Do you Believe Gossip??

[chooselove]

What do you do if somebody has spoken v.unkindly about you behind your back???

I don't have proof but believe a close friend of mine in the past has started a nasty rumour!!

We no longer friends but I'm afraid ppl r believing her!

It upsets me, my question is if somebody said something nasty about a friend : Wud you believe them?? Wud you ignore them?? Wud you tell them someone was spreading rumours?? Do you believe gossip?? Do you give people benefit of the doubt??

I feel sad some ppl actually believed this person. Just feel sometimes if you hear something unsavoury maybe question where is this coming from? Shud I pass judgement on something that is just hearsay? Do I Believe everything ppl gossip about??

My point is can we all be Kind to each other & maybe not pass judgement on something someone says too quickly?? Cud they b lying??

Has anyone had similar experiences, how did you cope??

If anything I think far less of the person gossiping than the subject of the gossip.
What Susie says of Sarah, says more of Susie than Sarah and all that.

I ask not to be engaged in gossip several times. I've found many people aren't happy about me removing myself from such situations. I don't care.

I may listen to gossip but don't necessarily believe it. & I often don't retain it long enough to dwell on it, nor do I repeat it. I cannot abide gossips - they're too spiteful for me I avoid like the plague.

Currently avoiding a friend as she says horrid things about people and I can't stand to hear it. She's talking about people I know, including someone who's passed away recently yet as bitchy as she was about him, she was front row at the funeral

You can't do anything about people who believe gossips. We likely don't know half the things said about it anyway. If someone repeated to me what was said about me Id address it immediately. But apart from that if people want to believe shit about me thats up to them. If they can't pinpoint speciifcally something bad I've done to them then the need to keep their beak shut and preferably, not speak to me again

I'd defend a good friend against gossip too

I can't stand gossip. I take most of it with a pinch of salt. Most of my friends and acquaintances know not to bother me with it mainly, as I just don't want to know tittle-tattle.

In fact, someone did try to pass on some gossip today. I made vague 'mmm' sounds and wondered why they were bothering.

I just can't be arsed with it to be honest.

gossip usually has a smidgen of truth. but generally it doesn't interest me add or subtract from my friendships.

I bloody love hearing gossip. I'm not alone...how else to explain the profusion of magazines full of it? The mags aren't as good though, because they are full of strange people trying to create gossip about themselves in order to appear interesting, e.g. the cast of Geordie Shore and Love Island.

I pre-warn anybody telling me gossip about real people that I am incredibly indiscreet and incapable of keeping secrets. That never puts them off though.

Well as long you know it isn't true that's all that matters. Plus you're a 9 day wonder. She'll be talking about someone else next week.
She's behaving like an idiot. Well actually. A bit more sense. She'd be an idiot.
Honestly she's not worth your worry time or energy

Whenever I hear gossip I give it half an ear and wonder what the rest of the story might be.

I think much less of the gossiper than the gossipee actually, and then I consider what they might say about me behind my back.

Advice: ignore and avoid.

Thanks all, was finding it hard to sleep last night but felt much btr when I wrote it down!

I was Guilty in the past that if I heard something about someone I wud Judge them, I now realize that what was being said about them may not have been true but I allowed that piece of information cloud my judgement!

If I heard Gossip about someone now, I wouldn't entertain it, I understand how ppl can get drawn in, make judgement & without realising it might not want to make friends with that person because of something someone said!

I'm in my mid 30's now & thankfully I've grown up! I suppose going fwd if I hear someone saying something bad about another, I will ask myself, what's their motive, is it kind? If not Do I tell de person being the subject of it?

I fell out with my best friend of 20 years because she spread rumours about me. I had it out with her in public and in front of the people she'd told. I then made a point of telling mutual friends that I wasnt friends with her anymore as she'd been spreading lies about me.

It still makes me angry now.

Oh I love hearing gossip. I don't gossip myself, so I never pass any information on or anything, but I do love hearing it.

I take it with a pinch of salt. I listen, store it in my mind and any future interactions may either prove or disprove the gossip to be true.

I always assume that if someone is gossiping to me they're probably gossiping about me when my back is turned.

I still get this from a group of girls who I left working with 3 years ago. They still talk about me and are not very hidden about it. I still have to walk past my old place of employment twice a day and you can see them staring out the window and occasionally, one of them will come out and give a fake, "hi how are you we miss you" crap.

They don't know nothing about me or what I'm doing now, they can't figure out why I'm not in a uniform anymore, because I go the gym of a morning after school run I don't wear my wedding and engagement ring as I go swimming after so it's safer to leave them at home, so they can't figure out what's going on there either.

Based on that, I'm unemployed and on benefits and my new car was a purchase with my inheritance off my Dad who they had heard had died.

They've also never removed me off the What's app group chat for the whole nursery staff team so I get the read what's said. It's tricky as they often send messages that could ruin my professional reputation which are unfounded and untrue but are being used by my old room leader to pass off her mistakes and errors as mine.

I can't help but wonder how shit their own lives are to still need to talk about me.

But they are two faced and very cliquey. I worked there for 10 years and still wasn't allowed in on the in-jokes which they frequently cracked. Yearly, the Manager would do our appraisals and would ask if I had any problems and when I told her about the problems with the person I was having, they couldn't believe I was telling them. After speaking to the girl whose job I had taken, she said the person was a bully, used to bully people out of their jobs and at one point was going through a new person every 6 months or so.

What she found hard with me was that I didn't take her crap and would confront the gossip she started directly with her and the person who told me. Once j had left she was messaging the other girls and saying how sit was me that caused the trouble and that's why I had gone etc. I still have messages that she sent me where she's spreading rumours etc about other staff that are still there, so tempted to print them off and drop them in but I'm better than that!

But yes, be wary of the person who likes the gossip as they often start it as well as spread it and are usually that blatant because they rely on people not being confident enough to confront it.

My DH however thinks that you shouldn't confront as that's showing them you are bothered which is a point for them and that anyone who really knows you wouldn't listen anyway.

Thanks all & Brittbug I'm sorry you had to go through that!

Gossip can easily be turned in to a smear campaign! I don't think ppl realise the hurt & the pain they cause when they fwd on information based on something someone said which ultimately can b false!

Moving fwd I was really upset that someone I once considered a friend cud start a nasty untrue rumour!

I feel she was trying to isolate me & hurt me. I'm v lucky I have a Wonderful hubby & a couple of close friends that know what she is like!

I'm going to be positive, rise above it, forget about it! It really doesn't deserve anymore of my head space!

I suppose I just wanted to put it out there that sometimes what you hear may not b true!

Be Kind💕

I'm going to be positive, rise above it, forget about it! It really doesn't deserve anymore of my head space

It really doesn't. I'm trying harder to be like that but I really struggle because I think how dare you say that about me.

One day she will trip herself up and everyone will see her true colours

I think most grown adults treat gossip with a huge handful of salt, recognising that things can easily be misinterpreted, and that there's a huge difference between something being said about someone and it being true. If you start second guessing what everyone thinks of you on the basis of a rumour, you'll go mad.

I have had the same happen to me in the past, someone I thought was a friend spread lies about me.Some people asked me for the truth, which I told them, some people did believe the lies, and while it hurt at the time, I came to realise that anyone who believes bad things about me without question is really no loss to my life! It is an efficient way of sorting out true friends from rubbish ones!