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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...about animal cruelty at school today?

80 replies

AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 19/09/2017 20:08

NC. My DC13 is at a large state secondary. At school today a little bird - possibly already ill or injured - landed in the playground. Before my DC could even try to help or move it, it was stamped upon to suffering and then to death by an older and bigger pupil, a boy. It was a deliberate act of cruelty rather than putting it out of its misery. Other pupils including my DC screamed and scattered. My DC couldn't find a member of staff to report it to at the time, and doesn't know the boy or even his name. When my DC returned, the bird had obviously been kicked about and was in pieces. My DC was in tears about it when they got home, and I don't think it will ever be forgotten. My DC is an animal lover, but also abhors any sort of cruelty.

I have comforted my DC and spoken to them about why this boy might have done what he did, and advised them to avoid him in the future. I have suggested that they could have reported it to staff later, but I think they spent the rest of the day in shock after witnessing that.

How common is this kind of cruelty in schools? My concern is also about and for the boy who did it - why, and what else is going on with him and perhaps at home? My instinct is to report it to the Head. Am I overreacting? AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 19/09/2017 22:50

I was particularly glad of responses from posters who work in schools, about how this would probably be viewed. I was concerned about being seen as one of those parents, making a fuss about nothing. To me and my DC, it's not nothing. Thanks for the reassurances, kind words, support and different experiences/perspectives.

OP posts:
kali110 · 19/09/2017 23:06

Hope your son is ok!
Def report, hopefully they find the nasty little git Angry
Poor poor bird. Makes me sick that people do these things.

Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 19/09/2017 23:12

Thanks kali. My DC has stayed upset, but hopefully will feel better after some sleep.

OP posts:
5foot5 · 19/09/2017 23:16

I later learned that this is quite commonly seen as humane in certain circles as opposed to prolonging suffering and abject fear in a wild creature very unlikely to survive

Take your point but I think it's pretty clear this was not an act of mercy so much as one of sick, sadistic pleasure.

I went to a state secondary in a very rural area in the 70s where many of the pupils may not have been over sentimental about animals. However I don't recall ever seeing anything as horrible as this.

I think I would let his form teacher know he had been upset by an incident in the playground when a bird was stamped to death and needed reassurance that the school took It seriously. Hopefully that should set something in motion.

BeatriceBeaudelaire · 19/09/2017 23:25

I would have been sobbing. I remember when I was at secondary and boys were using cigarette papers and putting bugs in them and setting fire to them - I hate bugs but they didn't deserve that.
I also would've fainted at the scene your son saw. Go into school and demand the cctv is used and the boy punished

Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 20/09/2017 00:45

Thanks 5 and Bea. My DC kept 'seeing' the images and has only just settled. Fingers crossed for a good sleep and no nightmares.

OP posts:
HangingRock · 20/09/2017 12:17

Did you report it?

BackieJerkhart · 20/09/2017 12:21

My DC isn't a Walter Softie by any means, but this has really upset them

It wouldn't matter if he was, (far rather have a nation of Walters than a nation of bird killers!) what he saw was horrible. Anyone would be upset by that. I would be worried if my DC saw that and wasn't upset.

StickThatInYourPipe · 20/09/2017 12:28

Sorry i can't read anymore - that's awful and it's horris your dc had to witness that.

WTAF is wrong with people? Report it to the school OP if you don't know who the kids were, hopefully they will do an assembly and someone will admit to knowing who did it. YADDDDDDDDDNBU

flippinada · 20/09/2017 12:35

Reporting it is a good idea. I have a DS the same age and he would be the same, I think it's a natural and healthy reaction to find deliberate cruelty upsetting.

lookingbeyond40 · 20/09/2017 12:35

Did you report it today OP? I hope your son went to school ok. What a vile thing to witness. X

cudeatahorse · 20/09/2017 12:38

Isolation for killing a spider is way way over the top. Talk about a power trip
I agree.

I'm horrified about the bird though.
That's plain nasty and cruel.

MagdalenLaundry · 20/09/2017 12:39

What a horrible thing to witness
For those calling the child a little shit, you need to take a long hard look at yourselves
My child suffered trauma in childhood and would be cruel to animals. They needed a lot of love guidance and supervision
The child who did this to the bird has suffered cruelty and needs help
They are not a little shit

cudeatahorse · 20/09/2017 12:41

Where do you stand on mosquitoes, cockroaches, bed bugs, rats, pigeons, head lice? Just curious how "animal friendly" your home is in real life.

Me too.
What do you do when a mosquito is buzzing round your room?
I open the window, carefully scoop it up and put it out.
After all, it's a living creature.

Norma27 · 20/09/2017 13:13

When I was at school a boy tortured and killed a frog. Iirc he was severely punished at school which included having to do classes with the year below instead of his own year.
I would definitely report. That must have been awful to witness.

cudeatahorse · 20/09/2017 14:10

I remember as a child finding a baby sparrow in the garden.
I nursed it in a shoebox for 3 days, but it eventually died and I cried for days.
It was my first experience with grief and it hurt.
OP I hope your child is OK Flowers

Yerroblemom1923 · 20/09/2017 14:59

What the Laundry lady said.... this is not what normal children do... there's a lot more to it and for the child's sake it needs looming into.

Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 20/09/2017 16:51

Thank you everyone. Just an update. I have reported it today. I felt they took it seriously. They are going to try to find out who the boy is. There was a feeling that someone else who witnessed it might have reported it and know who the boy is. Failing that there is CCTV. I will update again if I hear anything further.

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Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 20/09/2017 17:15

My DC is still troubled by what they saw and had a nightmare about it last night. I hope it helps that they know I understand and have done something about it by reporting it. We have talked a bit more and although we can't help that poor little bird we can do something to help birdlife generally. We have a couple of birdtables in our garden and usually feed our local birds anyway, but we've made a pact to buy bird food supplies this weekend to help them start getting ready for winter.

OP posts:
Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 20/09/2017 17:36

We have talked more about the boy. My DC feels angry towards him, and said they wanted to thump him or throw something at him at the time. I've said I can understand this, (and feel a bit like that too!), but my DC has been brought up to know that violence isn't the answer except as a last resort to defend yourself or someone else. I've pointed out it's not my DC's job to punish the boy, but to report it and stand up against cruelty when they can. I've said I feel sorry for the boy in one way, to have it in his heart and mind to do that cruel unnecessary thing, that perhaps he's not been set a good example at home, perhaps he has psychological problems, or something very bad is going on for him outside of school. I don't want to excuse the boy's actions in any way to my DC, but I am trying to help them understand it, and I don't want them to grow up with a 'pitchfork mentality' either.

OP posts:
Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 20/09/2017 18:01

The boy walked over calmly and was laughing while he stamped on the little bird. I really hope the school means what it says, identifies him, and he gets the appropriate levels of punishment, help and future supervision. I also hope the other pupils who witnessed it are spoken to, because I think this sort of thing usually sticks in your memory.

OP posts:
flippinada · 20/09/2017 19:08

Is awful you're having to deal with this and that your DS saw this horrible act of cruelty.

I just want to say, it sounds like you've raised a lovely, thoughtful boy and you're dealing with this incredibly well - which is not an easy thing to do Flowers

13bastards · 20/09/2017 19:18

Report it. The evil little fucker needs to be stopped.

Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 20/09/2017 23:58

Thanks again - one of the things I like about mumsnet is the range of responses, from the very kind words to the very blunt!

OP posts:
Original poster
AsSummerTurnsToAutumn · 22/09/2017 00:45

Just an update. Without going into too much detail, the boy has been identified, spoken to and significantly punished, and his parents informed. My DC and I feel that school have taken it seriously and have acted appropriately. School quickly had a name, which tells me we were not alone in our concerns and in reporting it. It has left us feeling that we can have confidence in the school. We can only hope that the boy will learn from it and not repeat this sort of behaviour.

Thank you to all the posters above for kindly bothering to reply, and for your understanding, advice and support. Flowers

OP posts: