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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get my heart set on a house

13 replies

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 19/09/2017 13:09

HTB and I are going to view a property (the first house we've even bothered booking a viewing for) on Saturday. Online it is everything we want in a house and well within our budget. I know we're both secretly hoping it's 'the one' as it looks amazing. However WIBU to plump for the first house we see? AIBU for getting my hopes up?!

OP posts:

coddiwomple · 19/09/2017 13:17

try to view a couple before that one!

a bit YABU, you can end up really disappointed by what you see in real life. Even if you like it, go and view a few more to compare. There's no reason why you can't buy the first house you see of course. If you have done your research well, and are strict in your requirements, there's no need to view 35 houses before you find "the one", but it still is worth comparing.

I saw 3 houses in total before buying my current one, but I did spend hours on rightmove and zoopla and only booked viewings when I was sure.

LaurieMarlow · 19/09/2017 13:31

Yes you are being unreasonable to get your hopes up. Buying a house is an emotional roller-coaster. You need to protect yourself from all the many things that could go wrong (place could be a dump in reality, you could be outbid, vendor could pull it). For your own sanity, try not to get emotionally attached.

However YANBU to go for the first house you see. it's a soul destroying process so don't pass up something that's right for you because it's the first.

peachgreen · 19/09/2017 13:56

In the kindest way YABU, only because you'll end up getting hurt if you don't get it, plus it puts you in a bad position when it comes to making an offer. I speak from experience! Besides, you might find it's a very different prospect when you actually see it in person.

But good luck!

HoHoHoHo · 19/09/2017 14:01

I think it's a myth that you shouldn't go for the first thing you see. Go with an open mind - if it is as perfect as you think then don't turn it down just because its the first.
.

Osirus · 19/09/2017 14:04

I know how you feel. We were recently part of a bidding war on some land - absolutely loved it. We were the highest bidder by £7k. The seller sold it to his neighbour for a lower price. So disappointed - we had everything ready to proceed.

We think he always intended to do that but stuck it on the market to force his neighbour to pay more.

m4rdybum · 19/09/2017 14:06

We've begun the process of buying the one and only house we've actually looked at - because it was perfect for us. We did it completely on a whim we only went to look at it to shut MIL up.

Ended up loving it - was the size we wanted and in the exact location.

BUT we're so wary even talking about it at the minute. We've making plans for decorating but every time we say 'so when we move in...' we always have to touch wood Stupid superstitious nonsense but we can't help it.

I think it's always good to remember that nothing is set in stone until you've got the keys, that things can fall through, and that you may not even manage to get into the process because someone could offer more than you. As long as you remember there's a chance for disappointment, I would say if it seems like the one, go for it.

GrockleBocs · 19/09/2017 14:09

I've bought the only house I viewed more than once
Haven't regretted it. But any house buying is a roller coaster so be prepared.

Mrswalliams1 · 19/09/2017 14:14

We've just brought the first house we saw. From viewing it online we just knew it was the one. Good luck

guilty100 · 19/09/2017 14:18

Don't set your heart on it. So much can go wrong. And there are always, always other lovely houses. Even though it feels devastating to lose one that you really like, sometimes it works out for the best.

However, do allow yourself to be a little bit excited! It's a huge thing to be doing!

NearLifeExperience · 19/09/2017 14:31

If you know and like the area, and are sure the house is priced properly, then put in an offer if you like it after viewing it. Good to see a couple of others for comparison, though.

Don't get too excited, though, things can go wrong. I've had my heart broken several times over houses that never happened

bigsighall · 19/09/2017 16:04

The last 2 houses we bought were the only ones we looked at each time. The one we are currently (hopefully!) buying was also the only one we looked at this time round! My friends think we are mad.

FourForYouGlenCoco · 19/09/2017 16:18

When we bought our last house we must have looked at 20+ houses. Finally we got so fed up we pretty much bought the next one we viewed just so we could stop!
When we bought the house we currently live in, it was the first one we'd seen. We had a 15-minute viewing, told the estate agent we'd put in an official offer on Monday, and did exactly that. We'd been looking on rightmove for months and knew that the house would tick lots of boxes for us and we wouldn't get anywhere better for our money, so rather than be cautious, lose the house and potentially wait months for another decent place to crop up, we just went for it. Absolutely no regrets!
Agree with people saying not to get too emotionally attached though. We very nearly lost this house and I was gutted - should have protected myself a bit more tbh. Was very lucky it worked out in the end.

Original poster

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 19/09/2017 20:42

Thanks all! I know I have a habit of being overly-optimistic and romantising things, and then getting disappointed when things aren't as I'd hoped, so it helps to have people be honest!

It's a cottage and HTB is 6'3 so we might find it's just simply too small for him when we get there I suppose. And you never know what will happen with mortgages etc I guess.

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