To ask you to help me be a better mum?

[Whatdoidoo]

I feel so shit for posting this so have had to NC

DD is five months old. She's the smiliest baby and so lovely and I don't feel like I deserve her. I think I don't do enough with her, which is most likely true. I'll try to explain.

DP and I were both brought up in a tiny village with the closest town being 2 hours away. We both finished school when I found out (soon after) that I was pregnant (just turned 19 when found out). We both live in said village as we love the community here. However, there is nowhere to take DD. Nowhere. There's no mother-toddler groups, no soft play, nothing. DD wants my attention all of the time but I find it so tedious. I love her more than anything but I am bored of playing with her every waking hour. I don't know what I can do with her. I hate it when she's not there, I miss her terribly, but I find talking to her for ages so tedious. I feel awful for saying it but it's true. I don't know what else I can do with her though, as there's nothing here TO do. Is there stuff I should buy her to entertain her? I'd rather us do stuff together but what can we do together? I don't want her to not love me, she's my world and I don't want to fail her

That sounds really difficult. Are there other villages nearby that do have groups you could attend?

Is there anyone else in your village with a baby? Could you go over to each others houses? I think most mums benefit from seeing other mums-either at organised groups or just seeing friends with kids. Its great to have someone to offload to and as children get older for them to interact with.

Do you have any family or friends who will sometimes look after your baby for you to give you a break? Everyone needs a break sometime. Even if it's just a hour or so-gives you a chance to be something other than 'mum'.

It does get easier as they get older.
The fact you are bothered about your baby's development and clearly love my them very much suggests you are probably doing way better than you think you are.

First of all, she is five months old. She is still very small. I know this gets trotted out on here a lot, but:do you have a sling? Babies are very portable at this age so just take her wherever you feel like going. Also, this is a chance to blather away to her. You can say any inane thing to her that you want and she will love it because you said it.And it is ok to find parts tedious and boring. That's just parenthood.

You don't need anyone to help you be a "better" mum. You sound like a wonderful mum. You are not failing her.

Baby/toddler groups are a relatively new thing - babies have thrived for a long time without them. At that age especially, all babies really need/want is their mum/dad. When your DD is older she will have plenty of time for social interaction with other children. It's not your fault there are no baby groups.

Don't feel shit - you have literally said nothing bad at all. You love her but being at home all day is tedious - I honestly think most people would relate to that and feel exactly the same way.

It's totally normal to feel inadequate and worried about "failing" them - it shows how much you love her and how you want to do everything you can for her. You sound like you are doing an absolutely brilliant job.

Pressed post too soon. I found with my first that walks were good. If you look at things from the perspective of someone who is new to the world they can seem more interesting.

I also second the pp who asks if there is anyone who can take her so you can have a break.

You sound like a lovely mum fwiw.

You sound like you're doing fine! As she gets older, she will become more interested in toys, and the world around them. Much easier to distract/entertain/get out and about. In the meantime, slings are great, and long walks are great!

My LO is five months and demanding of my time, so I completely get you. If you check out Baby Sensory on Pintrest, you can make a whole load of exciting, independent and time consuming things for your baby really cheaply. We also walk quite a bit.

My suggestion would just be to get out of the house and walk.

I pounded the pavements when DC1 was a baby, and then again when he was a toddler and DC2 arrived. Morning and afternoon.

Quite honestly, it was all about killing time when they're that age.

Walking in the pram tends to stop any whinging and crying, it passes time, and it helps you by giving you some fresh air, exercise and easing the cabin fever.

What you're experiencing is completely and totally normal! You're not a bad Mum at all.

You are not failing her. They really don't need much other than the attention of a carer at that age, but you need to stop yourself going insane. Lots of people find babies boring. 40 year old, high flying business women too, so don't feel insecure about your age.

Agree with PP about sling or buggy and walk. However, having lived in a very rural village I realise it might be difficult even to walk anywhere if the local roads are not safe for walking.

How often do the busses run? Can you afford to get the bus into town a few days a week just for a change of scene. Library, duck pond, playground etc are free if you can just get there.

I think there is an app now called Mush or something to help new mums meet. Would that be possible?