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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How would you have handled this near death experience?

44 replies

LadyClaudette · 18/09/2017 13:42

Maybe slightly dramatic title, but still scary! DH has been driving a good few years and in this time has made long journeys, been on motorways, etc... He considers himself a good and confident driver.

On a single, national speed carriageway today, a motorbike in front of him (whilst I was a passenger) slowed down to 20mph. No reason for it. I presume a motorbike would have hazard lights if something was wrong? And he also passed a road leading off the carriageway if he needed to turn off due to an issue.

This continues for thirty seconds or so and he did not speed up. The cars behind us were getting nearer so DH went to overtake motorbike.

It was a strip of straight road, plenty of overtaking space. He began to overtake- then the guy on the motorbike decided to gun his engine and go up to about 60mph as we were alongside him!

So DH was now on the wrong side of the road, going 60mph, and unable to drop back as the car behind us originally had caught up...

Motorbike still didn't slow down!

In the end DH had to speed past 60mph up to about 80mph to finish overtaking. All the time I was terrified of a car coming in the opposite direction.

So AIBU to ask what you would have done here?

DH is mortified and wonders what he should have done. I haven't been driving as long so don't really know what of it!

OP posts:

Alittlepotofrosie · 18/09/2017 14:17

He should have indicated left to pull back into his lane. If the motorcyle accelerated that fast then there should have been room between dh and the car behind.

FlaviaAlbia · 18/09/2017 14:23

I had a similar experience to this with a car full of young men. It was terrifying as it was dark and I didn't know what they were playing at.

If it hadn't happened to me I would have said to slow down and pull in behind them but when it did happen to me, they slowed down too to stop me when I tried that.

I ended up getting lucky and being able to pull off the road quickly to a side road while they speed on and couldn't slow down in time to follow me.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/09/2017 14:32

No one can tell you what the safest thing was to do, because no one else was there.

You & DH need to have a nice brandy/whisky cup of tea & be thankful you're both ok. He's been driving 30 years & he's managed not to kill himself or others so it's safe to assume he did the best thing possible when he had to make a split second decision and even if he didn't, there's absolutely no point in going over it & over it because what's done is done and the chances if it happening exactly the same way again are slimmer than my chance of winning the lottery 😊

Stop over thinking it & go & do something nice together.

Izzabellasasperella · 18/09/2017 14:35

This happened to dh a few years ago but it was a car he tried to overtake. He was behind a slow moving car, nsl road, safe long stretch but as he drew parallel to the car they sped up, he had to pull back in unfortunately he clipped the back of their car causing damage to their car and ours. His word against theirs he ended up having to do a safer driving course.

PuppyMonkey · 18/09/2017 14:49

Not sure what was going on with the motorbike, but I also think the car behind that had "caught up" should have seen the situation and allowed you back in - they should have slowed down and flashed you back in. Would that driver have just carried on and merrily watched you hit the oncoming traffic...

Lovemusic33 · 18/09/2017 15:56

I would have probably done what your dh did though it probably wasn't the right choice, it's hard to judge unless your in that situation and I think a natural reaction would be just to try and get past. The right thing to have done would have been to let him go and drop back in behind him. He was driving dangerously and being a twat.

Taxminion · 18/09/2017 16:11

Incident with a very slow car happened with DH driving me and our (then) young children. Driver in front was very slow, then suddenly accelerated when DH tried to overtake. A car appeared coming fast the other way. DH managed to pull back and behind, but panicked for a few seconds and I screamed at him to pull back. DH was mortified and his driving confidence took a massive dent.
Sorry this happened to you. Not a near death as such, but a lesson learned to be ever vigilant for idiots or the downright malicious.

hackmum · 18/09/2017 16:22

How terrifying. I don't know what I'd have done.

littlemissneela · 18/09/2017 20:33

We had a similar thing happen to us many years ago between Buxton and Chapel en le Frith. Long straight stretch of road, car in front going very slow, bf decided to overtake so the slow car sped up with us along side! We pulled in behind. This happened about 3 times! Very scary.

Guiltybystander · 18/09/2017 20:38

What a title! I thought you saw Jesus.

Migraleve · 18/09/2017 20:44

At the point where the motorcyclist increased his speed your DH should have decreased his. The car that had been behind him would have simply needed to lift their foot from the accelerator a little to let your DH back in. It's ridiculous of you to suggest that your DH had to race along and complete the overtaking manoeuvre.

About as ridiculous as the thread title

Wondermoomin · 18/09/2017 20:46

Ok so accepting that this was not a near death experience

Under the circumstances you describe in the OP I'd have given the biker longer. Under the circumstances you describe in the later post I might have started an overtake. When the biker accelerated so dramatically I'd have absolutely slowed down and fallen back in line. The car behind you would soon realise and make room. Absolutely no way would I race someone to complete this overtake, especially not a motorbike, that's just lunacy. Chalk it up to experience.

Ttbb · 18/09/2017 20:48

wwll if I couldn't get past in time I would have just rammed into the motorcyclist. Better he die (after all he was to blame) than I. In future when you see someone driving suspiciously you should get the hell away from them asap rather than waiting for things to come to a head.

Ttbb · 18/09/2017 20:49

Oh, failed to mention that this is assuming that the guy behind you was also an idiot and didn't leave enough room for you to drop back.

frogsoup · 18/09/2017 20:52

He really didn't need to speed up to 80 to overtake. If he'd clearly indicated that he needed to move back in, obviously the car behind would have let him in. Clearly the motorbike rider was a dangerous arse, but that was an error of judgement on your husband's part.

Having said that, I know in the stress of a situation it's possible to act foolishly. I was once stuck in front of a tailgating bus. It was about 2 metres from my back bumper on a national speed limit road, it was terrifying, I had baby DD in the back of the car as well. He was obviously trying to intimidate me for the hell of it. I kept trying to speed up to escape him, but then when I was out of sight of him I would go back to the speed limit, at which point he'd catch up and do it again! In retrospect I should have slowed down to 10 miles an hour until he overtook, but I was so freaked out that good sense went out of the window. I really wish I'd reported that fucking bus driver, it was my scariest moment in over 20 years of driving.

bimbobaggins · 19/09/2017 05:39

How many times do you see comments on motoring threads where people take great delight speeding up when someone tries to overtake them etc. Perhaps either the biker or car behind was a mumsnetter

Nuttynoo · 19/09/2017 06:53

You're such a drama queen OP. Hardly a near death experience. Your dh should have waited for the motorcyclist if it was so dangerous to overtake.

whompoleSaily · 19/09/2017 10:25

Your DH was in the wrong to keep accelerating but I wouldn't say he was unreasonable as such because it seems unfair to judge in hindsight.

He should have slowed down (even simply lifting off the throttle), expecting the car behind to slow and them both to pull back in.

Everyone in this situation was wrong. The motorbike was obviously in the wrong. Whether rightly or wrongly aggrieved, they shouldn't have acted the way they did.

Your DH shouldn't have tried to out-accelerate the inside vehicle.

The car following you should have maintained their distance.

I have been all 3 in this instance. Riding my bike, I've been frightened by a car and rather than act maturely, I've let my adrenaline take over and tried to prove a point. I've had an inside car speed up and rather than let them go, I've floored it and ended up racing. I've also been too close to a car in front when both overtaking a slow-moving vehicle ahead.

Your DH needs a faster car. That way you can get in front of a slower vehicle much more quickly. Love my M6

Anecdoche · 19/09/2017 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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