be sending cards to anyone who couldn't be bothered to return them.

I've injured my foot many times, breaks and sprains. I hope your foot heals quickly, with as little pain as possible. It's so miserable to be hopping round the house, trying to get stuff done.

I thought about telling him how let down I felt, and when I went to see him if the subject came up I was going to say something.

I didn't get the opportunity and if I had brought it up, I'm pretty sure it would be seen as me being confrontational.

Afterwards I was glad it hadn't come up. I'll save my energy for someone who cares.... I'm not making any effort now. The DCs need me to be present and happy so that's what I'll focus on.

Yanbu to be dissapointed but OP...as I've grown older (45 now) I've realised that other adults outside of your immediate family...ie. your DH....don't really have the time.

Of course some people are those very rare people who do...and who show that.

But generally, most people are so busy keeping their own heads above water, they don't have time for anyone else.

Don't take it personally.

I don't think you're expecting too much, at least not from the people you're close to. I shattered my ankle and was non-weight bearing for almost three months, plus another 6 months of physical therapy before I was fully able to ambulate. I didn't need physical help, DH and I are retired so he was there 24/7 and our kids are grown so no childcare issues. I got phone calls &visits from the DC and my mum frequently and texts or emails from my friends & family every week or so.

It doesn't take very long to text a quick 'How's it going?'. But the thing to remember is that the response should always be short and a bit breezy.

Id be so tempted to send an Oi you lot! How about some sympathy and some bloody support for me?! You know, actually showing me that you care??!!`

And see what happens.

And then take a back seat whenever any of them wants/needs help, sympathy, pat on the bloody back.

It is hurtful. Especially when you are normally the one helping them when they need it. I've been in your situation, running around after family when they are unwell, helping out in lots of ways, including some which have had an ongoing positive effect on some of their lives, and yet, when I was badly injured and immobile after an accident, not one of them contacted me to offer any type of support at all. The only one who did get in touch wanted me to do something for them and when I explained that I was unable to help due to what had happened, I was treated to a lecture about how everyone in the family is of the opinion I don't care about them and how my inability to help on this one occasion was evidence of that. I was so hurt. I had spent so much time and effort to help that person out over the years. So now, I am afraid, I no longer offer help. When asked, I only do what I can do with no huge effort on my part. I figure they thought the worst of me when I did help, so can't think any worse of me now.

I do feel for you. No advice I'm afraid. instead.

I did it playing badminton.

I'm feeling very passive aggressive and mopey which is not usually like me. I have lots of bad personality traits but that isn't one of them.

My Dad just called. He NEVER EVER calls me. Wondering if he's a secret Mumsnet user!

blah I think a personality 'shift' (temporary) comes with the territory. I'm normally a stupidly optimistic, cheery person but when I was off my feet 100% I admit I was a bit mopey and critical. Enforced sitting around and having to be helped everywhere (especially the loo) is frustrating and demoralizing, even if we don't really 'feel' it.

It's funny, you always dream that being waited on like a princess would be wonderful. But it's really not. It's hard to have to ask for everything or to see things that need doing and not be able to just hop up and do it. It's difficult not wanting to be a bother but yet having to ask for help, especially when you see your 'helper' (DH) relaxing.

Give yourself a break (no pun intended). But remember that people do care about you, even if sometimes they forget to show it!

Where are you ?

Across you're so right. I always though guy I'd love having things done for me but it's driving me insane and I'm ending up in tears of rage, frustration and sadness a lot! Poor dh! I have a feeling we may be Instagram buddies.

Lymn I'm in the States.

Thought. Don't know where the guy came from!!

YANBU. I have been moping over the lack of contact (one text) for my birthday (today) and that my mum spelt my name wrong on the envelope for her card (i got 2). But this is all just silly as I don't need anything.
I hope you get some tlc and support as you really could do with that.

Oh no! Happy birthday subtle! That's really shit.

You hurt your foot playing badminton and there's a 50/50 chance you might need surgery. This is a bit shit and I expect you are indeed fed-up if you're on crutches and stuck at home - I've been there myself; I had two operations on my ankle earlier this year and it's massively annoying - but it's a just a nuisance; it's not cancer or lifechanging stuff. I totally understand why you're fed up with it, but it's just important to keep some perspective.

I honestly wouldn't expect loads of messages from family and friends over something like this. I probably wouldn't even bother telling people who lived far away and were in no position to help, unless I happened to be talking to them anyway about something else.

Is this the first time something like this has happened to you? If you've not really dealt with this sort of thing before, it probably seems like much more of a big thing to you than it seems to everyone else.