To think it's possible that being overweight could be genetic?

[hooliodancer]

In the last few years I have started to look more and more like my late mum, to the point that I now look in the mirror and see her in my clothes, which is a bit disconcerting.

My body shape has changed radically since perimenopause started. I am now exactly the same shape and size as she was at my age.

The thing is, I exercise like a bastard (4 or 5 times a week), do Pilates, eat healthily 90% of the time, walk when I can. She ate quite badly (1970's diet if you see what I mean plus loads of chocolate bars) drove everywhere and went to one exercise class in her life (keep fit at the village hall in 1977 .She hated it.)

But at the same age we look exactly the same despite totally different lifestyles.

I have struggled with my weight (as she did) all my life. At key weight putting on times (puberty, giving up smoking , now menopause) my body seems to grab all the weight it can!

It makes me want to give up this constant struggle and just accept what I look like now. Despite all the exercise and the seeds and nuts and avocados I'm still a short fat person.

It feels like my body WANTS to be a size 14. I was size 10 until 4 years ago and I haven't changed what I eat or my exercise regime.

Is it all down to genetics?

It doesn't make sense though. Go back to the 1970's & there wasn't as many larger people as there are now.
Probably a mixture of ready meals, lack of exercise & cakes

I would be an acceptable weight if I didn't have huge boobs and flipping cankles!

I have impossibly giant breasts and am still in a healthy BMI now I have portion control.

I think genetics play a part - some people can be pre-disposed to losing or gaining weight more easily than others. I do think that there are people who can genuinely eat what they like and not gain weight, but I also think that these people are a tiny minority. I know a chap who does not exercise at all, eats loads of sweets, puddings, carbs, drinks regularly etc. Does not gain an ounce - nothing at all.

But I think it's far more common that 'naturally slim' people are actually more active and eating less than people realise. A big part of this is portion sizes - in most restaurants they are absolutely ridiculous.

We adopted our DC. Around the time that we were being assessed I did loads of reading, because I always do when I'm interested in a subject. One of the research studies I read was about the correlation between the weights of parents and children. There is a positive correlation in birth families, so overweight parents are more likely to have overweight children than healthy weigh parents. Which makes sense because in the same family the children have the same lifestyle and eat roughly the same diet as their parents. However they found (with a smallish sample admittedly) that there was no correlation between the weight of adoptive parents and the weight of their DC, but there was a correlation between the weight of birth parents and the children.

I don't think it is as simple as calories, calories out for many people.

There can be all sorts of endocrine factors, or food sensitivities that are at play.

Have you had you thyroid checked?

Try reading about oestrogen dominance, it's quite interesting.

You could try seeing a dietician for advice - they can help you do elimination diets to see if anything is interfering with your metabolism or causing inflammation.

The Whole30 is also a very good elimination diet and its resources are free on the Whole30.com I lost 3 stone on it!

You could also be deficient in some vitamins or minerals. Have you had bloods checked by the GP?

Of course it could be genetic and is very likely to be the case in some instances. A large part of it is down to experience though, so growing up in a household where obesity and a bad diet are normal will more likely lead to the child to view these things as normal when older.

There are things like metabolic rate which can run in the family - we all know of someone who can't lose weight despite claiming they eat healthily and exercise, and someone else who is incredibly thin despite stuffing themselves at every opportunity.

People have different natural weights, and like other resemblances can run in the family. We acknowledge height and eye colour and diseases and physical traits are sometimes passed down through the generations; it may not be politically correct but is common-sense that "natural" weight/size can be passed down too.

That's not to say that you can't become obese even if you are naturally thin, of course you can. Likewise if you come from a fat family, you have the ability to eat healthily and exercise to try to avoid being overweight. But it will be harder, and results won't be as good as someone more fortunate than you might expect.

Despite all the exercise and the seeds and nuts and avocados

Well "seeds and nuts and avocados" are all good for you but have a very high fat content.

Like you I started to put on weight at menopause, so I began to eat smaller portions. I'll never by the lithe young thing I was before, but I did lose a fair bit of the excess weight.

All my family and DHs are slim. We are slim and so are DC. None of my family has ever dieted as far as I know and apart from one of my DC who is very sporty, no great exercisers.

I still don't think it's genetic, I think it's eating habits and activity has very little effect.

I grew up on a 1960s diet which was quite stodgy and sugar heavy but there were no snacks or takeaways. I recently pointed out to DS that the first time I ever went to a restaurant I was 18!

I think when people 'live on rubbish' 'eat what they want' etc, it's perception.

For example, I only really eat in public. I will be the first at the cakes at work, eat a big meal when out, have any rubbish going. I however NEVER have biscuits at home, no fizzy drinks and eat pretty small meals, possibly only protein, but usually veggie. I bet most people think I can eat what I want/eat rubbish, and indeed I can and do - some of the time. The rest of the time I eat like a thin person.

Plus, I'm very muscular. My body burns more than most because of that. I also ran 30+ miles this week.

Saying it's genetics etc is misleading, but it does help with inclination to move/exercise and I don't feel hungry after eating a fairly small meal.... I just happen to be greedy in public, because no one criticises the skinny girl stuffing her face.

I still don't think it's genetic, I think it's eating habits

Well, when my eating habits were one small meal a day and my bmi was in the normal range (middle of normal, not low)...how would you explain that? Many people would eat one meal a day and be underweight yet I was in my "normal bmi".

There's evidence that it could be epigenetic with effects going back two generations.
So, blame your maternal grandmother.

No I wish or I'd be well skinny.

I do however think it's linked to depression.

Oh, and gut bacteria. Maybe.

I know a family where all the siblings are slim. The only overweight one is the one with a different biological father.

Every single member of my family was slim growing up except me.

Now I consume an appropriate amount of food, I am slim too.

one small meal a day and my bmi was in the normal range what, always? If that's actually true and if it's not more the case that 'one small meal a day' was your base, around which periods of snacking, treats, recovery and possibly bingeing were circled. If you're not 4'10", then I think you need to visit your doctor.

I used to work with a girls who would always say, oh look at you, you're always eating, me I can barely look at a lettuce leaf... with a bag of nut or sweets in front of her. She lived in a parallel universe in her head. I WAS always eating, fruit mainly, with the odd biscuit. I was also running marathons. She wasn't.

It's perception of what you do, what others do and I'm not convinced either is always real.

Have you had your thyroid checked?

For example, I only really eat in public. I will be the first at the cakes at work, eat a big meal when out, have any rubbish going. I however NEVER have biscuits at home, no fizzy drinks and eat pretty small meals, possibly only protein, but usually veggie. I bet most people think I can eat what I want/eat rubbish, and indeed I can and do - some of the time. The rest of the time I eat like a thin person.

Yes, I think this is quite common. In some cases - I'm not saying in yours, as you seem to be happy to use this as a way of keeping treats occasional - it can be quite sad; society puts a lot of pressure on women to be thin but also to be 'chill' about what they eat (no one likes an uptight calorie counter!) so the result is that some women basically only eat in public. See: celebrities, who order cheeseburgers to eat in an interview to prove that they're not starving themselves. That might be the only thing they eat for two days.

I thought my weight gain which is purely down to genetic/age/hormones et cetera

I then went on holiday 12 years in a row of different groups of friends and realised I basically eat more than any of them. Not a whole lot more just all the nibbles and little extras that have over the years turned me pretty fat.

Margaret you're right to say it's my way of keeping treats occasional, and yes it works for me. It's misleading though in the sense, I can't just always eat rubbish, or I'd be fatter. I don't think I'd ever be really fat though as my body stops calling for food after a certain point. Now that is luck and genetics, surely?

I was on a train a few weeks back. There was identical twins sat opposite me. Both were huge... As in size 30+ easily. Both had the same brittle ginger hair, dry pale skin and round dark glasses. They were identical in every possible way. I can only assume they have not eaten the same thinga throughout their lives, yet they have achieved the same level of obesity and unhealthiness. My conclusion from that encounter is that there must be at least a genetic connection. Of course it is down to what you put away and what you burn. But some people really are more predisposed to weight gain. Which both reassures me and frightens me... As someone who is always at least a stone overweight but who, like you, exercises a lot and eats well most of the time.

Yes, I have had my thyroid checked.

I guess my point is that I have a tendency to gain weight. And that I look exactly like my mum now. I used to be a pear shape, now have become an apple. She also had a tendency to gain weight.

I have 2 sisters. One looks like me and our mother. She also has a tendency to gain weight. The other is whippet thin and looks like her dad!

The 1970's diet in her case was more a late 70's one. So lots of processed food, sugar in tea, chocolate bars every day and chips from a huge chip pan most days! And lots of fried chops/gammon/steak.

While genetics may play a role, I think actually hormones are a far more central issue to weight which never seems to be mentioned. We all know that thyroid issues and PCOS affect weight, the pill affects weight etc. I have endometriosis and have been on a host of different hormonal treatments - on some I shot up to size 14/16, on others I went down to a size 6 and I changed literally nothing about my diet or exercise levels. If you genuinely believe you're gaining weight out of proportion to diet and exercise, id look into getting your Thyroid and other hormone levels tested.

I don't know about genetics but I'm sure they will find different reasons than food intake
My mother used to eat carefully to keep her figure. Then she hit menopause and lost so much weight people thought she was ill. At that time, she did no exercise, lived a sedentary lifestyle etc and at some points her doctor asked her to try and put on weight

I was drastically underweight till I was about 27 and thought a chocolate doughnut was a snack, also completely sedentary then due to two desk jobs. If I am following mum's pattern, which I hope I am, I could be skinny again post menopause, I don't know.

She is now nearly 80 and has been happily troughing cake, biccies, chocolate for about ffteen years, on top of her three meals a day, while the doctor spends ages puzzling. She's had liver function tests so many times in the last 20 years. But it's just how she is and a couple of her 8(!) siblings are the same.

I'm on meds so have to control my food intake carefully, but my older sister is very slim and eats dessert with lunch and dinner every day. At one point I was quite jealous of both of them but I'm over it now.its weird of me because they think I don't eat enough but I'm kind of stuck because of my meds, I can't eat more. I like working out but I can imagine it must be a horrible chore for those who don't and just do it for health or figure or whatever.

I am so hoping I follow mum's genes if that's a thing! I can't lie, I'd love to be size 8 again.

PS should also add I lost weight in six months of recovering from spinal injury. Of course some was muscle but not that much! I honestly think the fact that my hormones were even more out of whack must be connected. I was sedentary but ate more than normal, partly because I was eating other people's cooking and dudnt worry about calories. Spinal fluid has an effect on the brain I think, and possibly certain glands?

I also question the activity thing because working while helping my brain, doesn't seem to make any difference when I look at the period I was completely unable to do it. It was about eight months between the accident and actually starting even a little jog.