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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to tell my neighbour their animal scarer is upsetting my children?

62 replies

YreneTowers · 20/09/2017 10:31

One of my neighbours has one of those 'ultrasonic' animal scarers in their front garden, I assume to stop cats and foxes.

They are elderly, so most likely have hearing loss at higher frequencies (almost everyone does past the age of 30 or so) and are probably unaware that some people, myself and my children included, can hear the noise the animal scarer makes.

It's a very unpleasant, high pitched tone, which can be heard for quite some distance. My eldest son in particular finds it very uncomfortable.

It's lucky for them that I can hear the noise, as if I couldn't, I would have no clue why they were reluctant to go near that house and complaining about loud noises!

Varying our route to avoid walking past this house is not an option - avoiding it would mean walking quite some way in the wrong direction. We go past this house twice a day on the school run.

WIBU to pop a note through the door to tell them their animal scarer is scaring my children?

OP posts:

purplewaterbottle · 20/09/2017 10:41

Me and my son have this problem, we call it the 'beeping cat house' and meow when we walk passed. Doesn't bother him anymore!

Branleuse · 20/09/2017 10:44

yes, i would tell your neighbours and ask them to turn it off

NikaKaKa · 20/09/2017 10:44

Rather than popping a note through their door, perhaps you should knock and talk to them.

tabulahrasa · 20/09/2017 10:46

Oh god, they're horrible...they give me a horrendous headache for hours after I've passed them, so it's not even just that they're painful to pass.

So no, YANBU.

charlestonchaplin · 20/09/2017 10:59

I'd say, 'tough'. It doesn't take long to walk past a house and if people didn't get antisocial pets that they let out to annoy and inconvenience their neighbours they wouldn't have to resort to such measures.

nocake · 20/09/2017 11:04

If your kids can hear it then it's probably faulty. It should also be triggered by a PIR so you could ask them to move it so it doesn't go off when people walk past.

MrsOverTheRoad · 20/09/2017 11:06

YABU! Tell your kids to put their fingers in their ears. They're not even your neighbours!

Narnia72 · 20/09/2017 11:10

We've got one, and only hear a clicking when it's activated. Sounds like it might be faulty, as unless it's pointing at where you walk it shouldn't be constantly activated.

I'd knock and just ask them to have a look at it.

Twistmeandturnme · 20/09/2017 11:13

We bought one. Neither DH nor I can hear it, except the click...it brings the teens running from the other end of the house to tell us to turn it off though.
We wouldn't risk putting it outside as it really isn't fair on the local children.

JustAnotherUser123456 · 20/09/2017 11:14

Sorry YABU. We have got one of these ultrasonic things because someone keeps letting their dog shit on our front lawn. Since we have had the device it hasn't happened so I'd have no intention of not using it, even if someone objected to it.

We also have young children, 3 and 5 and the ultra sonic noise doesn't upset them.

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 20/09/2017 11:16

It seems from your OP you can hear it when you're walking out but not when you're in your house/garden. I think you just have to deal with it- it takes a minute to walk past someone's house.

user1495451339 · 20/09/2017 11:16

If you could hear it from your house or garden I would ask them to stop but as it is only when you walk by I think it is a bit much to ask. I am sure your son will get used to it.

allertse · 20/09/2017 11:17

YANBU but just knock on their door.

Hearing changes with age.

My younger brother once downloaded a very high pitched noise on his phone. He could hear it fine and my parents couldn't hear it at all, but it was excruciatingly painful for me to listen to. Luckily my parents believed me when I told them, I was on the verge of smashing his phone and taking whatever punishment I was given, it was horrendou.

Just because some people don't find a sound painful doesn't mean its not awful for others.

Glumglowworm · 20/09/2017 11:17

If you can hear it in your house and garden then yanbu

If it's just walking past their house then I think YABU, it doesn't take long to walk past a house so it's a very brief annoyance surely?

nicewaterfeature · 20/09/2017 11:18

Why can't you tell your children to put their fingers in their ears, or do you expect the rest of the world to conform to your children's desires?

TheMaddHugger · 20/09/2017 11:18

@tabulahrasa
Oh god, they're horrible...they give me a horrendous headache for hours after I've passed them, so it's not even just that they're painful to pass.

((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) Same here. It's awful and ear plugs don't help

HerOtherHalf · 20/09/2017 11:21

Notes through doors are usually a good way to get someone's back up. A face-to-face chat with a smile and pleasant demeanour is far more likely to get a positive outcome.

Evelynismyspyname · 20/09/2017 11:26

Talk to them.

Notes can come over as very passive aggressive no matter how politely worded they are, a note through the door, especially an anonymous one or one signed without full names and contact details, is more likely to upset people than a friendly conversation.

Don't necessarily expect they will stop using it but go with the information that high frequencies can be heard by almost all children and some adults, and that it might be faulty and/ or upsetting others as it's activated all the time. Assume they don't know anyone can hear it, be really friendly and chatty, maybe take them a cake if you really are invested in winning them over.

Hopefully it's faulty and can be exchanged, and they are friendly and don't know anyone can hear it and will be pleased someone's told them!

Tamatoa · 20/09/2017 11:28

Do you own cats op?

TonicAndTonic · 20/09/2017 11:31

If you can hear it in your house and garden then yanbu

If it's just walking past their house then I think YABU, it doesn't take long to walk past a house so it's a very brief annoyance surely?

^^This I think. Plus YWB a bit U to stick a note through their door rather than speaking to them in person about it. Notes put through the door from neighbours (especially anonymous notes) are inherently passive-agressive, however nicely you try to word them.

TonicAndTonic · 20/09/2017 11:32

X-post with Evelynismyspyname

guilty100 · 20/09/2017 11:40

I agree 100% with those saying there's a difference between enduring this all day in your home and just walking past.

Originalfoogirl · 20/09/2017 11:53

wondering if I can put one of these outside our house where they've just built a
playpark

DJBaggySmalls · 20/09/2017 11:53

If it affects you while you use the pavement then YANBU.

astoundedgoat · 20/09/2017 11:56

I think it's reasonable to knock on their door and let them know that their scarer is actually extremely audible to many people, especially young people, and that it causes a disturbance around their house that they may be unaware of. Offer a solution - don't just raise a problem. They may not care, of course, but they might genuinely not know, and be willing to take a different approach to the animal thing.

I had such a row with my Dad about this years ago.

He bought one of those whistles to scare cats away from the bird feeder in our apartment complex (I lived in a different flat from my parents). I could hear him blowing it ALL THE BLOODY TIME (he was newly retired) and it went through my head, but he couldn't hear it at all.

He genuinely thought it was completely silent, and that I had some irrational vendetta against him. It was only when I started going over to his flat every time I heard it to make him stop, that he reluctantly accepted that it couldn't be a complete coincidence that I was only complaining immediately after every time he actually used it, and finally he stopped.

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