10 year old daughter and My Fitness Pal

[whyowhyiwhy]

Disclaimer- posting for a friend.

DD has spent the weekend with her fitness enthusiast father. We split a few years back and among other issues he was controlling around food. I was constantly told I was too fat and should diet etc.

Fast forward 2 years and he now says same to our 10 year old DD.

This morning on her iPhone I see a notification from My Fitness Pal (which he has installed without my knowledge on her phone) reminding her to log her food and weigh herself this morning.

DD refused breakfast this morning and went to school having only had water.

AIBU that 'My Fitness Pal' isn't designed for children and at 10 years old (and a sporty and active child), this isn't something I can support?

He is furious with me that I've deleted the app and am cross with him.

AIBU?

Why do does a 10 year old have an iPhone?
Why do you allow your child to spend time with someone you say is abusive?

The message that he is giving her is terrible. I don't think a ten year old should be using it, no. With parental support, so they understand that logging foods for children is different for adults etc.

Helpful, @lawnofdelray

lawnofdelray where do I say he was abusive? Our relationship didn't work out.

It's an old iPhone. She walks to and from school- all all the children in her year do and have phones.

YANBU. He's telling your daughter she's fat? To be honest I think you should maybe get some professional advice, though I'm not entirely sure where from - maybe the GP or school nurse. He could easily cause her to develop anxiety or an eating disorder. What a disgusting man even if she were overweight, and it sounds like she's not, this would not be the way to handle it!

He says that he is supporting the DC to be more healthy. He frames this as concern. I understand this but disagree with putting this app on her phone. I also think getting her to be obsessed with calorie counting and weight at 10 years old is dangerous.

To be fair OP I would consider contastantly telling your partner that they're fat and need to diet borderline abusive but I imagine you never believed he would start on his 10 year old daughter ffs.

I'd be inclined to visit her GP with her, and ask the GP (in front of DD) whether mfp is a suitable app for DD to be using at 10. I've no doubt that the gp will say no, and reassure your DD about her weight.

Again..... Why has a 10 year old got an iPhone? Give them these things too early then they have access to the world to early !

This is fucking irresponsible. I am so angry on your DD's behalf.

MFP is not for 10 year olds. Skipping breakfast is not good, and neither is weighing yourself!

You said he was controlling around food, and telling you you were fat. That's outrageous enough, but to pass this onto your DD is not on.

He can be furious all he wants, be furious back.

Don't know what to suggest other than trying to undo any damage he's done with his diet tips and stupid suggestions of weighing and logging food. Twat.

It's not about the iPhone though is it people who are missing the point to whinge about a phone, fucks sake.

Your ex is a twat. MFP isn't for kids and she's gonna end up with an eating disorder at this rate. Hope you can reassure her about her weight and undo any damage he might have done.

Notify MFP that the account has been set up for a 10 year old and they will close it down.

Notify them of her number and they may be able to stop it being set up again till she's old enough.

Link her iPhone to your Apple account and then you will need to put a password in before she installs any apps.

Lol at the outrage at a 10 year old having a phone

I agree OP that MFP will close her account if you inform them she's 10. Your ex is a dick

Outrageous! And sorry OP but I would say being controlling over food is a form of abuse or the start of it. Get the account deleted etc etc

Daily weight ins? No bloody way! I'd delete it and have a chat to her about body image and healthy living (good food, exercise and a good sleep). Not weight.

She's only 10, poor kid! She is growing and your ex is acting like a complete idiot.

PLease get him to stop this. He's setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating. Remove the app or get her a non-smart phone.

OP being controlling around anything (although you say food in your first post) IS abusive.

Well he's obviously not doing a very good job supporting her to be healthy if she's gone to school without breakfast!

And what is all the posting for a friend disclaimer all about? It's clearly your DD and ex?

unless friend is using your account

This is so fucking sad. Thank goodness your "friend"
Had the common sense to delete it.

When is needs to have a serious chat with her about how dangerous it is to count calories and weight yourself every day, when you are 10 years old. Tell her being "healthy" has got nothing to do wth counting calories.

Actually wasn't me. I have 2x DS's. My friend messaged me as she thought she was going mad as that is how he made her feel by her response to it. I said let's post on MN and you can see if your reaction is normal!

So thank you ladies of MN... you have confirmed what we thought.

And I said the 'disclaimer' in case I got asked questions that I couldn't answer! Didn't want to be accused of trolling or the like.