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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect rsvps to wedding invites

24 replies

luchinka · 05/04/2007 14:43

nearly two months after they've gone out and six weeks before the big day? Considering these people will have to fly here, they'll have to book a flight, so you'd think they'd have some idea of whether they're coming by now. They have an addressed envelope, all they have to do is put a stamp on it. I understand they may not want to pay for flights and hotel to come, but that's fine, all I want to know is if they're coming. AIBU? or just getting obsessed with it all?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 05/04/2007 14:44

yes you are (unfortunately) - people are useless at sending rsvp - you just have to phone them ask - annoying and inconvenient but that's the way it is IME

vimfuego · 05/04/2007 14:44

YANBU

KatyTheProcrastinator · 05/04/2007 14:46

No I don't think you're being unreasonable.
I think unless you've organised a wedding yourself fairly recently you don't know (or remember) how stressful it all is, how much uncertainty you are dealing with, and how much of the planning revolves around who is coming.
Did you put a date to RSVP by?

Dior · 05/04/2007 14:48

Message withdrawn

FoghornLeghorn · 05/04/2007 14:48

I wanted to keep all of my RSVP's so I sent out stamped addressed reply cards and I still had to chase people about them. That's just the way it goes unfortunately - annoying when there is so much going on around you already, just another job to add to the list but unfortunately people aren't as bothered about your big day as you are ime

Hassled · 05/04/2007 14:49

I've had a similiar experience in the run up to my wedding (a week today!)- people are just crap about getting around to RSVPs which normally I would completely understand but have got myself into Bridezilla mode and want answers now!. I should just ring them and politely check the invite got there - that should get a response out of them.

Original poster
luchinka · 05/04/2007 14:49

yes, although(guilty face) it's still 2 weeks away so they've still got time technically. I think it's because I'm so anal myself I can't understand why you would leave it so late to organise things. some of these people have even been in touch since to send e mail jokes etc but not a peep about if they're coming.

OP posts:
Original poster
luchinka · 05/04/2007 14:52

the rsvp date I mean, not the wedding....then I would be going mad!

OP posts:
booge · 05/04/2007 14:53

No you're not being unreasonable, it is only polite to let you know one way or the other as you need to make arrangements, sadly though you always have to chase, we did.

FioFio · 05/04/2007 14:54

This reply has been deleted

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bozza · 05/04/2007 14:59

I originally thought no, but now I realise it is not yet the RSVP by date I think yes YABU. However I am sure that in 2 weeks times you will be able to do another thread and I will be able to say no UANBU.

mylittlestar · 05/04/2007 15:02

agree with bozza

cat64 · 05/04/2007 15:02

This reply has been deleted

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kimiTheEasterBunny · 05/04/2007 15:05

No you are not.
It is very rude for people not to reply.
I think you are going to have to phone round.
Good luck with the big day.

Original poster
luchinka · 05/04/2007 15:28

I just think, would you leave booking the flight that late, and if not then why not drop me an e mail when you book the flight? It's what i'd do.

OP posts:
KatyTheProcrastinator · 05/04/2007 15:42

Yes, good point, I'd maybe not have 'officially' replied by then but I'd let them know I was coming, and would be sending a reply very soon.

KickingEasterAngel · 05/04/2007 15:52

many receptions require final numbers & a deposit a few weeks in advance so I ALWAYS let people know asap what is happening. and stick to my original answer. not fair to stress people out.
YANBU

EHM · 05/04/2007 15:53

Not unreasonable at all. My SIL booked her evening reception & catering based on the amount of RSVP's she received. An extra 40 people turn up that evening, how rude, she was soo stressed as she was afraid there wouldn't be enough food. I also know people who invite other people based on the fact that the original person who was invited didn't respond.

Tommy · 05/04/2007 15:55

when we got married, I hadn't heard from one friend and eventually I phoned her and she said "Oh - I was afraid you would phone about the invite - we can't come"

Dih - not a problem, but I would like to have been told!

It is very rude and you are not being unreasonable

EasterChickenBunny · 05/04/2007 16:02

Our best man's fiancee didn't reply, despite our chasing it up.
When we still hadn't heard by the week before, we got so frustrated that in the end we said she couldn't come to the meal, but would be welcome at night.
She didn't bother.
No great loss to anyone

It was the last thing I needed as my Gran died the week before my wedding, and I had enough aggro organising without dealing withsomeone who couldn't even be arsed replying

kimiTheEasterBunny · 05/04/2007 16:37

DH1s family are pig rude about things like this you have to ring them every time..... solution we no longer invite them to things!

VoluptuaGoodshag · 05/04/2007 16:40

No - it is just plain rude not to reply.

Original poster
luchinka · 05/04/2007 18:35

my thoughts exactly. thank you
So many things are dependent on numbers and need to be confirmed soon.

OP posts:
LittleEasterLapin · 05/04/2007 18:37

Oh, this reminds me so much of having to chase people up for our wedding... I got so fed up I was calling/texting saying "Look, are you coming or what?!" Guilted the living daylights out of them.

You have my sympathies... Have a lovely wedding, BTW!

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