What would you say about the division of labour in our house?

[HTKB]

Long and boring.

I work 23 hours a week over 2 days. On my work days I am out of the house before kids wake (18mo and 5) and back after they are asleep. DH gets them up and dressed and to CM and picks them up, baths and bed and cooks us dinner (usually heating up something I have made)

DH works full time, out of house 0810 - 1850 every day. On my non work days he gets up at 0630, dresses kids and gives them breakfast, wakes me up at 0730 with a cuppa. Chat/family hang out time til 0810, he leaves then I get ready, do school run, day with toddler and dog etc. When he gets in at 1850 I've bathed them, he takes over for story time for both whilst I tidy and cook dinner.

He then may do occasional chores like empty bins. We eat, both clear up kitchen and are sitting down just after 8.

I food plan, shop, cook, do 80% of laundry, day to day admin, day to day cleaning (we have a cleaner 3 hours a week). He does all bins, DIY, gardening, some laundry, big financial admin, cars.

Sound fair?

Sound very fair to me.

It sounds almost identical to our division of jobs and childcare, though I work those hours over 3 days rather than 2. We are happy with our arrangements so I would say fair!

Yes very fair

your dh sounds pretty full on, does he get any down time at all? And does your toddler go to the cm when you are not working?

Seems fair to me. Lovely of your dh to have kids up and ready on your days off!

Sounds fine to me as well.

It sounds like your husband is up at 06:30 every day - and then on the go one way or another until the kids are in bed. You are up v early 2 days a week and likewise busy until the kids are asleep. Sounds a little balanced in your favour.

Sounds pretty bloody good to me. On the face of its pretty equal.

Are you happy with It?
Why he you started this thread?

Very reasonable. What's your issue?

I've read it again if anything it is balanced in your favour. He gets them up every day whilst you lie in. He's also sharing tasks as soon as he gets home and he takes some chores at the weekend. You both sit down at 8 but he always gets up an hour earlier.

I'd say it's weighted more favourably towards you.

Actually yes on reread - would have to agree with the others, it favours you!

Sounds v fair to me OP

Wow, he's good. I do all washing, ironing, shopping, cooking, cleaning, gardening, homework with son, taking son to clubs, etc etc and I work too

More or less sounds like us, although I do 99.5% of the laundry, have to get up before 7 and I work my 22.5 hours over 3 days. My husband does a lot like yours. And actually I worry sometimes does he get any "down time" I do usually spend two hours of my two days off in the week doing something I want to. He does make me a cup of tea every morning whilst I'm drying my hair, bless him!

Sounds fair to me OP.

I think I get off pretty lightly with housework, OH does what he can but works long hours. I work 15 hours a week and my youngest is 17.
I do the laundry, bath/floors hoovering. OH tidies the kitchen every night, runs dishwasher, empties bins. I handle family finances.
Weekends does all the cooking ( which he loves), I don't set foot in the kitchen Sat and Sunday.

Hmm. I'd say it favours you ever so slightly as you never have to do mornings with the kids - if I were you I'd do those on DH's days off so he gets a lie in. Otherwise I think it's pretty much fair. I tend to think childcare should always be split 50-50 as far as possible regardless of working hours as it's beneficial for all family members, and I'd say your chore split is about right given you have a cleaner. Seems like a nice set up!

I tend to think childcare should always be split 50-50 as far as possible regardless of working hours

Ideally, but that's just not possible in many families.
I was a SAHM for years, no family support, and OH worked very long hours and often gone with work for weeks at a time.

We do what we have to do.

@Cailleach666 That's why I said "as far as possible".

Pretty similar to ours

I'm a SAHM (doing a degree too) DH will give children (2&4) their breakfast if they get up whilst he's up and getting ready then he wakes me up. I do most of the school runs (except for when DH is working from home, his boss actively encourages him to take part in it which is nice!).
I do all the admin/cooking/shopping/cleaning/laundry etc
DH takes our the bins, feeds the cat, and does all our ironing (usually watching Strictly or GoT so it's not too huge a chore ) he also does bed and bath time.
This is a normal week

DH does work away a lot on other weeks though e.g. Sometimes leaving on a Monday and getting back on a Friday , 2/3 nights away some weeks etc. Obviously on those weeks I do everything else

I think it's pretty fair in our house.

And weekends he gets up with the little ones, he's naturally an early riser (I'm born to hibernate). Sometimes I get breakfast.

Is this one of those threads where it's actually the husband writing it?

I would say you get a good deal OP, as whilst your 2 days working are very intense, it's still part time and you get the rest of the week off, although I acknowledge entertaining a toddler is hard work and tiring. Your dh seems pretty hands on though given he's working full time.

I think it would even it out if you did one of those 6.30 get ups on your days off, unless you're doing night time waking still with your younger dc, or he actually wants to do it so he sees more of kids.

Kind of need to know who has the complaint.

It doesn't really matter if anyone thinks it's fair or not, it's whether you're both happy with the situation and it sounds like you are so all is good!

It doesn't really matter if anyone thinks it's fair or not, it's whether you're both happy with the situation and it sounds like you are so all is good!

Thanks guys for your input.

There isn't a complaint from either of us but I'm starting to feel I'm taking the piss a bit. Mainly where the mornings are concerned. I am not an early bird, DH is, and there isn't room in our kitchen for four people to sit at the table easily without moving furniture around (which we do at the weekend and we have an extension happening next year). It's a hangover really from when I was doing night wakings, but I am not any more.

I did the wake up on Monday as DH was shattered and it made me start thinking maybe I am slacking a bit. I know in my heart DH does more than me because that's how he is wired. He loves being busy and having projects whereas I like sitting down! So naturally he will do a bit more but I don't want it to be in taking the piss territory.

I should say it's complicated a bit by the fact I sometimes work nights and weekends so it's not exactly as written here....he always gets the weekend lie in if there is only one one to be had and I'm working the other weekend day for instance. But yes, feel I need to do more in the mornings particularly! Or at least offer.