Drugs are fine...!£$@@£!????

[LaBoheme]

have posted this already in step-parenting but maybe is better suited here..
SS (14) has told DH that M told him Ectacsy and Cannabis were fine (she dosen't mind if he tries) although Cocaine is not so good. I am totally horrified but DH is not so surprised or as upset as I am...I think he needs to address this with her immediately and tell her this is a really irresponsable thing to say to him and to find out what was said etc. but he disagrees and says she is such a liberal parent he never agreed with it it was one of the reasons they split so why should she change now. Am I overeacting to this? I think it is a ridiculous, careless, stupid thing to say to a teenager looking to experiment and explore life...

MM I think you might have a point there - I think it may upset him deep down that his Mum is so free and may be looking to us for boundries.
Custy thanks, I have found some of the advice on here really surpising and I am shocked that some think Ex is less harmful than Cocaine and that drug experimentation in kids is better that alcohol. What on earth would they feel like if something went horribly wrong and they knew the advice they gave was that it was OK...
Maybe I didn't explain myself properly but I only really wanted to know if DH should broach it with M, I am thinking no in conclusion, but he should tak to SS directly, giving him some facts and, yes the bottom line being that we don't approve.

agree I'm shocked at the attitude to cocaine as well, and how it has become quite acceptable. Far more addictive than the other drugs we are talking about, far more expensive, wrecks lives. Anyway, that's probably another thread!

Sensible advice on here though...

I'm not convinced about the making it more attractive by being against it argument

with teenagers

the op is saying that the mum is fine with son trying ecstasy and cannabis I'm sure that her attitude will encourage him to do so

whatever dad or stepmum says will probably have no effect

I think having a clear rule against is best for teenagers if that is the path you want them to follow whatever the issue make your principles clear

ooops sorry think i am disagreeing in that I do think cocaine is more dangerous, but obviously I am not condoning drug use in a 14 yr old.

It's good that it is all out in the open for you at least, better than you not knowing for years.

x posts

mn is very permissive when it comes to drugs

as I have found out in no uncertain terms...

Im not permissive, and the bondaries for drugs will be firmly set outside our house. I would provide the boundaries that his mother isn't, iiwy, as well as information. that way he can have both approaches to parenting!

We had to put our foot down over a situation with one of our children.He now lives away from home and was meeting up with an old school friend and he intended to bring this person back to see us as we had known him from his school days.He had told me some months previously that this person was now dealing in drugs.I said that I did not want that person in the house.Our son went off the deep end and now will not talk/see us.
Obviously this is very upsetting but on this I will not compromise. I feel we would be setting a bad example to our other children if we were seen to condone and consort with this type of person. I also, have no wish to mix with this type of person.

I wouldn't say anything to M, but I would phone a charity like Frank or local drug/youth workers and ask then to have a word about the risks associated with each drug, unbiased informative and without authority may come accross better to SS.

I have used many recreational drugs and no harm came to me but I would never share this with my children!! I hope that if they do want to try it they would feel like they could call me at any time if they needed help or advice, so I wouldn't condemn it completely.

One more thing, many drugs are processed with a fair amount of abuse of vunerable people and this could be more persuasive than 'health' related arguments to our 'civil rights' caring youth!!

Look out..... I give it three pages before the "recreational" crowd come in with their "alcohol is a drug you know nyaaa-nyaa-nyaa"

ANCIENT thread!

my friend died after taking 2 E's

it was horrible to watch. we were in a nightclub toilet. when the parmaedics eventually got there she has already stopped breathing

Same applies to alcohol, no? I would like to make sure my children are safe with it adn despite the social acceptablility of alcohol many, many abuse it. So I guess I would like to think they do everything in safety and as no illegal white drug can be safe for sure then I'd rather they didn't do it.

Like effing f*ck they are.

Sorry, responding to OP's title only. Just about sums up my position though.

To add some good news to this thread,our son is now talking/seeing us and we have talked through our stances.I still do not condone illegal drugs but do acccept that our son wanted us to see the lad only because we used to have him stay with us during term time weekend exeats and were friendly to him and his mum.Good luck Boheme and stick to what you feel is right for you.....

are you 100% sure she said it like that maybe she said if your going to experiment with drugs please tell me what your doing