AIBU to think I won't meet anyone?

[foreverspinster]

I'm 38 single mother and it's suddenly just dawned on me I'm going to be alone forever or at least for the next 10 years or so until I'm child free and able to have a life!

I spilt from ex husband 9 years ago in in that time I had one 2 year relationship (that ended 3 years ago)

I'm on dating sites and get lots of messages but I only tend to reply to one in every 50 or so and most the time that's half hearted and if we manage to get a convo going I usually rule them out on the first date.

I work alone and I don't go anywhere except the odd meal out for friends Birthday, usually a week night and not the kind of place to meet anyone

I look around and everyone I know who has been a single parent has moved on and met someone got married etc, at the weekend a friend who was a single mother to 5 got married and is so happy!

I honestly don't think I'm ever going to happen, I'm not being big headed but I am attractive enough, not a stunner but I scrub up well and turn heads helped by the fact I do have a very attractive feature yet nothing!! It's been two years since my last sniff of a man, don't get me wrong I'm not bitter or unhappy but I would now like to actually settle down in a couple

My 1st H left when I was 36 and our children were 5 and 2. I couldn't see how I would possibly meet anyone else. I'd just started down the OLD route when my boss asked me out - bam!
Unfortunately he died earlier this year, I'm now 45 with 14 and 11 yo's and feeling much the same.
I'm sure I'll meet someone at some point, but I don't know how or where!

Not just me then.

Chasing im really sorry to hear that

I sometimes think I should actually go out and get a job (currently self employed and work alone) but it would mean a huge pay cut for more hours

I don't think having a job necessarily helps (although obviously I met LATE-DH there).
I suppose it does expand your social circle but there must be other ways of doing that.
Taking a pay cut for more idea doesn't sound a good idea.

Do you take the initiative on dating sites? That might lead to a better hit rate.

... pay cut for more HOURS ...

Yes I do message the few I come across online, we then exchange messages and either we don't seem to click or if we do meet then I always don't have any desire to see them again, to be honest dating sites are awful and rarely find anyone I'm even half interested in, then tinder is just swiping yes and doesn't really seem to he s convo starter.

I'd had 4 serious relationships over 30 years, found myself single at 51 with grown up kids and a teenager, thought I was on the scrap heap! Was re-introduced to someone who id known but not dated when I was 15. 18 months down the line we live together and are very happy. Never say never OP!

OP I sympathise but also, I'm desperate to know what the very attractive feature is!

Yes I too am curious about what your attractive feature is! I have lovely boobs. Just saying.

The fact is you are only going to meet someone decent if you get out there, dating sites are no good.
Have a hobby, get your friends to invite you to barbeques etc, join a club.
There is no such thing as hopeless.

I feel the same as you OP, how old are your children? I have one 10 year old, but I can't get out much as babysitters are expensive and family help me out with childcare for work so I don't like to ask them for social as they already do enough. I tried OLD dating too but after several years of that I found it was making me really jaded and cynical and lowered my self esteem. About a year ago I had a semi relationship with a guy from work but he was really just using me on the rebound from his divorce. That seems to have really cemented how frustrated I feel about ever finding someone genuine, who might show some sort of interest in me and my son. It's very lonely. I try to tell myself i'm grateful for what I've got and on the whole i'm happy enough to be on my own and away from man drama, but this isn't what i'd hoped for in life when I was younger. Not sure what the answer is but to carry on with life as best you can and try not to think about it too much. It's not easy though

I feel like this. At the moment I'm pretty happy though and don't really want anyone in my life. When my teenagers are grown up and home though I'm sure this will change. I honestly don't think I'll meet anyone in the area I live at the moment though.

My older ones are secondary age and I have a 3 year old! Babysitters are not a issue I have great support so can get out just have nowhere to go!

Friends all married so have own life's etc and don't tend to throw parties etc where singles would be.

I would just like to actually meet some people and go out on dates etc

I've been a single parent most of my adult life. I had a 7 year relationship on my 30s and have been single 9 years now. I pretend to people that I'm too busy with the children to find romance. But the truth is, men just aren't interested in me. I feel invisible when I do go out. I don't even get a second look. I'm lucky I that do have my children so I'm not really lonely. Although a bit of adult company would be nice.
A family member got married recently and I was so sad that I'll never get to experience my own wedding.