To ask about Muslim wedding etiquette??

[ChangeName123]

I have been invited to a Muslim wedding of a friend of DH (she's primarily a work colleague. I've met her a few times but I'd rather not ask her directly).

Very excited as I have never been to a Muslim wedding and I am really looking forward to it.

I am just wondering about etiquette..I understand that wearing red is a no no as it's reserved for the bride but what else? Are there any other colours to avoid/ones I should go for? Also with regards to modesty, should I aim to be quite covered? Just don't want to be 'that idiot' at best and plain offensive in a worst case scenario.

Please forgive my ignorance. I have obviously googled but don't want to rely on a random internet search.

And any other etiquette no no's would be very welcome

I am muslim and there is a great deal of variety between muslims and how strict they are. Apart from dressing modestly ( no cleavage) I don't think u need to worry. No alcohol and food will be in abundance but may be quite late !

Thank you! Yes I am aware that alcohol will not be served and lots of food is fine by me just as I thought then re modesty. Thanks again!

Hey,
I've been to quite a few, and etiquette seems to depend on the people hosting. You really should just ask directly to avoid any misunderstandings. I understand even for "the community" people they know the type of people and can better guess.

e.g. some are seperated male/female sections
some are quite conservative - no bare flesh arms/legs
others are quite mixed and liberal (e.g. non muslims in skirts/dresses not a problem) or muslims in the last one had sleeveless dresses and more.
Colours anything goes that's in fashion, perhaps over the top asian dresses are reserved for the bride

What can I say even on timings, many start late, some start on time.

Thinking about it more, ....ask .... I've seen it all.

We went to a Muslim wedding years ago & it was AMAZING! The dancing is fab and the food was soooooooo good!

No red. Black (women) is only allowed for the super religious wearing burkha/abaya and even then it's usually offset by sparkle of some description. Sleeveless/ sleeves shorter than three quarter depends on the family and where the wedding is - if in a mosque then no. Best to wear a floor length evening gown with lace sleeves and go full on glam with make up, as you will feel out of place in what you'd wear to a non-Asian wedding.

First question: what type of wedding is this? Arab Muslim weddings are very different from Pakistani ones which are different from a Somali wedding.

I've been to all of these but as my family is from Pakistan I've most experience with that type.

There are two elements to the wedding. The nikah (wedding) hosted by the bride's family and walima (feast) hosted by the groom. They are normally on seperate days but can be combined.

Tips in no particular order:

1. Give money not a gift. This is entirely normal and expected. MN may heave in horror, but usually bride and groom are setting up a home and can spend the money making it their own.

1. I would wear modest clothing. A maxi dress. Bring a shawl or scarf. if you want (no obligation) you could cover your hair with it when the qu'ran is being read. Most women do this even if they don't normally wear a headscarf.

1. Is this is a Pakistani wedding it WILL be running at least an hour late. Don't be early; bring snacks for DC (and yourself).

1. Depending on how strict the family are, men and women may be seated separately- either by room or table.

1. Seating plans are uncommon (but see above).

1. If it is the nikah, yes avoid red. You may also want to avoid white as that is associated with funerals.

Hope that helps. Ive got a massive Muslim family (6 weddings this year so far) so happy to answer any questions.

X posted with many above! I'd second the point about the level of dressiness being higher )and with more bling).

There are loads of sites that sell lovely Asian clothes - diya online and rupali are good places to start.

Agree with the lateness thing.

Which is handy if you're a vegetarian, as you'll have time to eat before the wedding starts.

Similar to what Badgerlady posted above, the cultural heritage of the couple usually dictates the type of wedding. So there isn't really a 'typical Muslim wedding' so to speak. When my friend, who is a English & converted several years before she met her dh, got married it was a blend of both of their cultural heritages. She wore a white modest wedding dress, was given away by her dad & had speeches at the reception. Her dh wore a suit reflective of his cultural background and it wason a really lovely day.

Have a light lunch before you go because the timings are usually chaotic.

It really depends on what kind of Muslim she is. Most muslims I know got married in white. Don't assume that just because she's Muslim it will be a Muslim wedding.

Muslim wedding traditions are pretty diverse, just like Christian (actually probably more). Even within the same country there can be massive differences between social classes.