to think if you are chronically late, your kids will grow up that way too?

[PoppyPopcorn]

Or does it send them the other way?

I live very close to a school. My street appears to be the unofficial drop off zone for parents so I see the same people every day.

Every morning, without fail at 9.01 am a woman sreeches up in a silver Nissan Juke, throws her child out of the car to run down the path into the playground shouting "go! go! you'll be late!!" Poor kid has to leg it into the school playground, sometimes she makes it before the door closes, other times the door is shut and she has to walk through the main entrance and get a late mark.

Every morning.

So this poor child is going to grow up thinking that cutting it fine or arriving late is just what you do, and perfectly normal. And it's her mother who is teaching her this.

I cannot abide poor punctuality and the only time I've ever had to sack someone was for consistent poor time-keeping. Being on time MATTERS - is this child going to be late when it comes to things like sitting her exams or turning up for her driving test?

Disclaimer: on these threads there are always replies from people who have six autistic children to get out in the morning, don't drive, have to hike ten miles over the moors to school so it's understandable if they're 5 minutes late. But I know people who know this mother and none of that applies - she is just shit at getting her kid to school by the time the first bell goes at 8.57am.

As a dc of someone like this I am always slightly early or on time, but never ever late. The chaos of my childhood leaves me an anxious, over cautious person - I can't stand the stress. It does have an impact, believe me. I used to be absolutely mortified to always be the last one waiting to be collected.

I really feel for dc who I see now who are in this position.

I am always late

I have severe OCD so really struggle despite having a very organised home and life.
My dd is in year 2 and we have been late several times already since September 4th.

I am trying so so hard. I'm up with the birds and also have an autistic ds who is in secondary school ( mainstream) so have the extra pressure of him panicking and running to a right schedule.
I myself have fibromyalgia and am stiff for hours and in agony.

The above do all sound like excuses. Maybe they are and I'm just in denial but I went and spoke to dd's headteacher yesterday and explained my situation.
She was extremely understanding and gave me a big hug and that is completely out of character for her!

So I seem to be in the minority on this thread. I would hate my dc to grow up and resent me for this.
My ds leaves early for school as panics so maybe I've already influenced him.

I'm hoping to be like the rest of you soon

I was always late to everything as a child. We had a 30 minute drive to school and we would never even leave the house until it was the time school started. It made me so anxious throughout my childhood and I am religiously on time/ early for things now.

We were often late for school when I was little - usually because the car had broken down or my brother had been sick everywhere - and I was mortified. I hated being late and still really hate it now. My sister obviously wasn't that bothered as she's always late for everything now.

I inherited my dad's pathological need to be early for everything, she inherited my mum's more laissez faire attitude and we all annoy each other

One of the reasons my daughter was keen to start getting herself to school in Y5 was because she would leave to get there by 8:50, whereas or DH would get her there for 8:58 (though he's better than me generally), so there's hope. Maybe silver Nissan lady has been ready for hours and it's her daughter that's dawdling?

MIL is very late for everything. She's a faffer and when on time, she thinks it's a sign to slow down and stop for coffee until she's late again. DH and his siblings are early for everything after a childhood of perpetual stress and embarrassment.

MIL offered to take DD to school when she was in reception. I didn't drive, had a newborn (4 days old when DD started school) and it was 5 miles away. It was on MIL's way to work and she begged to help out. I was SO grateful. But DD was that child running in after the bell every day. I started taking her on the bus and learned to drive quick smart.

Being early has advantages. A while ago I had to take one of my DC to a hospital appointment in central London. I planned what train we'd get and my dh thought it was ridiculously early and why was I leaving so much time. Just as well I did because when I got to the station every train had been cancelled and we had to get taxis and tubes instead. Because I'd built-in so much extra time to the journey, we got there on time.

to me!

My mum is/was always late. I was late for school nearly every day and I hated it. I am now never late, I'm usually ridiculously early as being late makes me anxious.

She still is and drives me mad. Dh is a bit similar. He once said "but if we leave now, we'll be early" What's wrong with being early? Nothing bad will happen.

My mum faffs, and even if already late will still do all the same routines - put dishwasher on, make sure have all water bottles, change of clothes, spare tissues. If we're late we go, forget non essentials.

My mum is always very, very early for everything. It's common for her to catch the train before the one she intended to catch and that kind of thing.

I spent so much of my childhood hanging around waiting for things to begin that I'm now that parent who arrives exactly on time saying 'come on kids, hurry up!'. Although to be fair I'm rarely actually late - I think my DC only had one late mark last year.

My mum and I met at the cinema recently (having travelled separately). She arrived over an hour before me!

DHs parents are very casual about timekeeping. DH is obsessively early. I'm not sure if this is a reaction to his parents timekeeping or just DHs personality...

My mum was like this, we were always late, ate breakfast in the car in the 5-10 minute window we had between home and school. I hate being late, either early or on time though my dc is a sloooow eater, very slow, I have to nag to keep him eating so there is time to brush teeth, shoes, hair then out the door. I have a cut off point for when we need to be out the door and that gives us 5 minutes wiggle room.

I'm curious about people who like to be early, because one of the reasons why I am often a bit late is that I absolutely hate being early. It makes me feel anxious and panicky. In situations where I absolutely have to be early, I spend ages planning and preparing the early time so that I have stuff to fill my mind, but it feels so draining and I always feel worn out afterwards.

If I could teach myself to enjoy being early (or at least, for it not to be quite so unpleasant) then I'd probably be late a lot less often.

Early people, what do you do when you are early? How do you fill the time? How do you keep the children occupied? How do you stop yourself from getting absorbed in something while you are waiting for and forgetting about the thing you need to be on time for? Do you spend a lot of time lurking out of sight so that people don't feel obliged to start early?

Maybe she has two school drop offs

Early people, what do you do when you are early?

Browse, read a book, sit with a coffee, Mumsnet, or just sit and enjoy the peace!

YANBU OP. Though the son may lurch in the other direction.

We are early birds I am quite like this DH very like it - got to airport once with too much time to find the Italian airline had brought the flight forward without telling anyone. With a fair wind and lots of dashing we just about made it. DH now uses this as justification for his earliness every time!

I hate people who are late, I have so little free time that standing around waiting for 15 minutes is the most annoying thing in the world to me.
No idea how that child is growing up, but at the very least shes learning that being late has negative results, aka having to rush and possibly being marked as late. Hopefully they dont follow in their parents footsteps.

So you gossip about this woman with her so-called 'friends'?
It's not really any of your business why she is late. You may know someone who knows someone who knows her neighbour's cat and informed you that she is just a lazy cow, but perhaps her DC is just a bit of a nightmare in the morning? They don't need to have ADHA, autism or any other condition to just be a difficult child who just does not like to put there goddamned knicker on!! (

Broomstick I'm an early person. If i'm in the car when I'm with DD2 (picking up DD1 from school for example) we'll park further away, have a walk and it means we can stop and examine every bit of litter/weed/lamp post/whatever is fascinating her that day. We usually take a few little plastic dinosaur toys with us so we'll play with them in the car if it's raining or she can run around the playground.

If i'm on my own and i'm early for something (which i nearly always am) I either have a nice walk, grab a coffee somewhere or find someone to sit and read for a bit (I always have my kindle on me.) I find it very relaxing!

There are two or three mornings a week when I'm leaving the house between 9 and ten past to go to a class, so often encounter this parent screeching down my road and almost crashing into my car. So yes, I have commented to a friend - that idiot in the Juke almost crashed into me this morning in her panic to get her DD to school.

Also disagree that a child's lateness to an exam or driving test isn't disruptive to others - it most definitley is is someone's arriving after everyone else has started, or delays other people's tests because they were 5 minutes late.

I am an "err on the side of caution" person - if I knw a journey takes 30 minutes I'll leave 45 in case of last minute delays. I would hate to be late ever and the thought of being late sends my blood pressure rocketing.

Being a punctual person I find it VERY rude that people just rock up when they like. If we say meet at 1300 then that's the time we are expected to be there.

I had arranged to meet a friend in London a few years ago at a very nice restaurant and they give you 2.5 hours until the table is given to someone else.

She turned up over an hour later moaning and groaning about her daughter needing to be packed off to school, her cleaner not turning up etc (not interested in any of that!) It meant that we had to rush through the meal and I don't think she realised how annoying this is.

Blooming get yourself together and stop being so rude to others!

People who are really early manage their time as badly as people who are regularly late. As long as their poor time management doesn't affect me, I won't say anything.

The thing is, people who are late are usually apologetic about it, whereas people who are early sometimes feel the need to say that they have been 'waiting' for me when the fact is that I am punctual. I do say something then.

I find it easier to deal with people who are chronically late. If I meet my friend for the cinema we arrange a drink first. She invariably has some crisis on the way but I make sure the bar is near some shops and have a look round until she texts me.

People who are terrified of being late but who can't organise themselves to be on time, often draw you into their obsession by insisting on arriving somewhere pointlessly early and then making a virtue of their poor time management.

Early people, what do you do when you are early?

I think phones and kindles have made waiting round easier. I also go for a wonder round as that can be surprisingly useful though not all areas have anywhere worth wondering about.

It is one time not driving can be a pain - especially if it's wet and it’s an odd location with no shelter to be found.

First time I flew I had to get to airport by myself on public transport and was hours and hours early - meant I was one of first to check in and got upgraded to first class - but it was an easy place to wait. When I had to do hospital appointments with young children and buses could be flaky got there very early but had drinks, food, toys, books.

So there are times I’ve planned to be very early – but generally aim for a much smaller buffer time.

disagree that a child's lateness to an exam or driving test isn't disruptive to others - it most definitley is is someone's arriving after everyone else has started, or delays other people's tests because they were 5 minutes late

In what world is this? Some places, such as cinemas, have always let people in late. I find that a bit annoying. But if someone is late for an exam or a train or plane, it generally goes on without them. That's why on these threads you get people saying: 'Ooh. They wouldn't be late for a plane, would they? So they can be on time if they want.' Of course they can. And if not, sometimes they have to bear the consequences.

Early people, what do you do when you are early?

Read a book or newspaper, answer a few emails on my phone, maybe do a bit of internet browsing. All the kind of thing I'd be doing at home or work. I certainly don't just sit there looking into space!

But if someone is late for an exam or a train or plane, it generally goes on without them.

Indeed it does, but in an exam, it's distracting and annoying for the majority who managed to get there on time and are in the middle of answering what could be quite complex questions.